My dd is in first grade this year. Her teacher is a second year teacher and as the principle says to me, she has one of the most "structured" classes in the school. I am finding myself increasingly concerned over her behavior management methods and her behavior in general. The biggest, "oh my" moment for me came last week when I came in to visit dd in school. The school has an open door policy for parents, and I had not told the teacher I was coming, but I didn't think it would be a big deal. I walk into dd's classroom and her teacher looks at me with a look of hatred and says, "Can I help you?" I say no, I just came in to see dd, and she just glares at me and turns away and ignores me completely the rest of the class time. I actually sit on the floor because she does not offer me a chair the whole time. Then as I am leaving with dd to go out to recess she stops me and says, "Can you please let me know next time if you are going to come in! I am extremely upset because you are here, and I take it very personally that you came!". I reassure her that I simply came to see my child, and she keeps saying to me(almost freaking out with anger), "I take it very personally, I am really upset..."
I was so caught off guard, that I didn't know what to say to her. Now I feel like, why was she so defensive, what is she trying to hide?
She has done other things that dd has told me about-
-has a rule that if a child tells on another child for hurting, calling names, etc. and the child that did it won't admit to hurting, they both get in trouble until the child admits to what they did.
-when dd came to tell her that someone was hurting someone else, she said, "Why are you such a tattle tale?" dd was crying about this becuase she didn't understand the difference between being a tattle tale and trying to take care of your friends.
-when I come into the classroom, it is dead silent. None of the first graders talk, and if they do, she is on them like that. It feels like an atmosphere full of shaming, rigidity, and emotional control.
Is this the norm for public school? I feel like when I talk to other people around here, no one seems especially bothered by this kind of thing(I live in a very conservative area).
I wrote her an email today asking to talk with her about our conversation the other day. I am really anxious to even talk to her though because of the level of anger and hatred she threw at me last time. And I am concerned about the well being of my child, because to me, this woman seems unstable.