Withholding poop now 6 months after being fully potty trained

[ellemenope]

I want to emphasize that this is not a potty training issue.  She has been *loving* the poop thing on the potty for almost 6 months now.  For the past six months, every day once a day like clockwork DD would go into the bathroom, close the door, grab a catalog, and do her business.

ETA: DD is 28 months.

About a month ago DD decided to not poop while on a trip.  She withheld for about 6 days until she spiked a significant fever, we freaked out, got the glycerin suppositories, and used one.  She went immediately and her fever went right down. 

She was back to normal for about a week or two, and then out of the blue she decided to withhold again.

Her diet has never been better.  She gets flax seed, probiotics, and coinciding with her decision to withhold poop she has decided to eat a peeled apple everyday and love broccoli.

She can go about 3 days before she can't hold it anymore.  When she poops IT IS NOT HARD.  She is not constipated.  Her stool is soft and comes out easy.

It would not be a problem except that after a day of not pooping we start to see the effects of her holding her poop.  She grabs her crotch, dances around on her tippy toes, and whines.  It gets so bad as we approach day 3 or 4, and then finally her eyes get as wide as saucers and she runs to the potty.  Or, we fear she will get too stopped up again and give her a suppository.  Then she is as happy as a clam.  She dances around, and we talk about how great it feels to poo.

And, we do it all over again.

So, we have done this about 4 times now.   It is making me so depressed.  I feel helpless.  She is in so much pain, and there is nothing I can do.  Of course, I suggest to her to just get it out.  She tells me to stop suggesting that.  She says she doesn't want to poop.  She thinks that is will hurt if she poops, and she says she would rather her intestines burst.

She is really stubborn.

Two other possibly important notes:

-She has recently become hugely interested in the human body and how it works.

-We have been in the process of moving now for the last few weeks.  We thought we would be leaving last week.  It got pushed back another month.

umm, I think that is it.  She has been constipated in the past.  This is not constipation.  Help me!

Edited by ellemenope - 11/12/10 at 5:06am

[ellemenope]

Please Help!  She went poop last evening after a suppository and she is already grabbing her butt and doing the dance less than 24 hours later.  She still refuses to go, even after conceding that it did not hurt her at all last after she pooped last night.  We even made up a song.

[pear-shaped]

I wish I had some advice. I was hoping someone would have responded to your posts by now because I'm in a similar situation. My dd has been withholding poop for a few months now. She's 34 months. I thought it was constipation at first, but her poop is soft and she doesn't experience any pain when she has a bm. She just doesn't want to do it. I've asked her why and she says is that she doesn't like to do it or doesn't want to do it, no further explanation, which is unusual for her. She tends to go 4-5 days between poops, and starts complaining around the third day. When she finally does go, she's happy, she tells me that she feels better, she likes to poop, etc. The next day we start the cycle again.

I should mention that she had some trouble pooping in the potty at first- for the couple of months I had to put a diaper on her to get her to do it. But she doesn't want the diaper anymore, so that's not an alternative. Her pediatrician told me to give her a laxative until she worked out whatever the problem is, but I'm hesitant to do that. I have given it to her twice- if she goes a week without pooping I start to worry.

I really have no idea what to do. I waver between talking to her often in a positive way about pooping and not saying anything, wondering if I'm making the issue worse by bringing it up. I've made up pooping songs and pooping games, we've tried rewards, which have gotten bigger and bigger as she's gone longer and longer between poops but they don't work. She'd just rather not poop.

[ellemenope]

Well, we made it through this latest episode.  She has been back to her normal "I love pooping" self for over a week.  

The only thing I learned going through this experience is that I must give her time to go on her potty everyday.   She has been a "once a day" kid since about 12 months, so I need to respect that.  She wont understand yet that she must go everyday, so it is my job to remind her.  On travel days, or busy days, it is my job to get her on her potty once before she goes to bed.  Because, otherwise this little girl does not seem to mind holding her poops for days and days without complaining, and then I think she starts to get anxious about it and refuses to go. 

Her anxiety seemed to be kicked up a notch this past episode which was making life unbearable for all of us.  She was only lasting 24 hours post poop before the poop song and dance began.

Another thing I have clued in on is that she will pass very stinky gas when she has to go poop, and these toots will continue pretty regularly until she goes.  It is a nice reminder that I need to make sure she gets some Private potty time before the day is through. 

I think this all stems from her new refusal to not go poop on public toilets.

Good luck to everyone else experiencing this poop drama.  It is the worst.

[JudiAU]

I briefly read that you figured this out but I was going to suggest the same thing. Regardless of her own level of control (could poop when needed to) she needs some regular potty time scheduled every day. DS sits on the potty with books when waking up and again before or after nap. Helps a lot.

[ellemenope]

Yes.  If we are home all day, as soon as she gets the urge she runs to her potty and goes.  It seems when that urge come when we are out and about, she has learned to ignore it.  I know we all do this, but this really seems to throw her off, and we must tell her to sit down on the potty when we get home or she just continues this "holding pattern".  We offer her magazines and catalogs in the bathroom and she has taken almost 10 minutes to get her bowels moving.