I'M SO SAD.... Looks like even my DH no longer supports my BF'ing :(

[Icequeen_in_ak]

I swear.... the saga never ends.

I've been struggling with supply issues for quite a while and have been doing everything in my power to make sure I can continue to breastfeed my baby girl!!! My husband doesn't see anything wrong with formula supplementing and thinks that perhaps I'm a bit "metal" about this breastfeeding thing.

Well... I got my supply pretty much in check and then I end up with KIDNEY STONES!!! I went to the doctor (because of the pain) and they tell me that they want to give me injections for pain and that I won't be able to breastfeed for a week or so (like it's no big deal). I tell them "WAIT A MINUTE!!! ... we need to talk about this, there has to be some other option... I can't do that!! If I pump that long, I'm sure to lose my supply again (with it maybe never to return) we have to find another way". GET THIS!!! The doctor says... well... I'll go get your husband and we'll talk it over! So... she goes to get my husband (and baby) from the waiting room and she shuts the door and then proceeds to say "would you please talk some sense into your wife?? She is talking about neglecting her own medical needs just so she can keep breastfeeding. Would you explain to her that's stupid, formula won't hurt her baby and she needs to make the best decision for her". My husband then says... "what is the big deal... just give the kid a bottle and take care of you" I LOST IT! I told him, I just can't give her a bottle, it's not that simple... if she doesn't nurse, my chances of keeping my supply are very slim, to which he replies "so what... what's worst case scenario... you have to switch to formula??? so what! I think you are a bit mental about his whole breastfeeding thing... she'll be fine without you!!"

I wanted to die , I wanted to smack that witch, I wanted to smack my ignorant husband, and I wanted to grab my baby and run!!!!

Maybe there is something wrong with me mentally.... the thought of having to wean her breaks my heart... she's only FIVE MONTHS old!!! I didn't want to even have these thoughts for AT LEAST another year!

So.. to make a long story short, I took one shot, pumped for 12 hours and now I only take my pain medication when she has gone to bed (she sleeps for about 12 hours), and pump once during the night so that her morning milk is free of any narcotics.

I know I can't possibly be the first mother on this planet that has put up with lots of pain in order to put their baby first... right???

I guess I'm just really sad, and really disappointed in my husband. I thought HE of all people would be the one to stick by my side and support me when push came to shove

[1Plus2]

What a yucky experience. I can't believe your doctor degraded you by going to get your dh to "talk some sense" into you. And I'm sure it was even more difficult to have him take the doctor's side. Have you checked with your local LLL about taking the meds and still nursing? The med you're on may be compatible with bf'ing and still okay for you to continue nursing.

Here's the link for LLL in Alaska:

http://www.lalecheleague.org/Web/Alaska.html

I don't have Dr. Hale's book but I'm sure there are ladies here who do and could help you if you posted the name of your med.

Here's another great link to wonderful articles on formula. Maybe you could print some for your dh to read...if he's willing.

http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/mi...t-formula.html

I hope you are pain and kidney stone free soon!!!

[Icequeen_in_ak]

I called my LLL leader (she's such an amazing woman and has been a godsend to me) and told her the medication (Vicodan sp?) and while they say it's "okay" to take it and nurse, that it just makes the baby sleepy... doesn't work for me (or her really). I don't like the idea of knowing that I'm passing a narcotic drug into my baby. I can put up with the discomfort until it's time for bed and then I really need some relief. I honestly feel like at the end of the day, I've gone through labor in my kidney area every 2 minutes or so since I woke up... not pleasant... but hey.. I lived through ELEVEN days of labor LOL, a little stone can't kill me

Thank you for the article links on formula. I'm going to print them out and then place them on his desk (I'm going out of town on Saturday, so I think I'll leave it on his desk then, to read, while we are out of state :-)

[dotcommama]

OMG! I'm so sorry that you had to go through that.

The only thing I wanted to say is there has to be pain meds that are safe for nursing mothers. I had a c-section with my second child and was offered plenty of pain meds if I wanted them and I was nursing a newborn.

Find a doctor who is supportive and will give you meds that are nursing compatible because there are definitely ones out there.

[pumpkinhead]

Here's another good article for your dh!

http://www.naturalfamilyonline.com/B...ula-report.htm

Oh, and P.S. There's no need to pump and dump! Your body will metabolize the narcotic and remove it both from your blood as well as your breast milk! It won't 'stay' in the BM, so there's no need to remove it! Unless you're pumping in the night for supply issues.

I'm so sorry that you're going thru this, Mama s.

Have they talked to you about sonic treatments to break up the stones? They basically put you in a sonic bath to try to break up the stones using sound waves....I'll see if I can dig up some links!!

here's one!

http://www.bridgeporthospital.org/Pu...p?ArticleID=92

It's called lithroscopy or lithoscopy? Something like that!

[lilyka]

Wow I would definitely find a new Dr. That was just bad. You may even want to report who to who ever one reports such things to. How insulting. Get a second opinion to. You may want to have an LC refer someone.

[ekblad9]

I couldn't read all of the replies but wanted to tell you that I've had kidney stones on more than one occasion while nursing. The doc in the ER always tells me to stop nursing b/c of the medication or whatever. The LC always tell me it's OK. Hang in there mama!

[DaryLLL]

http://www.kellymom.com/health/meds/...html#analgesic

partial list of AAP approved pain meds for nursing women.

[Icequeen_in_ak]

DaryLLL,
I don't see the drug they gave me on this list... it is vicodin.... does that mean that it's harmful to my baby???? YIKES!

What's ironic.. is the drug that they injected me with, that they told me I HAD to pump for at least 12 hours WAS on the list... it was toradol.

As usual...... the sound medical advise that you get in a small town! (an anti breastfeeding town I'm starting to think!)

[MissinNYC]

I just wanted to pop my head in and say that I think maybe your DH deserves a break?
Before you jump on me, I have been in the same situation. My DD was FTT, and my DH wasn't terribly suportive of my continuing to nurse, b/c he was confused and misled by a bad pediatrician, and was understandably scared for DD.
I totally support your wanting to continue to nurse, and I think you are a SAINT for putting up with that pain without meds. I admire your strength and commitment to keeping your DD safe and full of BM. But maybe just remember that your DH just wants to keep his wife safe, and wants to keep you happy and healthy. I don't think most men can understand how deep our connection to our DC is when we are nursing, and how terrifying it is to think about losing that connection. Maybe if you think about him as loving towards you and just wanting you to be happy (albeit erroneously), you would be less upset.
But I get it. I felt angry and dissapointed in my DH when I was in that situation. I just thought my experience might be helpful.
Hope those stones break up FAST!

[bunny's mama]

vicodin does not go thru breastmilk in high enough concentrations to cause harm to a baby. it is the drug most often given after c-sects and for really bad afterpains (i took it for the afterpains myself with both kids).

and i also want to say YOU GO MAMA!!! your baby is soooooo lucky to have a mama who is so determined to do the right thing for her baby even without a bit of support. you are doing the right thing by fighting to continue to breastfeed and you aren't the first mama who has been willing to put up with some pain to nurse her baby safely (altho like i said above, you can relieve the pain AND continue to nurse). so good for you for fighting the fight. your baby will thank you later on.

big (((((hug))))) for you honey!!

[Icequeen_in_ak]

Bunny, Thank you so much!!!! And thank all of the other ladies as well.

It's very reassuring to hear that I'm doing the right thing and that any sacrifices I may make are in the best interest of my babe!

[Meiri]

I'm still thinking what I might be able to suggest that could be useful. Is there another doc you can see, one that respects that you are a fully functioning ADULT with a brain of your own in your own skull? one capable of looking up safer medication options? one with at least one brain cell devoted to imagining alternatives to her cookbook method of treatment? One size does NOT fit all, especially in medicine!

Can you express to your DH just how demeaning that event was? Would he want a doc to do that to him if he was expressing concern about taking a medication? You are not his Child to be taking orders from him.grrrr

Dr. Hale's website: http://neonatal.ttuhsc.edu/lact/ You can look up the meds that have been discussed, maybe yours is there?

[Viola]

Originally posted by Icequeen_in_ak
I called my LLL leader (she's such an amazing woman and has been a godsend to me) and told her the medication (Vicodan sp?) and while they say it's "okay" to take it and nurse, that it just makes the baby sleepy... doesn't work for me (or her really).

I just took Vicodin for a couple of days when I had my abscessed tooth. Hale's says it is a L3 which means moderately safe--watch for apnea episodes and constipation. Since I was taking amoxicillin at the same time, there was no constipation in my baby. It honestly didn't seem to affect her at all, and she is the same age as your little one (or was when I took it).

I'm sorry about your husband. Can't you tell him that switching to formula isn't as easy as it sounds? Even if you want to switch to formula, it is a bit of a change for the baby and she might reject it and be pretty unhappy for awhile. And then you would have engorgement problems if you were to wean cold turkey. It just sounds like your husband isn't considering all the ramifications.

[DaryLLL]

Sorry I wasn't clearer. The link I provided was a partial list of anagesics compatible with bfing. there was also a link to Hale's site on my link.

After my c-sec 18 yrs ago I was given Dilaudid which I later found out is the next best thing to heroin. My baby was as alert as a bunny!

BTW, even morphine (heroin?) is compatible with bfing acc to the link! Your milk is not as likely to have drugs show up in it and pass to yr baby as your placenta is. it is a less permeable barrier.

I think it is outrageous your dr went over yr head and treated you like a child, conspiring with yr dh like that. Where are we, the 1950's? It is even sadeder b/c your dr is a woman. Find another one who understands the importance of bifn.

Sorry if this is inarticulate, I havne't had my coffee yet (speaking of drugs : ).

[schatz]

to you, Icequeen_in_ak

Good for you in holding your ground on bfing -- I hope you can help your dh see the light here.

I've never had kidney stones but I did fight through mastitis, major cracks, yeast, and low supply before it was smooth sailing. You've come this far, no reason you should stop bfing now.

I hope you're feeling better soon and that you have the option of switching docs (probably no small feat in a small town, maybe with an HMO too).

[Raven]

I just wnated to say that I think you are extremely brave and a wonderful mother!!! There aren't many mainstream doctors nowadays that appreciate and truly support breastfeeding and that makes it hard to stand your ground - but you are and your dd is VERY lucky to have you as mer mother!!!

Sending you lots of healing love and support! Keep Stong and dont give up!

[Nate]

Yikes. I can't believe your dr. went to your dh w/o your permission. I believe that's a violation of professional ethics--you could probably file a complaint, if you were so inclined...

They gave me vicodan after my c/s. I'm sure it's fine.

Sounds like your dh needs some gentle education. Can you or someone else (LC or LLLL) sit down and calmly talk to him about why bf is so important? I read your posts about your anti-bf town; he's probably picking up on the atmosphere there w/o even realizing it...

to you, mama...

[Mothra]

I took Vicodin for afterbirth pains after my last two babies and bf them exclusively. I did not bother to pump and dump after taking it. I did not notice any unusual sleepiness in them, but it did make me tired and when I slept, they slept. Maybe I just slept through it? Anyway, it is taken by a lot of women who nurse. That doens't mean that YOU have to be comfortable with taking it, but it isn't as dire a situation as your doctor suggested.

It sounds like both this doctor and your husband need to have a little bit of respect for you. I would have been FURIOUS if any doctor ever suggested that we "bring in your husband to talk about it". Don't use up energy you don't have worrying about them right now. Take care of yourself and your baby. There is no reason to wean in the situation you described. Keep nursing that baby!

[cat_astrophe]

The doctor says... well... I'll go get your husband and we'll talk it over! So... she goes to get my husband (and baby) from the waiting room and she shuts the door and then proceeds to say "would you please talk some sense into your wife??"

WTH?!?!?! I would have been SSSOOOO royally p*ssed at that statement! That is disgusting and demeaning. You are an adult responsible for your own medical decisions. The doctor had NO RIGHT to discuss it with your DH.

Sorry, that just irked me. I really hope you find some relief, and I agree that you are one amazing mama to go through all of this to nurse your baby.