talk to me about 3 kids

[NicaG]

We're expecting #3 in July, and I'm starting to freak out a little.  Anyone want to share the good, the bad, and the ugly?  Any tips for making life with 3 run smoothly?  Is it ever possible to leave all 3 with a babysitter? Hardest things about 3?  Nicest things about 3?  Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated.

[oneluvmama]

Listening closely... ! #3 due in June. :)

[leigh09]

My friend told me the third baby is the easiest:

the first was hard because honestly, we had no idea what we were doing.  we thought we did, but still had to figure it all out.

the second was hard because we were trying to figure out how on earth to keep one child busy while nursing a baby

the third time is the charm.  we're confident moms.  we can handle newborns without problem.  and no need to worry about the oldest two -- they keep each other busy.

she was right with my three.  third time was the easiest.  an added plus ... my oldest two kids acted as go-getters for me while nursing, they would get me anything i would ask them for (that was within their reach).  the baby swing and sling both were great in serving as a second set of hands when ds was an infant.  

you can do it!!!  and congrats on the pregnancy!

[cappuccinosmom]

Your kids will be a little older than my two older ones were when I had my third baby.

I have to say, it took me about a year before I felt like I had a grip on things.  Mine were 4, 2, and newborn, so we had a *lot* of neediness.  It seemed like the third just added to that exponentially.  It was three kids to completely dress, shoe, feed, and get out the door, then three kids to buckle in, and three kids to wrangle wherever we went.

Now, my older two can dress themselves, and get their own shoes on, and buckle themselves into the car, and don't require "wrangling" anymore.  THey can feed themselves too if they need to, and entertain themselves well.I think it would have been a lot easier if they'd been these ages when #3 comes along.

That said, we all love the third one, no matter how hard it was that first year.  He was a new personality, and changed the family dynamic for the better.  We'd be sorely lacking if we didn't have him.  He was totally worth the hassle and I'd do it over again in a heartbeat. I'm glad he's so close in age to his brothers, because now that he's 3 years old, he's able to join in with them and add to the fun. 

[shahjehan]

Congratulations on your pregnancy!  I don't have any experience with going from two to three, but we had three kids in 21 months.  I think the adjustment going from one to more is the same, though.  The idea of dividing your attention and time.  At least with my friends who had their second at the same time that I had my twins, we all were learning how to focus on more than one little person.  Three kids is just dividing it up even more.  I imagine that the adjustment would be a little less intense since you already know how to divide up your time.

Your kids will be able to do some of their self-care by the time this one arrives, and that will help a bit.  The physical demands of three kids nursing and in diapers is VERY intense . 

I had a friend use a football analogy that in going from two to three kids you and your partner go from "man on man" to "zone" defense.  With two kids you can divide and conquer with you partner, and each child can get their needs met one on one.  With three it is a bit trickier if they all need you at once.  There isn't enough to go around at times.

That said, I feel a lot more confident as a mother of three kids.  I didn't get to experience three pregnancies and births and three newborns one at a time (which I am a little sad about at times), but I feel like I can balance the needs of my kids well.  I have street credibility!

Jehan

[starlein26]

The hardest thing for me is the HIGH level of demand and the daily chaos. I stay home, and we homeschool, so my days are BUSY. Busy doesn't even do it justice. Getting out of the house is a mental/physical challenge (one child is ALWAYS against the idea and the fighting/defiance ensues). It's extremely hard to gain three children's cooperation for outings at all times. I found it was an easier dynamic with two. I may also have some unusually defiant and sensitive children that make parenting a daily challenge. Ugh. The other hard thing is that one on one time with a child is gone when both parents are home. My dh and I miss the one and one with 2 kids. Now, one parent always has 2 to entertain (if not 3).

The nice thing is to catch loving interactions between them. My oldest can be so cute with his littlest sister (when she isn't running of with his stuff!) and my girls are just.now.starting to really play together!

Overall it's an odd dynamic, at least compared to 2 kids. But like anything else, when you don't have a choice, you get used to it.

[dmpmercury]

The hardest part of going to 2-3 was the extra work of getting out the door, the extra laundry and the kids adjusting and acting out. When you go on outings it is can be harder because there are 3that may need you or could act up. The part that isn't too bad is that the older kids do keep themselves entertained better and you do have more experience. I have found that each adjustment was about the same. It was just as hard to go from 0-1 then 1-2 as it was to go from 2-3 for me. Each had their own difficulties. My second was my hardest baby and did not sleep and nursed 24/7. This time my ds is a harder toddler to deal with but the baby is easier to take care of.

[becoming]

Just expect a LOT more noise & chaos, and you'll be well prepared

[77sugaree]

Originally Posted by leigh09 

My friend told me the third baby is the easiest:

the first was hard because honestly, we had no idea what we were doing.  we thought we did, but still had to figure it all out.

the second was hard because we were trying to figure out how on earth to keep one child busy while nursing a baby

the third time is the charm.  we're confident moms.  we can handle newborns without problem.  and no need to worry about the oldest two -- they keep each other busy.

she was right with my three.  third time was the easiest.  an added plus ... my oldest two kids acted as go-getters for me while nursing, they would get me anything i would ask them for (that was within their reach).  the baby swing and sling both were great in serving as a second set of hands when ds was an infant.  

you can do it!!!  and congrats on the pregnancy!

I am due with # 3 in May so THANK YOU for this!

[Peony]

2 to 3 was no big deal for us. More noise, more mess, more everything but it was easy compared to the previous adjustments of adding a child. We don't really go out so I can't help with that one, DH and I tend to go out separately once in a while, leaving one of us home.

[berry987]

I have three boys - ages 6, 4 and 2. Yes, the noise. There just seems to be a lot of it. And shoes, jackets, underpants...all dirty, all strewn about. No one seems to flush the toilet and there are huge chunks of playdo imbedded in the rugs because I just lose track of who has what. I try to maintain order and peace in the house, but it is an uphill battle - there are just so many needs all the time. Everyone needs everything at the same time and my oldest is just starting to do some things on his own (take a shower, get a drink for himself, help set the table). The other two? Cute...but useless. And they wrestle and fight a lot.

On the upside - the more the merrier. They laugh and play and hang out together. They look out for each other and the older two are always helping their baby brother with things. The good is obvious - your heart gets bigger with each child you have. The bad is probably obvious also - the more kids, the more work. But it's worth it.

Good luck!!

Just wanted to add - we do get babysitters pretty often. We usually schedule it so they arrive around 6:30 and only have about 30 minutes with the kids before they start bedtime (the kids go to bed by 7:30 in our house). Most 16-17 year olds can handle three kids for short periods of time. 

[Sharlla]

I have a 12 year old, 5 year old and 10 month old. It works out pretty well, they both adore their baby sister and she loves the attention they give here.