I guess what it comes down to, for me, is that Steiner was just a man. A remarkably brilliant man who did a lot of really fine work and who's basic points I am in agreement with. He was also a product of his time and it was a pretty kooky time in some respects. Heaven knows what someone 100 years from now will think of Attachment Parenting, for instance. I think he had an unusually perceptive take on spirituality and how that is intertwined with personal development and education. I also think his ideas were growing and changing throughout his life and work, and I don't see a particular reason that that ought to stop with his death. I feel that we are inheritors of Steiners work, rather than disciples. That means that I am free to tweak whenever, wherever and however I want. I am prepared to give Steiner the graceful assumption that he was not right 100% of the time, just as I am prepared to live with, say Mark Twain (as the new Huck Finn is in the news at this moment) and his culturally influenced language. Or Shakespeare's antisemitism. Or Wagner's. Yes, we are not speaking of art, but of teaching, but I think the general idea holds.
Everyone has a line, right? One Mama really dislikes feudalism and it colours her way of seeing knight play. I'm not bothered by that, but I'm not coming from the same point of view. I see you wanting the influences of egalitarianism, Kmamma, and I can see how this might make your brand of unschooling really incompatible with Waldorf. Perhaps I misread the OP's questions, but I was working from the assumption that she was looking for feedback about meshing unschooling and Waldorf, and had certainly shown a real interest in Waldorf. With that assumption, I feel that a response of 'wow, I don't think those things are compatible' is wholly appropriate, but adding in 'and by the way, there is nothing at all about Waldorf that I agree with' is beside the point and sends the discussion into a place of debating Steiner instead of focusing on the question at hand. I apologise if I misunderstood the OP.
I have absolutely no experience of Waldorf schools, and given some of the things I've read, I'm not sure I would choose that route. I have no doubt that some people have had terribly scarring experiences there. But I choose to take the good and leave what I disagree with. Similarly with things like the knight play. I am the mamma. I am the filter. I am the gatekeeper. I want to protect my children's childhood and nurture spiritual and intellectual growth equally and this works for me. I have read lots about child development and for us, at this time, Steiner rings truest. That may change as we grow and learn. Everyone has to sit comfortably in their ideology and the choices they make. I certainly don't feel that I have let somebody else do all the work and thinking for me, but I have no problems acknowledging an influence I find remarkably inspiring.
Of course, if you were attempting to be both an unschooling purist and a Steiner purist, you would have a pretty tough time reconciling the two. In my opinion and experience you can met the two. I can see in the future that, while Waldorf is foremost for us now, maybe unschooling will come to the front later.
Mommysherry, as an aside, I have a Jan 06 baby and a Nov 09 baby, too! Also an Aug 04 little man who will be a first grader in the autumn. Many good wishes to you on your journey. I don't think you need to worry about where you are...the fact that you have found Carrie is a great thing....she is my #1 inspiration, followed closely by SouleMama. And, like you, what is most valuable to me are the insights into what is developmentally appropriate...the advice to stop talking and do more, to work alongside your children, and the wonderful visual of the incarnating child. It's much easier to be a patient Mamma with that in my mind.
ETA ugh, this sounds so defensive. And really disjointed. But I'm sick and don't really have the energy to go fix it, so I hope that the intent comes through. Maybe I ought to erase and just say...it can work! It works for us! Apologies....