Congrats on your twins! I can say that I honestly know how you feel -- I have 10 month old twins. I was in your place not too long ago! I have an 11 yr old and a 9 yr old (they were 10 and 8 back in January, though.)
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First, you need to know that your life as it is now will not be the same in a week... or in two weeks... or in a month, and certainly not in three more months or six months. The first month with twins is VERY hard. And every week, things got better, and then, every month, better. Even now, they are getting better day by day.
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I remember days when I realized suddenly that I had not even seen or spoken much to my older boys (who were being cared for mainly by my husband and my MIL.) I remember one day vividly that I realized I had not had a chance to talk with the older boys, I went looking for them to hug them, and discovered they were asleep in bed. Oh my, did I cry... I just felt so, so bad. I missed them in the midst of nursing, pumping, and caring for two tiny babies.
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We also school all year round, mostly, and I had told the kids that we would take off three months when the babies were born. I figured that school kids get three months in the summer totally off, it will not kill my kids to have a break. In the end, we started learning together sooner than that, but we didn't do any school for at least two months.
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Your kids ARE learning so much, just by being there. I involved my kids to help with the babies, hold the babies. We talked about what the babies could understand, what they couldn't. They learned practical life skills, that many never learn! And I just today read about a study, on kindness ? that found that children who spent time with babies were kinder. What a lesson that is! (Here is the study I read: http://www.amotherinisrael.com/babies-bullies/ )
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I was sure, SURE, that my kids would be a little behind when we started learning again. (I don't mean behind peers in school, I mean that they would forget what they learned and need to start a little further back than where we were.) But you know what happened? My then 8 yr old was reading BETTER after the break... both boys were suddenly much better at math than they were before.
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Part of that might be all the Pokeman they were playing ;-) But I also think that their brains simmered and that helped. And they grew up more, became more mature, and both of them changed in some ways, just from becoming big brothers to these tiny, tiny babies.
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I hope this helps you feel better --- PLEASE do not put any pressure on yourself, and no guilt... !! The most important thing for you to do is rest (when you can, I know THAT is hard, but do your best to do it when you can), be forgiving of yourself when you can't do it all (because you can't because it is impossible -- I tried, I got pneumonia when the babies were two months old -- don't do that to yourself!), and enjoy your twins when you can.
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And if you need to talk to someone who gets it, please do PM me or email me. :)
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Rachel
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