14.5 months still exclusively bf, REFUSES all solids... HELP - Page 2

[slinkyfish]

You are absolutely not alone!  My DD was such a skimpy eater (AND nurser!) that we had nutritional concerns.  She was born a hefty 8+lbs and dropped down to the 5 percentile in weight by the time she was 6 months old.  She has never had a problem growing tall, but when she completely fell off the weight chart her ped asked us to get a pediatric GI and a pediatric endocrinologist involved.  After all her tests came back perfect, everyone had roughly the same conclusion -- she will eat if she wants to -- but forcing her is going to create emotional stress at best -- long term eating/control issues at worst.  The last thing I wanted to do was foster an unhealthy relationship with food from the get-go.  So I did two things that really helped -- one, I read Child Of Mine: Feeding With Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Satter (amazing, practical, Get-Me-Through-This-NOW advice).  This really helped me take the pressure off of eating/feeding times.  And two -- I gave my DD eating buddies.  Sitting with two other toddlers also in high chairs, watching them eat the same food really had a positive peer-pressure effect on her.  It was great for my friends too to come over.  I would happily provide breakfast or lunch for all the kids while the moms could have some adult time.  Moms weren't hovering/stressing over every bite -- kids were being social, but engaged in eating -- it was a really positive experience.  It didn't happen everyday, but it sure helped my DD figure out how to pack it in like her buddies.  Now she is 20 months and 21 pounds.  Still skinny -- but bouncy, happy, healthy and so tall.  All specialists have given her a clean bill of health and released her from their care.

If you don't get a chance to read the Satter book, the best advice I took from it was learning feeding boundaries.  It is my responsibility to decide when and what to eat -- it is my child's responsibility to put the food in her mouth and eat.  Neither one of those lines should be crossed -- forcing food into a kid's mouth (which I am sorry to say I did in moments of 0 percentile desperation) over steps my boundaries.  We are at a happy, healthy, control-free place with food now and it is fabulous.

Good luck and I know how hard this is.  It gets better, I promise!

[coyotemist]

Originally Posted by Carolyn_mtl 

She has a tooth brush, doesn't seem to bother her, although she doesn't like me putting it in her mouth, but she will, and she'll chew on it / impersonate me brushing my teeth.

Labour and delivery were textbook, 39+4 weeks, 1st contraction - delivery was 6 hours, 100% drug free :)

And she gets vitamin d :)

Well, all that seems normal.  Hmmmm...she sounds like an odd case.  :)

[SomethingAnonymous]

Hey I just wanted to add another "you are not alone"  My son is almost 16 months, and some days are still exclusively nursing.  When he went to bed last night, I asked his dad, "what did he eat today?"  And we realized out of all the stuff we offered, he'd had like 3 bites and then just nursed all day.  He seems really healthy, so I am sure it's fine.

[bajamergrrl]

My 16 mo old is the same way. He's just not that interested in solids.

[FMB]

Carolyn, 

I found your thread. Wow, lots of similarities. Would love it if you would keep us posted on your little one. i will do the same. We both seem to be in that catch 22 of not wanting to take away nursing (the one thing that they WILL eat) but wanting them to up the solids intake. I have a super holistic doctor (she's an allopath, but is really naturally-oriented) and she is pretty reassuring. She often says things like "some babies just take much longer to eat solids, and there's not a lot you can do about it." She also tells us we're doing everything right. 

We just felt frustrated. I'd posted on some other fora where I was saying that we were having issues and people were saying "eat all together, show less stress while eating, pull him up to the table" but we were doing all of that. we were also letting him try for soft solids in lieu of purees as well. I feel like I personally go in cycles where I think "it's perfectly fine that he's not eating more" and then later feel like "okay, I'm worried." 

It sounds like my DS is eating more than your DD because he will take bites. 

One thing I meant to say is that, whatever else is going on, one thing that I DEFINITELY notice is that when he is teething, whatever minimal desire for solids he otherwise had is gone. So if you're constantly teething like we are, maybe that's an issue? 

One thing we've started to see some luck with is those organic baby food pouches. He'll definitely take a few bites of them most of the time. Sometimes he will slug it directly from the pouch, and sometimes we make a bit of a game / interaction where he holds out his spoon and I "fill it up" with a squirt from the pouch. It's a bit maddening, considering I'm a foodie myself and made his babyfood myself (to have him refuse it -- boo!) but I'm over my pride on that one and I've loosened my standards with respect to not giving him commercial baby food because if it works, it works. They make them in organic varieties -- revolution foods has one called "tropical" that is especially delicious, there's also plum organics and ella's kitchen I think. Happybaby (Dr. Sears' brand) makes them too but DS doesn't like those). 

Good luck!!!!

[FMB]

The other thing our pediatrician said we could do is let him try organic ice cream. Basically something super delicious that will tempt him into eating.  Mine loves ice cream. But obviously I'm going to figure my breastmilk is healthier than ice cream...  But it does tempt him into taking some bites, and at least that gives him practice with eating. 

I'm hoping both our kids will just sort this out soon! Worrying is unfun. 

[PreggieUBA2C]

My now four yr old didn't eat a bite of solid food until he was 14.5 months old. He sat at the table and was served food at every meal from the time that he wanted to have his own seat that was not my lap. Like a pp, after the first two dc, I decided that my next dc would eat food when they were able and wanted it- no more spoon-feeding for me!

So, ds3 ebf until one day, at 14.5 months, he told me he wanted to sleep with his brothers (we co-slept with whichever was the youngest and nursing), we made him a bed in the boys' room, and he slept straight through the night. I woke up all night, checking on him, but he was fast asleep. In the morning, he took a huge nursing, then asked for breakfast, which he ate on his own with his own spoon (whole grain, organic oatmeal with milk, raw honey, and butter); he never wanted to nurse again, and ate solid food thereafter.

There was no set of solids-readiness cues with him, no steps towards eating solids, no taste-testing, no practice chewing-- nothing. He literally was ebf one day and then exclusively table food-fed the next (following his last nursing session when he woke up in the morning). Previously, we had a different "target vessel" on the far end of the table for him, because he used to rip up/break his food and toss the bits into our drinking glasses! And he was veeeery accurate! So, we gave him a target so that we could enjoy our tea and water, and he enjoyed the challenge of different types of targets.

Anyway, my lo just knew what he wanted and enacted it all on his own initiative. He has always been a very advanced, robust child, so I didn't ever worry about him. Had he been my first, I would have; I worried about every. little. thing. with my first. That's the fun of it all, though! Now I let my children raise themselves! Haha, just kidding, but it does get easier, and if you do become pg, your dc might quit nursing because of changes in your milk (or not, of course), and start eating solids. My first two children self-weaned when they found my milk disgusting at around four months pg.

[kdtmom2be]

Just wanted to add in that the "gassy all night" to me signals food allergy.   For us it was garlic. Garlic is in EVERYTHING. She is more tolerant of it now, but she's 3.5.  

We were in a similar boat to you when my DD was 14 months. She wasn't eating ANY solids at 12 months, and still very very little at 14 months.  She has issues with textures, but no "disorder" or anything testable.  She ate mashed potatoes for the first time this spring, at age 3.  I can count on one hand the number of times she's eaten banana or avocado.  She wouldn't off of a metal spoon but would from a plastic spoon (only if they had rounded edges though, no disposable cutlery). No purees.  One trick I did learn was to give her a teething ring before meals to numb her mouth a bit, or feed her frozen goodies like blueberries.  You have to get past the fear of them choking on it for that one though!  When her mouth was numb she was apt to eat more.   Just a few ideas to try.  I know how frustrating it is!  FWIW, our second baby, he'll eat anything but is bordering on FTT.  DD was always a very healthy weight.  Seems like we can't win!

[sewaneecook]

DS1 didn't eat solids until about 18 months.  I remember traveling with him at 15 months and not bringing any food for him because he didn't need it.  We offered solids regularly, but he'd spit them out.  This is often true of allergic children and my DS has an egg allergy.  If your DD is showing food sensitivities, I'd follow her lead and let her go without solids for a bit longer. 

We, too, wanted to start TTC while DS was still mostly BFed.  We put it off for nearly a year until he started getting more calories from other sources.  I couldn't sacrifice the health of a child I had for the potential of another. 

I assumed DS2 would be a slow solids eater too, but at 9 months he grabbed food off my plate and started pulling his high chair out and saying 'nana' for banana.  Each child is different. 

[Carolyn_mtl]

Just wanted to update..

We are now at 15.5 months, and she still isnt eating anything. She seems to bring food to her mouth more often than she was, touch her lips with it, and thats' about it. On rare occasions, she will bite a cheerio in half, then spit it out. If I manage to get any food in her mouth, she spits it out immediately. We've also seen an OT, and she is pretty confident DD doesn't have any oral motor issues ect. 

I really just wish someone could promise me she is perfectly fine and that she will be eating solids soon...

I don't think she has an allergies (maybe an intolerance to avocado, or the allergy test was wrong and she is allergic..?) She doesn't show any other symptoms of allergies. She is gassy at night, but other than that there's not much to go on. 

She is so interested in our food, and she loves to touch food, break it apart, really examine it, but then not EAT it. 

[aramat]

Some ideas...

• Frozen breastmilk slushies
• Will she take a bottle? I've had the hardest time keeping breastfeeding going with my youngest because she figured out that bottles flow faster.
• Getting out of the house for snacks--change of scenery
• Playdates with other babies where she can see them eating snacks
• Let someone else care for baby while you get some sleep; if YOU are not around, will she stop thinking about breastmilk long enough to try something else? Sometimes younger babies will take a bottle only if it's not from mom and if mom is not around.

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by Carolyn_mtl 

I really just wish someone could promise me she is perfectly fine and that she will be eating solids soon...

My DS who ate no more than 1-3 TINY bites a day until 16-17mos old is now 22mos old and eats a ton more (though still erratically, and still less than his peers). If there are no obvious medical/developmental/sensory issues then I'm sure she will start eating whenever she is ready!! I didn't go back & re-read the thread so maybe you already try this regularly, I don't remember, but if possible, have someone else give her food, especially with you out of the house but even with you home. DS eats tons more for DH than he does for me, I guess because he'd still just rather have breastmilk! And I will second the pp's suggestions as well, those are all things that helped us a ton. Also around 17-18mos I stopped nursing on demand -- I just couldn't take it anymore -- I still nurse MOST of the time when he asks but there are times when I tell him no. This really was a big part of getting him to eat more, though it took some time for him to get used to...

[nickysan]

I know it can be such a big worry when your little one just doesn't eat. My two and a half year old didn't start eating properly until she was 2 and I agonized over it so much. The only advice I could offer is try not to worry. I actually suspect that it is perfectly normal and imagine that in some cultures where extended bf is the norm this kind of thing is probably very common. The difficulty is the comparison, looking at other children wolfing down plates of dinner when your child wont eat so much as a pea is very difficult. Try not to pay too much attention to doctors advice on what and how much she should be eating, she just prefers booby right now and will come round to solids in her own time. Try to put your fear aside and trust her. Good luck

[Carolyn_mtl]

Nickysan - Thank you for that!

Some days I don't worry at all, thinking that she just isnt ready yet, and she will eventually eat.. other times, I totally freak out. I am just worried that her lack of food is affecting her growth. I am 5'9" and my dh is just over 6 feet, and at 15.5 months dd is around 29.5 inches (maybe not even?) She is also about 18.5 lbs, and was 17.8 at 12 months.. thats not much growth!

I left her with dh yesterday, and she went 8 hours without eating! He tried to give her pumped milk from many different bottles / sippy / regular cups. She wouldn't drink it. She's never used a bottle, I was constantly on the search for one she might like.. He offered her all sorts of foods, she didn't ingest anything (she did chew on arrowroot cookies, but spat them out). So, even if she has a small appetite, one would assume a child who eat almost hourly would be HUNGRY after 7 or 8 hours! Obviously when I got home she nursed like crazy... We might try it again tomorrow, (dh is now on vacation!) she seems more interested in bottles today.. if I could at least get her drinking pumped milk from a bottle, I could stock up the freezer and know she had food in the event something terrible happened to me... 

[Mom2M]

I had some problems with DD eating solids also, a little different but your mentioning the chewing everything except food really stood out to me!

DD was the same way, she chewed the coffee table so much we had to put a bumper cover on it and we found her with her mouth on everything!  Anyway, we ended up going through some OT with her and one of the things we did seemed to stop the gnawing on everything.

We gave her a vibrating teether, a textured spoon and another textured teether.

I would put her in a highchair, give her the vibrating teether and also have the food on the tray for her to play with.  Using the teether seemed to stimulate her wanting to eat and she would put things in her mouth.  The 1st foods we were successful with her eating were spicy, like Indian food, again some stimulation there, I guess to the taste buds. The textured spoon was kind of flat but the bumps on it would hold some liquid somehow no matter which way it was turned.  So I put soup or something on it and she would start teething with it and get a taste of it in her mouth.

Another thing she liked was the heel of a hard loaf of bread.  I guess it was enough like wood for her to eat, lol.

She told us to feed her in the highchair, not let her run around like we usually do and sit with her and eat at the same time. 

Good luck, I know it is frustrating. 

[anacaro]

I just wanted to say that you are not alone and from reading the other posts there are also several good ideas.  Giving her time with your DH helps.  My DS definitely eats less if it is only him and I at the table because he knows he can nurse. And, since dc are so in tune with our emotions, they pick up on the anxiety, even if it is very little, and react in different ways.  I have also stopped nursing on demand as much and it has helped our relationship since he now seems to understand that we as parents have needs to it feels that in this way we also honor DS being a human being with his own capacities. 
 

The suggestions from <slinkyfish> earlier are very helpful to us with DS at 131/2 months. The Child of Mine book is really great!

Originally Posted by slinkyfish 

 So I did two things that really helped -- one, I read Child Of Mine: Feeding With Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Satter (amazing, practical, Get-Me-Through-This-NOW advice).  This really helped me take the pressure off of eating/feeding times.  And two -- I gave my DD eating buddies.  Sitting with two other toddlers also in high chairs, watching them eat the same food really had a positive peer-pressure effect on her.  It was great for my friends too to come over. 

-c

[Therese's Mommy]

Originally Posted by nickysan 

I know it can be such a big worry when your little one just doesn't eat. My two and a half year old didn't start eating properly until she was 2 and I agonized over it so much. The only advice I could offer is try not to worry. I actually suspect that it is perfectly normal and imagine that in some cultures where extended bf is the norm this kind of thing is probably very common. The difficulty is the comparison, looking at other children wolfing down plates of dinner when your child wont eat so much as a pea is very difficult. Try not to pay too much attention to doctors advice on what and how much she should be eating, she just prefers booby right now and will come round to solids in her own time. Try to put your fear aside and trust her. Good luck

I am sorry to hear you are still worried about your little one.  I think the above post has alot of wisdom in it.  I spoon fed my first and she started eating solids in earnest at 7mos.  I decided I was done with spoon feeding, so my second was given food to self feed.  She didn't start eating solids until 11 mos, but she has a ton of food allergies so I figured that was why.  Now, my baby was given table food starting at about 10mos and as I posted earlier in this thread she didn't eat anything.  It is just now, within the past 2 weeks that she is actually eating (although still spitting out a decent amount).  So, she starting ingesting solids at about 13.5 months.  So, since she has no allergies I started to wonder the same thing that nickysan wrote.  It makes a lot of sense to me.  It doesn't mean that the mom whose child starts eating solids in earnest at 6 months is doing anything wrong, but just that each child is different and if left to develop at their own pace the normal range will be a lot wider than we are led to believe.

My opinion is that one day, all of a sudden your lo is going to surprise you and just start chowing down.  Like the child that has no words and then all of a sudden starts talking in complete sentences :)