Very sensitive DS - how to respond?

[busymama77]

DS is 4 - will be 5 in a couple of months - and lately, has become sensitive to a lot of things.  I'm not sure if it's sensitivity or anxiety.  He gets upset if something that we have planned a few days down the road isn't happening right then (that's where we are starting to work on learning the sequence of using a calendar).  If DH and I start to laugh about something, he thinks it's directed towards him but in actuality, we're laughing about something that DH or I said that pertains to what we're doing at the time - playing a board game, reading a book, watching a show, etc.,  We explain to him what we said has nothing to do with him and try to make him understand it, but more often than not, he doesn't want to hear it. 

I mean, it's about EVERYTHING lately and it's driving me crazy.  Is there more to this than what we see?  Nothing in our life has changed recently.  Could it be just a phase?  When he gets so upset, we discuss it, but he's crying so hard sometimes that it's hard to understand him.  

[BFandHS]

It could be a phase.  Keep reassuring him and see how it goes.  Maybe someone else will see this who knows more.  :o

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by BFandHS 

It could be a phase.  Keep reassuring him and see how it goes.  Maybe someone else will see this who knows more.  :o

Thanks.  Yeah, I'm surprised that more have not responded.  I can't be the ONLY one with a child that is sensitive!?!?! 

[laohaire]

Sorry you didn't get more responses. My child is not very sensitive so normally I wouldn't answer, but it seems like it's quiet on here, so I'll go ahead and drop my two cents.

Most sensitive kids I have observed have always been sensitive. It sounds like this is new for your son, is that right?

I see from your siggie you have a new one in the house. Could this be related?

The part about wanting something that is happening in the future to happen NOW I think is normal and your solution is spot-on. It sounds frustrating but not concerning in any way to me.

The part about thinking people are laughing at him... my line of thought (and I could be way off) is that people who think they are being laughed at tend to be focused/centered on themselves. Which is completely normal for children, all children must be centered on themselves for their very survival, but if we extrapolate that to his current situation, it occurs to me that lately he might be feeling some anxiety because he's NOT the center of the world anymore (due to baby). That could be a struggle.

My instinct, honestly, would be to indulge him. Yeah, it could backfire, but that's just how I'm built, myself. If his feelings were hurt I'd go "awww" and give him a hug and say "we weren't making fun of you, sweets." For some kids that might encourage them to be dramatic, but I think for many kids, it would soothe a hurt and enable them to move on from it.

[sapphire_chan]

Don't know how it would apply to a four year old, but when DD loses it over ridiculous stuff it's generally because she should've been asleep or needed to be fed.

Maybe try just holding him and hugging him? Let him get out the tears an then maybe he'll be more responsive to logic?