Really missed this board the last few days. Update on us

[marquess78]

So the boards were down at the worst possible time for me:( I know that is so very selfish of me to say and I apologize. Its been a rough couple of days.

I had my scan and appt on Tues. Funny thing was, I thought I was in labor. I started having very real feeling, regular, all the way from front to back contractions at 630 that morning. They stayed regular every 5-8 minutes and didnt stop with water, snacks, rest, nothing made them go away. So I cleaned my house, finished packing my car, did all those last minute things that you would do if you were in labor and not wanting to rush into the hospital. They continued for several hours after the appt was over.

I had the most painful, uncomfortable scan I have every had in my life, fighting to stay still during the contractions. Good news, both babies had amazing growth spurts. Even with the inaccuracy of u/s they looked great. They estimated little girl at 5lb4oz and little boy at 7lb4oz. With the boys measurements I made her measure again because to me that seems impossible. But she got the same thing twice so we went with it. Little boy is also breech again:( And my chiro is now practicing 1.5 hrs away from where I live and she was the only one in my area certified in Webster.

I got into my OBs office and told him about the contractions I'd been having. He checked me and said, "would it suprise you to know that you are still long, closed, and thick?" Talk about devastated. I broke down in tears. I called my hubby because we had discussed all the possible scenerios and things that would make me throw in the towel and schedule. Well, hearing that after 11+ hours of regular contractions I was still closed up like Ft Knox, broke me.

I have to give OB credit, and I know most will find this hard to believe, but he tried to talk me out of scheduling. Said we didnt need to schedule anything and he would make himself available whenever I needed him to(except for Thanksgiving Day). But at that point I was so defeated. Betrayed by my own body. I dont want preemies. I dont want to go into labor before they are ready. And I DO want to go into labor and have a VBAC. But it looks as if my body cant figure that part out. I know there is still time for me. I know that. But after fighting so hard with the other OBs just to have the right to decide how my babies should be born, I felt like this needed to be on my terms. And I refuse to give any other the other SOBs the satisfaction of being the one to cut me. OB also said that should I go into labor before the scheduled date, or even that morning, I can deliver however I want.

I dont have pre-e. No protein in my urine and since my BP is normal most of the time, then we are ok to continue without action. Just reduced salt intake, lots of fluids (which isnt a prob since I drink at least 2+ gallons of water daily), and rest/elevate my enormous legs and feet.

The fact that I have limited help is also another reason that I went ahead and scheduled. The 2nd leg of hubby's business trip got cancelled so he is home from today until the 29th. Plus we have family coming for Thanksgiving weekend. After the 29th I am alone again until mid-December. So we scheduled for 11/23 at 9:30am. I will be 37w2d and yes that is earlier than I would have chosen with just a singleton. But that gives me a very large support team to help out around the house at least for the first week, which for me recovery wise is always the hardest.

I still hope to go into labor. But I am not pushing the issue anymore. Hubby is more than willing to help me out in that dept as long as it isnt painful for me. And I am still taking EPO orally. I havent been drinking the RRL tea as I really dont expect much out of it. Nothing short of my water breaking will make me believe that I am in labor ever again. I felt so stupid on Tues. Its only ever happened for me once and my water broke before contractions started. I considered nipple stimulation and black/blue cohoshes but honestly if I'm not ready then it wont work. And I dont want to inadvertantly cause problems for my babies by pushing my body to do something its not going to do on its own. And since I havent had a single bowel movement that wasnt the consistency of applesauce (sorry for the TMI) for weeks, castor oil SO isnt happening. I have enough issues in that dept thanks very much, LOL.

I am trying to keep a positive outlook and my OB will try to make it as least traumatic as possible for me. I cant thank him enough for being so good about all of this. He is a credit to his profession, honestly.

Wish me luck. I hope that things go differently and my body kicks into gear and I go into labor, but if not, I will make the most of my babies arrival. My husband is a wreck about it, more so than me. He wasnt allowed in for DD delivery (they sent him in the opposite direction when they wheeled me off for my c/s) and for my surrogate deliveries my sister was my support person. I worry about him, LOL.

Thanks for being so awesome and I appreciate any advice anyone has for me. Also, I want to do a c/s specific birth plan. Has anyone done one of these and can give me an idea of what to include? 

[Renai]

I've been following your posts, but I don't understand this one. It sounds like your body IS getting ready, in other words, has figured "that part" out. It's normal for the body to prepare, and some women's bodies prepare for weeks. Others are at 0 one day and 10 the next.

It also sounds like your dh would be back from the business trip by the time you'd be 40 weeks (if I calculated that right, and if the babies stayed in that long, which many twins do). So I'm not understanding the scheduling at 37 weeks.

Maybe I missed something. Why do you need to go into labor before 37 weeks? Can you try to talk to the babies to stay in until 40?

[MsBlack]

Well, Mama--

You do whatever you feel you must do...your body, your babies, your life.  Trust yourself.

And just remember--having a csec scheduled does NOT mean you have to show up!  You might go into labor anyway, by then--because I agree with the pp who said it does look like you are gearing up for labor already.  And you might decide on that day to go ahead and have the csec.  But you can always call at the last minute to cancel if by then you've had a change of heart.

Honestly...you sound like a mama in the last days of pregnancy!  A bit crazed/hormonal--and who wouldn't be, after the mighty struggle and all the stress you've had til now?  As if pregnancy itself doesn't make us *all* a bit crazy-hormonal from time to time    So--all I can say is, take it easy on yourself for these final days of this momentous pregnancy.  The end is so near, one way or another (and of course, the beginning--or life with twins!).

If you do have a csec, then for me plans around the babies are the most important--babies being in your own and dh's arms as much as possible.  What are the protocols for csec in your hospital, when it comes to babies?  Nowadays, if mom and babies are doing well, they can stay with you in the OR instead of being shipped to nursery for your recovery.  This is the part that I would want to know about, if I were you.

all the best!  You're doing just great, really--you have  my great admiration for all your work with this pregnancy/birth!

[marquess78]

I of course understand the confusion. Im still adjusting to it myself. Basically its what felt right (and consequently wrong at the same time) to me when I did it.

And I can still change my mind, and my OB is cool with that. I am still processing the whole thing and coming to terms with the choice I made for myself and my babies. I also hate to sound super selfish again but I am in so much physical pain I can barely function. Just getting to the bathroom makes me cry. I can't and don't sleep. My feet and legs are so swollen and the skin is so stretched tight it hurts just to put lotion on them. But thats an all about me moment.

I dont want to be in a place where DH misses the whole thing either. If I decide to cancel, he leaves on his trip and babies decide to come while he is gone, it will take his company a full day to get him back to me. I took his feelings into consideration as well.  I have moments where I struggle with myself and ask 'did I make the right choice for the right reasons'.

In the end, I hope that I did.

As for why 37w2d and not waiting at least til labor starts, I dont want a stranger delivering my babies. I want the OB who fought for me this whole time.  Someone  I trust not to do something backhanded like 'accidentally' give me a tubal while their in there fooling around with things. Plus DH doesnt return until 12/10. My EDD is 12/12 and when I asked L and D about scheduling for the 11th or 12th, that entire week is booked except for the 10th (which doesnt work because DH wont get in until the afternoon and he will be tired from travelling) and there are no openings on the 11th and the 12th my OB isnt available and its a Sunday so they don't typically do 'routine' c/s ont hose days. Plus going post dates with these two is something OB and I agreed we didnt want to do. I've had post date babies in the past, and I am aware that these two may be just as stubborn.

The only way to ensure I get the OB I trust is to schedule it with him, when we are all available. We can do it any day the week of Thanskgiving except Thanksgiving. DH leaves on 11/29 and then I am alone again. OB chose the 29th initially til I told him I would be alone and have no one with me during or after the surgery. So we compromised on an earlier date.

I am planning to speak with him at my next appt. Im not sure what I will say but I am sure it will be a long conversation. I hate that I felt in neccessary to schedule at all but I had a feeling that it would come to that.

[Renai]

You have a lot going on, hon, and it must be considered the help you have with twins on the way for sure.   With the trials you've been through, I wouldn't want any old doc at that practice putting their hands on me either! The constant pain must be exhausting too. I'm shuffling around like I'm in a Japanese kimono and I'm not due until 12/30. I'm actually kind of hoping this baby comes earlier too, for various reasons.