Older toys, younger kids

[petitchou]

I want to get ds1 (4) Tinkertoys and a marble run for Christmas.  He loves mazes, things that spin and roll and sticking pieces together and these are both toys he's loved at other people's houses.  I'm so excited because I know he will love these!

My parents have asked for gift ideas but will not buy him either of those things because they are worried about ds2, who will be 18 months in December, and the little pieces.   They think we should wait until he is older.  We would obviously not leave things lying around and always use them under supervision.  The marbles would probably be naptime only toys.  Ds1 also has his own room right now and can shut the door when he plays with  things he doesn't want his little brother to mess with.

Should I be more worried about this?  Obviously, I don't mind my parents getting something different - ds has a looong list of wants :) - but now I'm wondering if I'm supposed to wait on those kinds of toys until the little one is older?  We are also thinking about a third and I can't imagine never buying anything with small parts until all kids in the family are old enough.

[LaughingHyena]

I found small building sets OK as DD was happy to play with them at the table, which kept her out of DSs way. We also used a stair gate between two rooms to giver her a place to play where she could still see and hear me but DS couldn't get into her stuff.

I think providing the older child understands that the younger one can not have the small parts it's OK.

Even now both kids are old enough to  play I only let them have a couple of marbles each at a time, it makes it so much easier to keep track of them.

[crunchy_mommy]

LOL well Tinkertoys are on my 21mo's list!! That's pretty funny :) DS loves the ones at the children's museum. Anyway, I think it really depends on the kid -- what is your 18mo like? Does he put everything in his mouth still? Is he a 'good gagger' as I like to call DS (he won't swallow something he can't handle)... How realistic is it that marbles won't EVER travel out of his room or get lost under the sofa for DS2 to find?

I would be reluctant on the marbles... only because even as an adult I feel like *I* could choke on one if I put it in my mouth. They are just so smooth & slippery... and keeping them all in one place, under supervision, & not losing any sounds nearly impossible to me. I wouldn't personally worry about most other small parts though.

[nextcommercial]

I misunderstood your post at first.  I thought he was one year old.  But, he's #1 son, and four years old. 

I would definitely  let him have that.  Your 18 month old probably wouldn't choke on them, because 18 months is pretty old.  But, I could see him sticking the tinker toy sticks in his mouth and getting hurt.  But, if you are nearby, you can put a stop to that.  Then, if the toys aren't just lying all over the house, your 18 month old will have some nifty hand me down toys in a few years.

I have a daycare, and I don't let the little kids use the marbles, but I do let them use the tinkertoys.

[Owen'nZoe]

We had both in the house when my children were the age of your kids - and legos, too. Really, many of the cool, open-ended toys for 4 year olds are going to pose a hazard to a little one. You just have to be careful and teach the older child to pick up after themself. In our case, my older son would scream bloody murder anytime his little brother came near his toys. The positive spin on this was that there was little chance of the toddler getting something he shouldn't be playing with without me knowing.

[tabrizia]

DS is probably getting a marble run this year and a couple of other toys not appropriate for a baby.  DD is 20 months old.  I'm not actually worried about her.  She is less likely to put things in her mouth then DS.  That being said, we will have a newborn in the house shortly after DD turns 2 and before DS turns 4.  So the toys are going to live in DS' room.  That way he and DD can play with them and we can keep them out of the common area so the baby won't be able to get to them easily until they are old enough that I won't be worried about it.  There are very few toys I am really worried about having around a newborn or infant, but those I am will be kept in bedrooms.  It is really unfair to restrict DS' toys based on the developmental stage that his little brother 4 years younger then him may be in, or even what his sister 2 years younger might be into.

[pianojazzgirl]

I have dc who are 3 yrs apart.  There have been times when, yes, I passed over buying dd something with tiny pieces because I didn't want ds getting into them.  BUT that's because for ME it would have made life too difficult to keep little one and small pieces apart.  That's my issue (laziness?).  I certainly don't think there is anything inherently wrong or dangerous about your older kiddo having toys like that.  If you are able to keep the toddler safe (and it won't make you mental constantly being on high alert look-out for marbles on the floor) then I think it's fantastic that older dc has some toys like that to play with that he really loves.

[Dukey25]

My 7 yr old ds would love a marble run but sadly I feel I have to skip it because my 2 yr old puts everything in his mouth and marbles are just too dangerous. But when my middle child was 2 it would have been a non issue, she didn't put everything in her mouth. I think it is your call based on the kids and how well everything gets put away. Sadly in my house we are bad about controlling toys and them getting put away and we have a child who would try and eat anything and everything.

[St. Margaret]

DD is 3.5 and has sooo many toys with tiny pieces.  We know once this baby is born and mobile we'll have to have a system, but the cat is totally out of the bag!  We've started thinking about having a special area where a toddler can't get, or having them all up in her room (less helpful as DS will be in there too sometimes, like when I shower...).  We have a small house and two stories so it's tricky but we'll work it out.  Some things might get rotated more so DD can have an area for small toys, but she's had tiny pieces since she was... hmm before 2 for sure, she loved playing with playmobil already and never ever mouthed them.  In fact, it's been since she turned 3 that we've had to say over and over again about things in mouths.  So we'll just see what the next babe does and adapt as needed.

[petitchou]

So I'm not the only one - I feel much better!  The way my parents reacted I thought maybe I was the only mother to consider such a thing...

Ds2 is pretty good about not mouthing everything but he does go through phases.  I'm not really worried about the Tinkertoys - I would have gotten them last year had I not gone through the exact same reaction with my parents (who are wonderful grandparents but very very protective of their grandchildren!) and it seemed wise then since ds2 was 6 months and just starting to crawl.  I think I may make one of those mats with the elastic around the edge that you play on and then pick up - might make clean up more fun and easier for ds1.  Ds2 is also starting to be interested in sticking things in holes - we've just pulled out the lacing beads - so he may love the Tinkertoys just as much as ds1.  The marbles are more of a concern but I plan to only pull out one or two at a time and make sure they are put away immediately.  I figure if it starts to be a big problem, we'll just put it away until a little later. 

We also know well beforehand when the little guy gets anywhere near his older brother's stuff.  Whenever he gets within a 5 foot radius, we hear 'NO, ds2, NO!  That's MINE!' followed by an anguished scream from the little one because his brother had the nerve to tell him 'no'...

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by petitchou 

I think I may make one of those mats with the elastic around the edge that you play on and then pick up - might make clean up more fun and easier for ds1. 

What are these?  Can you maybe give me a link?  I might be interested.....anything that makes clean up easier is a godsend in my book, but I've never heard of these!!