Lol, I just posted a reply to another thread about this, but I made my first intactivist "public" statement by linking to a blog I really liked on my facebook page. I tried to post the link in a very friendly, non-threatening "fyi" kind of way, but I am allergic to confrontation, and my palms are cold and sweaty now. Whew! That shouldn't have been so hard, because I know I need to be more vocal, but I am really uncomfortable. I had a great conversation with a new friend today who left her two sons intact, and that must have boosted my confidence a little. I feel completely comfortable in my choice, and I go over what I would say in my head all the time (I think it's a little mental personally, lol) but I hear so many flippant "pro" comments or read them in articles, that it gets me going I guess.
Whew, sweaty palms
The blog is 50 reasons not to circ, and you can find the link in that post. No responses yet... which surprises me. It made me nervous all day, but then, I was very non confrontational about it, telling my facebook friends to just pretend it's a Farmville score if they disagree with it, lol. Hopefully if I ticked anybody off, it diffused it a little (but then, why is it my problem if somebody else gets so defensive?) I figure, if I do nothing else, them they all know I didn't circ and am happy about it. It could plant a seed. When we were deciding, I know dh wanted to know who among our friends didn't. When I posted "it's all good" by the way, i just meant "no worries". Circ is in no way good!
here's what i posted (I think I can post that here... moderator just let me know if I'm wrong...)
"generally don't post about my personal beliefs, but since we didn't circumcise our son and are very happy with the results, here's a great link I came across to 50 reasons to just skip it (if you are for it, no worries ;o) it's all good... just putting it out there fyi)
... and when I said "fyi" it was because "for general information that some might find helpful but if it does not pertain to you or you disagree, please disregard" was an unruly acronym... what is that... "fgitsm...fhbidnptyoyd?" lol, seriously though, it is only food for thought for those who are thinking about it, like we were 7 months ago (sheesh, has it been that long already?!) and I wanted to give what I thought were some interesting points. I assume that if any of my wonderful friends, who I know are equally wonderful parents, disagree, then they will treat the link like a Farmville score :)'
I know it sounded pretty conciliatory, but I wanted to try to get people to think about it a little without being in their face. In the future, if anybody asks them if they know anybody who doesn't circ, at least my facebook friends can now all say yes
Tammy, it is always that way, but gets better as time goes on. There have been many opportunities in the past to have said something, but I chickened out. Now, I really regret the missed chances. I suppose it is because we are conditioned to view circumcision as one of those "taboo" subjects. I once asked my aged aunt about my grandfather - her answer was: "I don't know, dear, no one talked about that kind of thing in those days". However, in the last few years I have been more willing to say something, and I have to say that not one person has opposed or ridiculed me. All the women have been very open and willing to talk.
A couple of weeks ago I was in a specialist's office because of a knee injury. She asked "What surgeries have you had?"
"Ever?" I asked. "Yes". "Since day one?" "Yes". "Well, I had a totaly unwarranted and un-necessary circumcision as a child, then at 18 ......"
Other than a slight smile there was no reaction !
Thanks. I didn't get any comments, though I'm sure at least a few people must have taken a look. No arguments or angry comments either. Strangely enough, the most enlightening conversation happened with dh, who was at first angry that I "broadcast" our views. After our conversation, where I pointed out that we have chosen a path that is the right way, but not as common in the US (though that is changing). Because of this, we need to be calm, not angry or pushy, but proud of our views. That is the best way to normalize intactness. He really understood where I was coming from, and it helped his views come around even more!