Raising your spirited child

[lao80]

I just got this book and so far I am in LOVE with it. Just wanted to share.

[UrbanPlanter]

I've been really wanting to read it - gotta get to the library now

[Nursingnaturalmom]

I also LOVE that book. I go back and read it when I find my 6 year old and I are always butting heads.

Great Read

[NovaL]

I really like it too. I have not finished it yet, but I really have enjoyed what I have read so far!

[lao80]

I've taken a highlighter to the thing. Definatly will be a permanent part of my library.

[Nemmer]

Love that book!

[*LoveBugMama*]

Another fan!!

I really learned a lot from that book.

I had never thought about myself as an introvert, but I SOOOOO am!

It has helped me accept my personality after trying to be someone I am not for so many years.

So even though I bought it to learn how to raise my spirited son, I actually learned how to treat myself, too.

[georgia]

I think this book is great no matter what your child's temperament

<Introvert here, too!>

[myjo]

Well I'm the one you posted a thread begging for better discipline "techniques" when I had the book all the time. I've read the whole thing, but now that my kids are older I have to read it again. It really does help. I just finished the chapter on extroverts/introverts. Even just reading that helped me understand so much better why I butt heads with my boys. I'm an introvert, and they're both extroverts.

I'm trying to homeschool them, and so far I haven't found enough outside activities for them to do, so they are unhappy a lot of the time because of needing more interaction with people. And I can't stand them bugging me all day for attention because I need my space. Now that I understand this, I know what I need to do in order to make it better.

This is a book you have to go back and read over and over I think, for the message to sink in. Like I said, I read it years ago, but I need it more now than ever. And I had forgotten a lot of what it said.

[Raven]

Hi ... My dd is definately spirited! I live in South Africa and cant seem to find the book in stores here

Can you share favourite 'tips' with me perhaps?

Thanx...

[cwaddick]

Is it for toddlers too?

I've been recommended this book a lot, and I seem to remember taking it out from the library a year or two ago... it's been a blur.

Does it have practical advice for dealing with a tantrum prone toddler who is sneaky and clever, imaginative and active, and also tired and napless?

-- Caitlin

[myjo]

cwaddick, yes all of those things!

Raven: The book is very detailed and each chapter builds on the next. But I think just recognizing the traits of a spirited child and realizing that there is nothing wrong with them is an important first step. Actually most people report that their spirited children are very extraordinary, affectionate, intelligent, etc.

Here's a few brief tips:

Find out whether your child is an extravert or an introvert and you will know where they get their energy. (clue: introverts need alone time to recharge, extraverts lots of interaction)

Look for yes. Choose your battles. Recognize that good parents know when to say yes and that it's okay to say no firmly when the child has crossed a boundary.

Make sure limits are clear.

Distractible kids need you to get their attention in positive ways: physical touch, change of voice (not yelling), notes. They go "mother deaf" when we yell.

Avoid overstimulation. ie: too much tv, long shopping trips, too many people, too much noise, too much to look at.

Help them make transitions by giving forewarning ahead of time as to what their day will be like, when they will be leaving or changing activities, etc.

Prevent tantrums by looking for triggers and stepping in before the meltdown. Get professional help if tantrums continue and family feels unable to cope.

Anyway, those are some of the basics. It's a really good book. Maybe you could order it online?

[Raven]

Thnx myjo! I think my dd is definiely extroverted! Will try @ a library....