Family Circle – New monthly thread – All are welcome

[rhianna813]

Hi All!

We’d like to start a monthly thread that is open to everyone! It will be geared towards families who want to include their kids in ritual, magic and seasonal celebrations. This thread is also great for those new, curious, interested or non pagan but like dabbling.  All are welcome!

Topics open for discussion:

Sabbats – seasonal holidays

Esbats – Full or New moon rituals

Goddesses and Gods

Altars

Rituals – daily, bedtime, mealtime, rites of passage

Magic, spells, wishes, intentions, LoA, prayer, divination

Books, stories, crafts, food

Traditions – Pagans, Wiccans, Witches oh my! Or not calling yourself anything or being a blended religious family….

Community – public rituals, pagan/SpiralScouts, religious freedom/privacy, extended family questions

Questions – ask anything you like. No question too simple, too silly or too mundane!

We can share what real families do and ideas for kids of all age ranges.

November discussion – Any and All topics listed above - open discussion

December discussion – New Thread for Winter Solstice plus open discussion

Look forward to sharing with you! Feel to introduce yourself below J

Rhianna  (mama to Brendan age, almost 7)

[rhianna813]

My intro: I am a WOH mom to a boy who will be 7 this week! My DH is our SAHP. DS goes to first grade full time. We are a Pagan family but our interests and paths vary a lot.

I have been following the Pagan path about 20 years now and am currently part of a group that hosts full moon circles, open sabbats and other events. It’s considered a women’s temple and most activities are women only and Goddess only. Sometimes this conflicts me. Also their rituals run too late for my DS to attend. My DH isn’t into my group but thinks it’s ok for me. I really love the women in the group, they are like my sisters and it’s generally drama free.

My DH is on a very different path. He is Thelemic and belongs to the local OTO body. He is more into ceremonial magic and participates in the Gnostic Mass almost weekly. Not the woo-woo, purple scarves, singing n hugging stuff I like so much. Yes, there is much teasing between us, but we respect our individual paths. BUT sometimes seeing how different/separate they are makes it hard to do things as a family.

Raising our son. DS takes a definite interest in what DH does and loves to watch him practice his Mass lines and such. But most of his pagan experiences are with me and what I do. I have more access to families and kids. We mostly celebrate Sabbats in group settings but sometimes do full moon rituals. We do not have any daily practices.

We were also doing SpiralScouts but our local group just dissolved. We have a casual scout thing going with the same folks but that is proving to be too casual (er flakey). DH and I are discussing starting our SpiralScout group in the future.

And we live in Oregon, have 2 cats, 2 fish and 4 hermit crabs. We like to garden, watch movies, crafts, cook and spend time with our extended family.

Rhianna

[Aubergine68]

Subbing!

I'm a mom of 3, in a blended (mostly Catholic) religious family, with ever-increasing personal pagan leanings.  I follow the moon, do practices relating to her cycles, do Treasure Maps, and experiment with magick and the LOA.  I do not have much of a connection with others interested in paganism irl -- you know, the Gnostic mass sounds really interesting !  I should research if there is something like that available where I live.

 I run a home daycare and what I want to share today are a couple of things I do with my children and my daycare children that work really well as spiritual practices with young children.

-- most days we start the day by lighting a beeswax candle in a dish of crystals, making a wish/saying a prayer for our day, and blowing it out.  Everyone gets a turn.  Then we handle the crystals and talk about them -- I tell them the names and something about their properties.  I'm always interested to see which crystals the children are attracted to on a given day!

-- for birthdays - this is something I read about that I reallly like and we will be doing.  Light a candle to represent the sun and have the birthday child carry a globe representing the earth and walk around it one time for every year of their lives.

I'm trying to think of simple rituals to do with our regular candle for Solstice -- maybe make a new candle for Imbolc/Candlemas to represent the lengthening of the days?

[_ktg_]

Such a lovely idea for a thread!! Thank you Rhianna for starting this!.

Edited by _ktg_ - 11/17/10 at 1:21pm

[rhianna813]

Welcome! Your daycare practices sound amazing. Those kids are so lucky and I bet they feel really special and treasued to be apart of these rituals. We made candles for Imbolc one year and it was fun. Definitely something good to do in the winter when you can't be outside. I think it's fun to light a bunch of candles in the house, then turn all the lights off.

Rhianna

 

Originally Posted by Aubergine68 

Subbing!

I'm a mom of 3, in a blended (mostly Catholic) religious family, with ever-increasing personal pagan leanings.  I follow the moon, do practices relating to her cycles, do Treasure Maps, and experiment with magick and the LOA.  I do not have much of a connection with others interested in paganism irl -- you know, the Gnostic mass sounds really interesting !  I should research if there is something like that available where I live.

 I run a home daycare and what I want to share today are a couple of things I do with my children and my daycare children that work really well as spiritual practices with young children.

-- most days we start the day by lighting a beeswax candle in a dish of crystals, making a wish/saying a prayer for our day, and blowing it out.  Everyone gets a turn.  Then we handle the crystals and talk about them -- I tell them the names and something about their properties.  I'm always interested to see which crystals the children are attracted to on a given day!

-- for birthdays - this is something I read about that I reallly like and we will be doing.  Light a candle to represent the sun and have the birthday child carry a globe representing the earth and walk around it one time for every year of their lives.

I'm trying to think of simple rituals to do with our regular candle for Solstice -- maybe make a new candle for Imbolc/Candlemas to represent the lengthening of the days?

[rhianna813]

bump

[mommariffic]

I am really looking forward to reading replies!

[rhianna813]

Hi KTG and Mommarific – welcome!

So today is my son’s 7^th birthday. I thought I would share my view on a popular birthday tradition: birthday candles!

I was thinking about rituals we do in our daily lives or for special occasions and how most people do not realize they are indeed rituals…. And sometimes magic too!

With birthday candles we:

Make a special cake  - food is often associated with ritual, sacredness and magic.

We gather around the cake and the birthday person.

Candles are lit on the cake, a certain number to represent the age of the person.

Person gets to make a wish, usually made in silence – this is common in magic and spellwork.

Everyone sings to the person, even saying their name – raising energy to support the wish/spell.

Person blows out candle to release the wish – same is done in spellwork.

Everyone shares the cake – sharing of food and drink is common at the end of a ritual.

I wonder what Brendan will wish for? J

Rhianna

[_ktg_]

Rhianna - thank you for the warm welcome and insight re: birthdays.  It rings so true when you break it down as you did that it is a ritual and magickal in so many ways.  Happy Birthday to your son and may it be a magical day for him and the start of a wonderful year filled with love, laughter and bubbles (bubbles are just joyful to watch and bring happiness I think)

For me as a coming back to the path pagan, I struggle with not trying to make all of my celebrations "pomp & circumstance" rituals and just recognizing the simple ways I can practice.  I grew up in the catholic church, so I think my mindset is stuck in believing that religion is celebrated only from 10am-11am every Sunday, except for certain holidays (like Ash Wednesday and etc) and must contain lots of candles, music, prayers and script to be followed.  I'm curious to hear more about other's celebrations & rituals as most of mine are sitting, thinking, with a candle lit or sending up a prayer.

Within our family we struggle more since we are a blended almost non-religious family - DH was raised Jewish, Me - raised Catholic, but has studied several other religions (buddhist, hindu, judaism) with paganism/wiccan fitting the most with my soul, the kiddos I am working to expose them to all of it without preference to gain an accepting understanding that beliefs are as unique as people.  One size does not fit all.

[rhianna813]

KTG - how old are your kids? Do you like working with Wiccan type ritual (casting circle, calling quarters, etc) or something less formal?

Rhianna

[_ktg_]

My kiddos are 4 1/2 and almost 2 (in January), so really most of it is in 1 ear and out the other.  My oldest gets that (at about a 50% rate) we can watch the moon wax and wane and if we ask will watch over us at night.

 I did do something very formal one time in the summer/outside for a full moon - setting out candles in a circle in the specific directions, I cast a circle with salt, made a little offering of juice onto the ground and just soaked up the moon and tried to connect with the goddess.   It was a really great experience and I felt very connected- but cut short as I got interrupted. 

The kicker for me was that time/ritual was super hard to pull together - oh boy!  between getting the kids to bed, trying to find candles, salt and sort of/quasi hiding in my very open & exposed backyard from the neighbors. 

Do like it though - I think I'm attached to it because its comfortable to me, familiar given my previous exploration of Wicca, and the formality - it feels "churchy" to me.  

Free form or spontaneous- it is out of my comfort zone, but I think its what I have time for in my life right now - like I said sometimes its just a passing thought in my head when I have a moment. 

Sorry for the long-winded answer to the question! 

[rhianna813]

Just a note on salt… it’s really bad for plants and soil. If you are casting a circle outside cornmeal or birdseed are good options.

If I didn’t go to group rituals – I’d never make time for them. A few years ago I made a really big deal about needing more personal time (I needed it desparately) . But when I found myself standing in the dark in my own backyard, I was like a deer in the headlights. The pressure to have some earth moving experience in 20 minutes was too much LOL

Now I am more of a “kitchen witch” I guess. To me this emulates the magic that women have adapted to over time. The rituals and spells are built into their lives as they garden, cook, knit, sweep, decorate for the holidays. I really like folklore and folk magic. But I am still working on the actual witch part. The frazzled mom part is in full bloom LOL

A full moon ritual I once led in the fall – we did a canning of sorts. We used small jars and filled them with non spoiling items like beans, seeds, dried herbs, little stones or charms and written notes. These items represent the bountiful harvest of early autumn. The jar can opened in the deep winter to release that stored energy.

With your catholic and DH’s jewish background – you might want to incorporate candles a lot more into your home, small altars and just your personal rituals. Like the birthday candles, candle magic is easy (and affordable) .

Candle magic: http://www.wicca.com/celtic/bri/cndlmgk.htm

Candle color correspondences: http://www.wicca.com/celtic/bri/cndlcolor.htm

Book recommendation: Practical Candleburning Rituals, by Raymond Buckland:

http://www.amazon.com/Practical-Candleburning-Rituals-Purpose-Llewellyns/dp/0875420486/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_b

I think you can make candles with small children by using the flat bees wax that is rolled around a wick. http://www.allfreecrafts.com/candles/beeswax-candles.shtml

Rhianna

[rockycrop]

Really glad to find this thread!

I'm a point where I just beginning to call myself pagan (in my own mind really, so far).  

A little background on me: I grew up pretty religionless, both of my parents were raised Christian but had no desire to attend church or instill any kind of religion in us.  I've always (from as young as 3 and 4) felt fairly uncomfortable about the Bible without an ability to say why, but have maintained that people should engage in whatever personally fulfills them.

In the past couple years I started reading a lot of Native American spirituality books (this one was one of my favorites).  I always felt a connection to nature and I knew I wanted to pursue some sort of spiritual path, but had no idea how to go about it.  Reading through the thread so far, I am encouraged by the fact that all the little things count!  I'm becoming more comfortable with the fact that there is no one "right way" and it was just take a lot of experimenting and idea gathering to get a steadier routine going.

I find I feel a lot better when I am watching/speaking to the moon.  I garden and I leave offerings of produce on a certain stone in the backyard (although my garden totally went to crap this summer while I was in my first trimester).  I can totally relate with feeling like I'm on the spot in the backyard!  My neighbor's yard is up on a little hill so he can look down and see everything I'm doing when we're outside together (which is a lot).    I'm also really interested in Paleolithic culture, especially women's culture and that has brought me to the old mother goddess traditions.  (I just finished reading The Great Cosmic Mother...wow!)

Food is also a big part of my spiritual experience.  We get the majority of our food from an organic/grass-fed farm near our house.  I try to be very mindful of the animals and the plants I'm eating and serving to my family and all the work that has brought them to our table.  I'm ALWAYS on the lookout for ways to get things from the most basic/earthly level.  I make jewelry from things I grow in my yard (yucca cordage, gourds, Job's Tears), I would love to learn how to hunt wild game some day.  I just bought some mealworms for my starter mealworm farm.  So, just getting as close as I can to the cycles of the earth and of life-that's always my goal.

I have a 3.5 year old and one due in March.  I'd like to do some solstice stuff next month.  And just learn from all you wise women!

[operamommy]

I'm really looking forward to learning from this thread.  I'm a mom of 4 and have definite pagan leanings.  I feel a great connection and respect for nature....but when people start talking about spells and magic I get kind of confused.  Ok, not "kind of" - make that really confused and a little freaked.    I'm very open to learning about it all, though!  I don't really believe in or feel led to worship a deity, even Earth as a deity.  I get confused as to what exactly the Goddess is. 

I like the moon.  I like the concept of the maiden/mother/crone.  I like taking time each day to notice the gifts of nature around me.  But I don't really know what I believe.  My spiritual path seems very crooked and murky right now!  I feel like all people and animals are connected, and that we each have goodness inside.  I feel that we need to take care of one another. 

Many years ago I was an avid follower of the Christian church.  I miss feeling like I know how to label myself, like I know what I am.  Does that make any sense? 

[mary3mama]

Good thread idea. 

I'm Mary, generally Pagan-ish and interested in observing/respecting/enjoying seasonal rhythms. Labels are problematic, not because I resist them as a principle....just because every time I choose a label that seems to fit, it doesn't last for long. I find that my spirituality is always in motion; changing, morphing, reinventing. But generally I'm an earth & goddess-lovin' SAHMama who is constantly and consistently drawn to Buddhist principles. I see neither Paganism or Buddhism as my religion...but rather my soulful, personal path.

Children are 11, 7, and soon-to-be 4.

My daughter's birthday is right before the Winter Solstice so we are starting a new family tradition this year of having a Yule Birthday party. It is soooo easy for her birthday to be 'swallowed up' by Christmas (and that's how her grandparents seem to see it) so this is our way to build a new and, hopefully, soul-satisfying new rhythm all while celebrating our 'baby.'

Looking forward to reading and learning. 

[rhianna813]

Welcome RockyCrop!

I can relate my parents did not raise me in a religious household and came from a very mixed background themselves. My mom went "new age" on us when I was teen and this influenced me a lot. Being interested in astrology, numerology, tarot and crystals lead me to Paganism. Of course later she got back into mainstream religion and kept asking if I worshipped the devil LOL

Rhianna

 

Originally Posted by rockycrop 

Really glad to find this thread!

I'm a point where I just beginning to call myself pagan (in my own mind really, so far).  

A little background on me: I grew up pretty religionless, both of my parents were raised Christian but had no desire to attend church or instill any kind of religion in us.  I've always (from as young as 3 and 4) felt fairly uncomfortable about the Bible without an ability to say why, but have maintained that people should engage in whatever personally fulfills them.

I have a 3.5 year old and one due in March.  I'd like to do some solstice stuff next month.  And just learn from all you wise women!

[rhianna813]

Originally Posted by operamommy 

I'm really looking forward to learning from this thread.  I'm a mom of 4 and have definite pagan leanings.  I feel a great connection and respect for nature....but when people start talking about spells and magic I get kind of confused.  Ok, not "kind of" - make that really confused and a little freaked.    I'm very open to learning about it all, though!  I don't really believe in or feel led to worship a deity, even Earth as a deity.  I get confused as to what exactly the Goddess is. 

I like the moon.  I like the concept of the maiden/mother/crone.  I like taking time each day to notice the gifts of nature around me.  But I don't really know what I believe.  My spiritual path seems very crooked and murky right now!  I feel like all people and animals are connected, and that we each have goodness inside.  I feel that we need to take care of one another. 

Many years ago I was an avid follower of the Christian church.  I miss feeling like I know how to label myself, like I know what I am.  Does that make any sense? 

[rhianna813]

For those interested - here are some recommended books :-)

I started my interest in Paganism in late 80’s and purchased a goodly amount of books. But noticed that as newer books came out they were just referencing the original ones, with different cover art. Quickly I moved to other types of books. Ones that appeal to Pagans, but don’t teach it perse.  Books on herbalism, gardening, goddess history, natural living, folklore and folk craft, native American beliefs…

I try to recommend only books I have read or at least authors I think are reputable. Your library is a good resource for checking out a book before you buy. Used book stores are also good!

Recommended books on general Pagan/Wiccan/Witchcraft topic:

Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler

Witches’ Bible by Stewart and Janet Farrar

Bucklands Complete Book of Witchcraft by Raymond Buckland

The SpiralDance by Starhawk

Circle Round by Starhawk (made for children – good for everyone!)

Wicca – a guide for the solitary practionary by Scott Cunningham*

Recommended books about the Goddess:

The Witch’s Goddess by Stewart and Janet Farrar

When God was a Woman by Merlin Stone

The Great Cosmic Mother by Monica Sjoo (have not read yet but friends highly commend!)

The Grandmother of Time by Zsuzanna Budapest

Recommended books Sabbats, Ritual, Magic and Spells:

Wheel of the Year by Pauline Campenelli

Earth Power by Scott Cunningham*

Cunningham’s Encyclopedia to Magical Herbs by Scott Cunningham*

Grandmother Moon by Zsuzanna Budapest

A Witch Alone by Marion Green

The ABC of Witchcraft by Doreen Valiente (DH recommends)

*Scott Cunningham wrote many books and I love most of them! His writing style is very down to earth and approachable beginners. But there is some overlap between some of his books. Read online reviews to get a feel if the book is good for you.

I also want to mention calendars!! I personally love them JThere are many Pagan based wall calendars and planners. These can be a fun way to learn a bit as you go. Most will list multicultural and pagan holidays, moon phases/sign, astrological correspondences, and sometimes historical information.

For astrology nothing beats: Llewelyn’s Astrological Calendar

Wiccan/Pagan I like both: Witches Datebook  and  Seasons of the Witch

Someone made a nifty listing for 2011 datebooks and calendars here:

http://www.squidoo.com/wicca-calendars

I hardly ever read fiction but one book I’ve read and is adored by many Pagans is the Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley. It’s a revisioning of the Authorian lengend from the female characters point of the view.

Please share your book recommendations too.

Rhianna

[rhianna813]

Hi Operamommy!

I responded to your post but my message didn’t show up – just your quote LOL I think many people are on the crooked non defined not sure what to believe path too. Spirituality is very personal and changes as we grow through life. I was heading full steam ahead on my path and then I became a mother. A true rite of passage, no scripted ritual needed.

And everything changed and I felt completely lost. A tried to rebuild the same path but that didn’t work. Now I am starting over, seeing life and spirit differently. Things are now quality, not quantity. Walking my talk and less talking out my rear LOL One good thing to do is: start with what you love! If you are attracted to it – study it, dream about it, write or paint about it. It will nourish you and lead you to where you need to go next.

I just posted some recommended books – take a peak. I will post more on spells and magic – what that is or isn’t. And how we are all already doing it - so don't be nervous :-)

Rhianna

[rhianna813]

Hello Mary!!

Welcome to you and your family.

Spirituality is in constant motion and changing. I think that’s a theme we’ll need to remind ourselves of in this thread as we go. You have a great age range in kids! Please chime in with what works good or not so good for kids regarding their age/skill/attention spans for ritual or whatnot. Others will find this really helpful. My son is 7 and I always say I can help with kids his age or younger hahaha He is teaching me.

I think when we start the December thread and discuss Winter Solstice – it’s gonna be a blast!

Rhianna