coping with a car screamer

[porcelina]

My 7 week old is not good in the car. I hear stories about babies who sleep in the car, and I wonder how that is possible. I've only had car screamers!

DS2 (almost 3) goes to a babysitter who is about 20 minutes away. We take him that far because it is a great car provider who has her own child who is his little buddy. He loves it there. DH is helping tremendously with him, and is picking him up 3 days of the week, but not sure how long he can keep that up. Even just twice a week, it's awful for me -- 20 minutes screaming on the way there, and then 20 minutes on the way back. I worry about all those stress hormones and how damaging this can be! Does anyone have thoughts on how to make this better??

[slerch215]

I wish I knew! My 11 week old is hit or miss... but normally he screams bloody murder.

The advice Ive been told is that they grow out of it eventually. Not very helpful now though : (

[P.J.]

Originally Posted by porcelina 

My 7 week old is not good in the car. I hear stories about babies who sleep in the car, and I wonder how that is possible. I've only had car screamers!

DS2 (almost 3) goes to a babysitter who is about 20 minutes away. We take him that far because it is a great car provider who has her own child who is his little buddy. He loves it there. DH is helping tremendously with him, and is picking him up 3 days of the week, but not sure how long he can keep that up. Even just twice a week, it's awful for me -- 20 minutes screaming on the way there, and then 20 minutes on the way back. I worry about all those stress hormones and how damaging this can be! Does anyone have thoughts on how to make this better??

Whoa! Your 3 year old still screams in the car? I guess since this is the baby forum we don't get the toddler mamas to update, but most people here have said they grow out of it. If your 3 y.o. is screaming in the car, I assume he's somewhat verbal, so can you talk to him about it afterwards and ask what it is he hates about the car? I would assume you could work with a three year old on this at least somewhat.

As for babies, mine was also a car screamer but it's gotten so much better -he's 5.5 months now and it started getting better around 4 months. He still gets fussy sometimes, but it's been awhile since we've had full-blown screaming. Also, I'm usually in the car with DH driving and me in back with DS, and I realized I can actually nurse him. It's very uncomfortable and not as safe...I scoot to the middle seat and pull my seatbelt over so it's only covering my lap....but hey it stops the fussing and often gets him to sleep. I am hoping the fussing mostly stops soon though because I am not very pleased with the car nursing arrangement.

All I can say is, hang in there, it gets better. But if your 3 y.o. is still a car screamer I guess maybe not always......???

[Schae]

My reply is the same as the one I've quoted, except my babe is 8 weeks old.

Lets hope it gets better!
 

Originally Posted by slerch215 

I wish I knew! My 11 week old is hit or miss... but normally he screams bloody murder.

The advice Ive been told is that they grow out of it eventually. Not very helpful now though : (

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

I think she was saying that the 7 week old screams when she drives the 3yo across town.  I too had a car screamer, and tried everything to help her calm down.  I'm pleased to report something actually WORKED! We bought a convertible car seat - a True Fit - and since we use that, she sleeps every single trip we take.  She HATED her bucket seat, a Chicco Keyfit 30 for some reason, and screamed non stop and would not sleep. Ever. We took a 1.5 hour trip that took us 3 hours with all the side of the road stops we had to make.  Since the new carseat, she still hates getting strapped in, and sometimes cries for a few minutes when we are getting going, but she always falls asleep every trip unless it's less than 10 minutes.  DH and I were talking about it last night - it feels like a miracle. DD is 7 months and we got the new carseat 1 month ago - it has an infant insert and can be used with newborns. HTH!

[Knitting Mama]

For us, it was just a matter of waiting it out, unfortunately. Cecilia hated the carseat from birth, and it wasn't until she was 3-4 months old that it got better. Now at 7 months she's fine in the car unless she's overly tired, but it was pretty hellish for a while there. We tried everything-- a convertible carseat, music, loud music, no music, white noise, lighted toys, mirrors, windows down...you name it, we tried it. The only thing that helped, and this was only 50/50, was me sitting back there with her (which I still do now when it's both my husband and I in the car). So unfortunately, with some kids, you just have to wait it out. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but it's how it went for us. I severely limited the distance I was willing to drive with her alone until things started to get better.

[NicolleLynne]

Originally Posted by 1stTimeMama4/4/10 

I think she was saying that the 7 week old screams when she drives the 3yo across town.  I too had a car screamer, and tried everything to help her calm down.  I'm pleased to report something actually WORKED! We bought a convertible car seat - a True Fit - and since we use that, she sleeps every single trip we take.  She HATED her bucket seat, a Chicco Keyfit 30 for some reason, and screamed non stop and would not sleep. Ever. We took a 1.5 hour trip that took us 3 hours with all the side of the road stops we had to make.  Since the new carseat, she still hates getting strapped in, and sometimes cries for a few minutes when we are getting going, but she always falls asleep every trip unless it's less than 10 minutes.  DH and I were talking about it last night - it feels like a miracle. DD is 7 months and we got the new carseat 1 month ago - it has an infant insert and can be used with newborns. HTH!

This worked for us as well... We switched from a Graco SnugRide infant seat to a Britex Boulevard 70 convertible seat and the difference was instantaneous! Now my sweet one drifts off almost as soon as the engine starts. I can't pinpoint why exactly but she does seem to be much more "cozy" in the new seat. Another cool thing about the Britex, it can be used rear facing from 5-40lbs. and forward facing up to 70, so it will most likely be the last seat DD needs until she's ready to graduate to a booster.

Good luck Mama!

[ShanaV]

I also have car screamers. Two of em at once. The biggest thing that worked was they got older. >.> Sucks to just have to wait. At about 5 months old they suddenly stopped hating the car so much. Before that the only thing that worked was me or my mom sitting in between them to keep them pacified and occupied. When they got interested in toys I hung up the singing froggie and that helped too. But the best thing was someone there with them, and age. Still no help for you, who has to drive without another adult to drop off DS at the daycare! Really sucks!

[bri276]

It's awful, isn't it?  :(  When DH is driving I bring a bottle of pumped milk, but if I'm driving there's no solution.  I keep trying to teach her how to take a paci but it's a no go.

DD1 hates the car, too, but by the time she was a year old or so she would calm down a ton from music she liked.

[porcelina]

Sorry for the confusion, yes drive across town with baby in the car to pick up toddler, 40 mins round trip.

Actually, toddler was a screamer when he was a baby too, and we did switch to the convertible early, at around 12 weeks I think. I don't think it helped 100 percent, but it did help a bit, as I recall. I think it's time to get it out! I also have tried the music and white noise, etc., and nothing helps! We even got a new bucket seat this time around (other was expired anyway) and I looked for something cozy -- got snugride32. Oh well!! Have to go look for the infant head support for our Britax!!

Thanks everyone!!

[TreeRose]

Have an 11 week-old screamer myself (hard to believe she's 11 weeks! wow... just hit me)... she's gotten SO much better but it can still be hit or miss as well. Usually if she wakes up and can't fall back to sleep, she's miserable. If we're minutes from home and she's hungry, those are the longest minutes of my life. When I'm in the back seat I lean over and hug on her and try to make her feel like I'm holding her. Yesterday she grabbed my nose in my mouth while I did this and thought it was funny - til she remembered she was supposed to be screaming! Lol.

She does sleep though, so I don't think it's the car seat for her (Chicco Key fit)... although as soon as we strap her in, she screams. Hates being confined. Hates being on her back too... what's the difference between the car seats? Do the others sit up straighter? I tried to figure that out by looking at images but I'm just not sure...

[mamaladd]

Oh...i totally feel you!

My lo is 6 months and is still not a fan of the car.  I too, severely limit the driving I do.  Which makes us both a little stir crazy.

He's definitely better than he was.  We had the graco snugride and have switched to a convertible seat.  It helped...alot...but we still don't go more than about 10 minutes alone. 

He's been a pretty high needs baby since day 1...everyone suggests taking him for car rides.  HA!!

I think for my guy its a combination of being pinned and being bored.

One thing I've done is bring a small stash of things i can hand back to him while i drive.  Anything new is good...our standard toys don't work so well...but a water bottle, a small cup from the cider sample at the store, my sunglasses case....things he hasn't really seen before.  I've even passed back my chapstick, my iphone...anything he can explore for a minute or so.  each new item is good for about 1 minute.  Really helps with those last 5 minutes from home that feel like eternity when they're screaming and that light is still red! 

And when all else fails, i just reach back and hold his hand, and hope the stress hormones aren't taking too much of a toll from his screaming.

[P.J.]

Originally Posted by porcelina 

Sorry for the confusion, yes drive across town with baby in the car to pick up toddler, 40 mins round trip.

Aha! Yeah, still car screaming at 3 sounded a bit off....

is the best I can offer. I know how much it sucks to have to hear your baby screaming in the car, not being able to help him. Again: hang in there, it will get better.