Preparing a really young sibling for HB?

[babymango]

DS will only be 17 months old around my "due date" (15 mo now).   I want to follow his cues and let him watch/participates in the HB if he wants to, but we will have someone at home whose role will be only to take care of him in case. 

I tried faking contractions, "mooing", moving my hips, all the things i did when i was in labor the first time around.  He really didn't pay attention (not that I expected him to, but I thought he would at least notice something was different)

Is there any point in showing him HB videos? 

Should I just let things go and see how he does the day of?

How did you prepare your young toddler for a HB?

Any tip would be more than welcome...

[JamieCatheryn]

Mine just turned 3 when his brother was born so I'm not sure if it's comparable, but the main thing from his perspective will likely be you aren't available, someone else will need to give him attention and play with him, get him what he needs and he can't have you while you're busy birthing the baby. I don't think the goings on of labor and birth will be as much an issue to him as that will. Having him play with the person assigned to watch him during the birth and get used to having someone else with him may help. No harm in showing nice homebirth videos and showing him how mommy makes silly noises while she works hard to get the baby out, how happy and exciting it is to meet the brand new baby.

[kawa kamuri]

My youngest will be about 20m when this LO is born. I don't know how much she'll understand, all of mine have been 3y and older when they became a big brother/sister. If I'm 2m away from birth and she doesn't take interest I'll let it drop, I think. It's almost incomprehensible to me so I don't really expect someone so young to understand :)

[thebeljur]

I don't know if there's a lot you can do for that age.  I don't think it will hurt to show him a few videos, but I wouldn't expect much.  Do you have a video of your birth with him?  Maybe show him that so he can see you actually in labor.  Really, though, I don't think there's much in the way of preparation at that age.  How he reacts will probably just depend on his toddler mood at that time -- lol.  I do think it's a great idea that you do some pretend labor behavior.  That's a neat idea.

[babymango]

Originally Posted by thebeljur 

How he reacts will probably just depend on his toddler mood at that time -- lol. 

That's pretty much how I feel.   I think i'll just stop worrying about it ;)

[Marissamom]

DD is almost 18 months, will be 21-22 months when the baby is born. some stuff she seems to kind of get, like we talk a lot about how there's a baby in mama's belly, and she gives the baby kisses and a couple times has "shared" her food with the baby. but I'm not sure how we're going to prepare for the actual birth yet. we have been talking about how when the baby gets bigger it will come out of mama's belly and live with us. we did watch the movie babies together last week, and during the beginning talked about how the babies were coming out of their mama's bellies. and I am planning on showing her some birth videos. 

[tracymom1]

My son was 22 months old when DD was born at home.  We talked about what would happen during labor and how mama would act, about the sounds, the blood, the fact that I would not be able to hold him or interact much... he seemed to understand a bit... but when it came down to it, he really had no interest in what was actually happening.  He was, however, VERY concerned about the 'swimming pool' in the middle of the living room!!!!  He still talks about that - and doesn't seem to remember anything else about that day (except that Grandmom and Aunt Julie were here, too).  

I think every kid is different and that is why it is so important to have a support person there just for them - someone they know and love and feel completely comfortable with.  When DS would come and "check" on me he did not seem to mind any of the noise or strange behavior, but surely another child of that age might be rather disturbed by seeing mommy in such a position.  TBH, I would doubt that birth videos would have much of an impact because at that age I just don't think they put all the pieces together just yet.  I think talking about it is more important.

Happy birthing!

[Marcy&Dono]

My son is 2 years and 9 months or so... I'm due in 1 month. My main concern with him is him getting scared about me making noise or being in pain, so I've tried to talk to him about that.  He ended up watching part of Orgasmic Birth with me (I was watching during nap time, then he woke up and came to sit next to me to watch).  He was really interested, and I talked him through how the women were making noises because they're having to work really hard to get the baby out, and he seemed fascinated by actually seeing the babies come out.  I don't know what that will mean in terms of how he'll handle the actual birth though, lol...  We will hopefully have my mom here to help entertain him if he's not dealing well with me laboring, and also have some friends who've agreed to take him if needed be.

[donutmolly]

DD2 was 19 mo when DD3 was born, and honestly, I didn't do anything special to prepare her for the birth.  I was working on preparing DD1 who was 4yo, so we did read some new baby books and watch birth videos together, but I'm pretty sure nothing really got through. 

It didn't end up mattering anyway, both DD1 and 2 slept through the entire birth, which was a huge blessing since their support person didn't make it until after the birth either... I'd just make sure to have someone who will focus on your toddler and see how it all goes at the time.

[LadyJennifer]

My dd was 23 1/2 months when ds was born. I talked to her about what would happen beforehand. I also showed her some youtube videos of birth. She loved them! She was great throughout the labor (30 hours). I had my sister over so she could focus on her. But Emma was so sweet and unconcerned even when I got loud. She came and held my hand, looked for the baby in the water (I was in the tub), and was super excited when Noah was born. I loved having her there.

[pearl2]

For my 17 mo LO, I will show her some videos of homebirths (since I'm watching anyway) and make a big deal cooing over the baby. She loves pointing out babies and gets excited whenever she sees one. Then closer toward the birth I will explain in simple terms what is going on. I am not sure if she will indeed be at the actual birth or not, but maybe at least she won't be as confused as to who this baby is when she does get back home.