Family rules/meetings

[mama*pisces]

I was wondering if anyone does family meetings, and what they typically look/sound like. :-) Our ds is 4, and the reason I want to start doing them is that there seems to be a lack of rhythm in our household....he rarely wants to help with much of anything, and I want to start getting him used to a routine of maybe choosing at least one way to help me per day. Plus I want to create a safe space where we can all sit down together, to hopefully increase our connection and understanding of each other.

Also, I would love to hear some examples of family rules, because I think it's important to have those established and posted somewhere. Thanks. :-)

[ssh]

We have family rules. They're pretty simple though; If some one says stop or no, you have to stop,  and treat each other with respect. These two simple rules imply lots of things including not being rude when you're angry, apologizing, being quiet if some one is sleeping, don't watch some one do all the work, don't climb on daddy unless he's ok with that, don't brush someones hair without permission, don't shout at people when you feel bad. We've taught manners through modeling. DD, now almost 5, just started wanting to be helpful around 3.5. If we ask and she says no about helping it isn't a big deal, but she usually helps. We don't have family meetings yet, but we do have family time where we are all together doing something fun. It may not be something for your family but on a daily basis we usually play a wii or ps3 game together or watch a movie all snuggled up on the sofa after dinner. We also like doing yard-work, shopping and hiking together.

[Kidzaplenty]

[mama*pisces]

Nobody does family meetings??

[BellinghamCrunchie]

We tried family meetings (DD is 5). They kind of petered out, because we were having trouble finding things to talk about, and DD was terribly bored with them for some reason (even though they only lasted 7 minutes and we gave her something to do while we were having them). We were having them once a week.

It really seemed that everything we would address would come up during dinner,anyways.

[velochic]

We eat dinner together every night and talk.  Things don't ever add up to need a family meeting.

[HollyBearsMom]

It is just the 3 of us so family meetings never really worked. The dynamic never felt right with 2 adults and one child. Plus it was too formal for our liking. 

Instead most lighter topics are covered at meal times since we all eat dinner together.  We might talk about household projects that need to be done, family vacation plans, what to do for the weekend, meal planning etc during this time.  I like meal times to be stress free and relaxed.

More serious subjects- like when my mom got sick, misbehavior, school troubles etc are either talked about round table fashion or one of us might lie down with him and talk before bed.

Family "rules" are done round table too, on an as needed basis.  ie: when he got an Itouch and we got Wii. We all weighed in on what the expectations were/are.

So as you can see we don't have formal/scheduled meetings but still plenty of talking gets done!

[Lisa1970]

We just had a family meeting last night.

I spelled out the issue and made it clear it would not repeat. But my children are older, and I had discussed this with them before so I was pretty ticked at the time. They keep getting food out in the kitchen and carrying it around the house and leaving it. My dh has been too. I am tired of living in a messy house. They never even clean up things they spill. Then it is hardened by the time I find it.

Rules here at 4....no eating outside the kitchen. no getting food out without asking first, flush the toilet when done, wash hands when done, etc. My children get small chores at this age. So, he might get asked to carry the little trash cans around the house to the kitchen for me and then carry them back. I try to come up with something small like that each day to instill good habits. Maria Montessori also taught that kids should be given real life applications and self care, etc. Oh, dirty clothes put in the basket, etc.