16 hours from going home and.....

[LeytonsMom10]

.... We had a Brady. =( words can not even describe how we are feeling right now. I'm angry, sad, releaved, scared, depressed, heartbroken.... All mixed into one. I just want my baby home, with me, where I can hold him any time I want and snuggle with him when I want and now we have to wait another 5 days. I know in the long run this will be nothing but right now it feels like the world has just collapsed. Uh, I don't know how to make this feeling go away.

[Momma2Gianna]

I'm sorry I have no advice, but I understand how you feel.  Hang in there sweetie...

[MeepyCat]

Oh god, that is *awful*.  I'm so sorry. 

The A&B rollercoaster can be really tough, and feel like it'll go on forever.  It won't.  You will get home.  The world-collapsing feeling - I don't know.  That's the feeling that eventually made me stop telling people that DD might come home, unfortunately, not having anyone expect her when I did didn't make me feel any less disappointed.

[justmama]

 Wow, I know that well.  That happened to me with my girls too.  One was apnea and we finally came home on a monitor and the other was failing 24hours of keeping her temp stable.  I walked in to take her home all excited and she was back in an isolette and no one called me.  :(  I was devastated.  It was another 5 days before she came home and she wasn't in an open air crib until 24hours before coming home.

[aikigypsy]

24 hours before my guy was supposed to come home his heart rate dropped, too. He had already been in longer than anyone expected, and wound up being in another two weeks, just because of very infrequent apnea.  It was so frustrating. I'd say I wasn't able to take it, emotionally, but mostly I just had random melt-downs, like bursting into tears when I couldn't get a seat on the bus on the way home from the hospital (we lived a 3-4 hour trip from the hospital). 

It does end eventually. You'll get through.