not as "in" to parenting as I used to be..

[sweetpea333]

I have  5 and 6 year old daughters,  and I find myself not being as playful as I used to be when they were younger,  I don't ignore them or anything I just find myself not  setting out activities as I used to or not going on very many outings during the school week.  I'm actually started to feel like a shabby mom,  it's seems like I never think to spontaneously snuggle them anymore or give airplane rides and baby talk them anymore.  I really feel like I'm losing that special bond we had as they get older...  

[cjam]

I think this idea that we need to entertain our kids is relatively new.  My parents didn't set out activities and outings were rare and special.  I believe that kids are better off if their parents aren't jumping through hoops to entertain them.  I've met a few kids who appear to have the attitude that the entire world revolves around them.  I plan special outings for the kids approximately once a week.  I make some activities available to them by providing some raw material.  But mostly I send them off to play and the best creativity happens when I'm not involved at all.  Yesterday I kicked them out of the house and they make piles of "bird houses" with the leaves and sticks in the yard.  That's the kind of play that's good for them. 

So don't be so hard on yourself.  Plan the occasional thing for them but let them learn to entertain themselves.  If you constantly entertain your kids, they will start to think of you as their personal court jester.  I've seen it happen.

[meemee]

aaaaah mama. the bonds are changing as your children grow up. parenting is evolving as you all grow together. 

when they were younger they needed all that physical touch, and one on one to feel that bond. today it might just be the hug or a look and it is enough.

at 3 they werent grateful for the food you cooked them. but now your girls are getting to feel and understand what you do for them. 

oh yeah i noticed teh same when my dd was 5. but then our true bonding time was our travel time to and from school. i would say it went far deeper than when seh was younger. it was true communication then.

i have a v. independent girl. so i rarely see her nowadays. she is 8. seh is either at her friends or buried in her stuff. but when we ARE together it is INTENSE. seriously. oh we talk. today my dd sees my 'nos' not as a power play, but concern for her. so she doesnt automatically throw a tantrum when i say no.

so no you are not becoming a shabby mom. you are just evolving to another level of parenting.

i just had to stop kissing my dd in public. i was asked not to  however she came home dancing from school telling me about her latest 'crush' - and yeah she gets it. 

so if anything as dd grows older - as long as we communicate (and yes 80% of our communication is unspoken) - i feel our bonds are getting even deeper.