2 under 2

[suddenlyamama]

Do you thinking having children very close together is a huge challenge? I really don't want them to be many years apart. Both DH and I come from families where our siblings are far apart in age and there is a huge loss in family dynamic because of it.

Obviously all things must be taken into consideration such as income, time, etc. 

I am just curious from those who have btdt or wish they would have (or wouldn't have for that matter)

[fnpmama]

My boys are 12 mths apart, and I would not reccomend that close.  They are 18mths and 30mths now and things have gotten a bit easier but the first year was rough.  I think 18mths or more would have been better.   Of course when they are 5 and 6 and do all the same things and are best friends I might forget about the the craziness and exhaustion of the past 2 years...but I might not.

Edited by fnpmama - 11/14/10 at 5:57pm

[Xerxella]

Mine are 25 months apart and we've had really no problems. 

[Katie T]

I have 2 that are 6 yrs apart and 2 that are 21 months apart and I love love love the closer age gap. They love each other so much and it has been busy and there are some rough moments but it is so worth it and hasn't been as hard as I had imagined. We coslept from the beginning (and still do) and I would do it again in a heart beat! A sling was a life saver as well. Any other questions just ask.

Also, our income is very tight and even with one being a boy and the other being a girl it was cheaper in the end than the two that are farther apart in age because I still had everything and carseats were not expired ect. I did cloth diaper so had to in diapers but didn't have to fork out the money for disposables. I say go for it!

[elisheva]

Right now my kids are 3, 2, and 1 for the next 4 weeks. :) First two are 20 months apart. Ds2 and dd are 14 months apart. It has been hard. But, you know what? You adapt. Your standards fall a little (house is clean but almost never tidy, there is always a pile of dirty laundry to wash and pile a clean to put away, sometimes kids aren't *pristine* when we go out, I only shower every 2 days :)

I couldn't do this to infinity, though. We are D.O.N.E. :) after this baby is born (dd and baby#4 will be 19 months apart). But, it has been doable for the most part. We had intended to put 18+months between each one of them, but things don't always go as planned. The hardest thing for me was the loss of ds2's babyhood. My milk dried up when he was 7 months old and we had to go to formula - he nursed through and is still nursing. I've been able to coddle and dote on dd (who was 11 months when I got preg) with more energy than ds2 got :(

A big factor in our decision to space closely was DH's age (40 this year). I know 40 isn't geriatric and there are plenty of examples of older dads out there. 

[zjande]

A huge challenge? Yes. But totally absolutely worth it in the long run? Yes.

My brother & I are 6 yrs apart. I had my 1st kids 6 yrs, then 8 yrs apart. Then I had 3 kids within 4 years. There's no comparison for me, I would always choose a close spacing now. My kids play & learn from each other every day. It's awesome.

[Kindermama]

Our last two are 16.5 months apart. Challenging?.. heck yes! In all ways but one, I would do it differently! That "one" is the fact that they are best buds now and play so well together! It's so sweet but it came at a cost! Ideally, I think 3-4 years apart would be ideal for us! We were just so sleep-deprived and it took a toll on our marriage and family life. I always say "I had two babies" at one time...which is really the truth! I'm sad that my 3rd child missed out on extended bf'ing (my milk dried up in month 4 of the pregnancy) and also our connection was a "threesome". I couldn't be there just for her...she missed out on all that one-on-one that my others got! 

[Mom2SammyJoe]

My two are 25 months apart, and I can't imagine what I would have done having them closer. At 3 1/2 and 1 1/2, things are getting a bit easier, as they do play together some now. I don't know. We probably want more children, but we are thinking of a second round. Ideally, we will have the next one when DS starts going to kindergarten, and maybe, we'll have another 2 years after that. I can't imagine being home with 3 littles all day!

[forumyonly1]

my first two are 26 months apart.. that was a nice age gap but ds1 is autistic so i think any closer would have been pretty tough..  ds2 and ds3 are 14 months apart and i love it! they entertain each other and are best friends! i didnt really have any problems with it when they were younger either..  it can be tiring for sure! but i love it! ds3 and dd are 22 months apart and that age difference is fine.. bute the middle two are by far the closest.. in more ways than one! :)

[miss_honeyb]

I have a 7 year gap between DD1 and DS1 (who is actually DS2 because we lost a little boy in between there). My youngest 3 are all spaced approx. 20 months apart. I LOVE IT!!!!

We are going through a challenging time with my two boys right now, fighting a lot....BUT, I really think it's an age/stage thing. In almost every way, I am glad to have them close together. I've had two in diapers a couple times, been tandem nursing forever, cosleeping with 1-2 kids, but those have all been beautiful (and yes, challenging) things. These three little ones share so much with each other, love to play and learn and be little children together. DD1 loves them a lot but she's going on 12 years old and really missed out on having a close sibling playmate.

I think when your in the midst of several small children close in age, it can feel like CRAZINESS. But as they get older, you will see the beautiful relationships they have formed and feel that it was worth it. Plus, (and I think this is a lesser point but valid nonetheless), if you're going to be sleep deprived, just commit to being insanely sleep deprived for several years and then be done with it! Same with diapers! I kind of have the attitude that "diapers, many small bodies in bed with me, messes, interruptions, sleep deprivation, etc. are MY LIFE right now! And in a few years, that will all be OVER and we'll be in a new and wonderful world of having the 3 Amigos running around together, best of buds."

[jillybeans]

Originally Posted by zjande 

A huge challenge? Yes. But totally absolutely worth it in the long run? Yes.

This.

My first two are 2yrs 4mo apart, and I loved that gap.  dd2 and dd3 were supposed to be 18mo apart but ended up 17mo because dd3 was premature.  The preemie thing is what I believe made it most difficult. 

Since then, we've added a foster daughter.  So now we have (all girls) 5yo (today!!), 2.5, 2.5, 15months.  They are the BEST OF FRIENDS!  It makes my heart swell every time I walk in the room to giggles and a big messy pile of toddler. lol! 

Hopefully the next one will be about 2yrs after dd3.  That seems to be easier on my body.