what does this sound like?

[ktgrok]

My son is 11. I've always assumed he was "normal" but difficult.  I've spent years thinking he was rude and I have failed as a mother to teach him basic manners.  He is very very very argumentative, and always has been. People say it is puberty, but his kindergarten teacher told me he should apply for law school because he argued so much, and had very rigid thinking.  His father has fought severe depression and anxiety for many years. actually, that whole side of the family have depression issues.  Not sure how much that plays into this.  Anyway, I compiled this list and would love some feedback. Oh, and I forgot to mention he has always hated having his picture taken. Even as a toddler. Not sure if that is a relevant sign of anything.  https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=explorer&chrome=true&srcid=0B-YygjxIGmm4ZDhlNWM2MmItNWNiNC00YTVmLWI5MmEtYWMxNzU4OTU0NmIz&authkey=CObo6N0G&hl=en

[askew]

I'm absolutely no expert, but have you had him evaluated for Autism spectrum disorders? That is the first hit I got looking through you list. Like maybe Aspergers? If I were you I would look into a complete evaluation just to figure out if anything is going on. Maybe a developmental ped? 

[ktgrok]

The neuropsych we are scheduled to see evaluates for ASD, SPD, and other issues.  So far people have mentioned ASD, Bipolar, and SPD.

I'm scared silly.  Part of me would welcome knowing it's not something I'm messing up, that he really is wired differently. The other part is scared to death of what a diagnosis would mean.

[SpottedFoxx]

Originally Posted by ktgrok 

The neuropsych we are scheduled to see evaluates for ASD, SPD, and other issues.  So far people have mentioned ASD, Bipolar, and SPD.

I'm scared silly.  Part of me would welcome knowing it's not something I'm messing up, that he really is wired differently. The other part is scared to death of what a diagnosis would mean.

I get why you are scared.  I too was terrified to get an official diagnosis but what I realized is this... they are words, they don't change who my son is.  The only thing a diagnosis will change is the fact that he is now going to get whatever support and help he needs.  As the parent of a child with special needs, the more I understand my son's multiple diagnosis, the more I am able to understand my child's behavior.  I used to get so frustrated with my son's wild behavior.  Now that I understand he has a sensory processing disorder, I have grown to enjoy and love his sensory seeking.  I can now manage it using a sensory diet. 

It's great that you are having him evaluated.  The sooner you get answers, the sooner you can understand your child.  Good luck and know there is a wonderful community out here who will support you - whatever the diagnosis is.  {{{Hugs}}}

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by ktgrok 

The neuropsych we are scheduled to see evaluates for ASD, SPD, and other issues.  So far people have mentioned ASD, Bipolar, and SPD.

I'm scared silly.  Part of me would welcome knowing it's not something I'm messing up, that he really is wired differently. The other part is scared to death of what a diagnosis would mean.

A diagnosis means you can focus efforts on doing what will best help your ds, instead of randomly trying things to see what will stick.

My first though was Asperger's. Considering your family history I would have him evaluated for bipolar, but my son also had issues with mood swings which pretty much went away once we addressed his other issues.

My son is diagnosed ADHD and possibly Asperger's (he's 6yo). I see a lot of similarities in behavior from your list. We too, had to to pull him from an activity (TKD), but we kept him in midget football (despite similar issues as you described) because the team needed the numbers and dh had to be there anyway as a coach. It took a lot of work, but between the medication/cognitive behavioral therapy, and persistence on dh's part, ds finally began "really" participating about halfway through the season--a small part of the issue was that the team were all young first time players and no one knew how to play; ds tends to give up if he perceives something as difficult. His improvement in attitude towards football also helped him in other areas.

Ds also had problems with horrid tantrums that could go on for an hour, aggression, and destructiveness. He is doing much better this year in 1st grade.