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School dictating what I can send in ds's lunch - Page 2

post #21 of 30

Good !  I'm glad it's not an over-control thing. 

post #22 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by laundrycrisis View Post

I suspect this is one teacher on a power trip.  I am saying that because the reason she gave makes no sense at all and I seriously doubt there is any sort of policy against the yogurt you sent.  And what reason was given for the raisin ban ???  Esp if they had been allowed before ?  I think she's making stuff up.  I would ask for the written policy prohibiting both yogurt and raisins.  No policy ?   I would tell her to keep her ideas about food to herself please.  If there actually is such a policy, I would go up the food chain with that, stating that this is not the USSR, that they are not being consistent, that they are being meddlesome and nitpicky and overstepping what is reasonable.  Unless the school could give me a comprehensive written policy as to what exactly is allowed and is not, and show me that they are applying it to everyone equally, they should keep their nose out of my kid's lunchbox.

 

And I would send the offending raisins and yogurt every day for the rest of the year as a political statement.   We should not give up even what seem like small personal freedoms for ridiculous reasons that don't benefit anyone.

 

So yeah, it would bother me tremendously.  splat.gifnod.gif

I agree. Ask her for a written policy. I bet she does not have one.

 And sorry to say that but I just could not help myself:. I was born and raised in the USSR and we had by far MORE FREEDOM in chosing our lunch. We had an option of bringing whatever we wanted to bring (except alcohol, of course:)) or we could eat food at the cafeteria. My elementary school was very tiny and we did not have cafteria there. So,my mom would pack a sandwich and fruit or a vegetable for my lunch. The teacher usually made black tea or cocoa for all the kids and that was our lunch.

 In my secondary schools - and I have attended five of them in different cities, cafeteria lunches were absolutely amazing. Couldn't even compare to the crap American kids eat here. 

Here is the menue for one day (it changed daily). 1.  Beef, mashroom and barley soup.  2.  Mashed potatoes and a meat loaf with a small side salad. 3. Pastry  4. Compot (a drink made out of dried or fresh fruit). Here you go! This is what I call a nutricious lunch that kids in the USA (or rather their enlightened parents) could only dream of.  Honestly I cringe every time I think about the cafeteria food inthe American public schools; I hate to see my daughter eating it. Some schools did start making changes but they have a loooong road to go and I doubt that they will ever catch up with the cafeteria food that was served in the Soviet schools.

post #23 of 30


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by DevaMajka View Post


Sigh. This is what I get for listening to a 6yo.

 
Someone once posted something like this (from a teacher) "I won't believe 80% of what your child says happened at home, if you don't believe 80% of what she says happens in school."
post #24 of 30

Good thing he misunderstood the rule.  My dd was forever doing this at that age and has always been concerned about rules and routines, though not to the point of anxiety, I do it also and do get a little panicky and short tempered at times.  I am not sure if you are concerned about the stress over rules, but if you are I wanted to say that as a person who likes routine and rules I tend to get a little panicky and more serious about things when I am stressed out about other things.  As an adult I can usually recognize what is going on and address the root cause of the problem, or at least make a conscious effort to relax, if your son tends to get like that when he is stressed he may not be able to do that without support.  Normally I am a calm and even keeled person who just naturally follows a slight routine, but stress really sets me off the deep end.

post #25 of 30

Glad you worked it out.  I was going to write that raisins are the equivalent of candy on your teeth, but I see that was already covered.

post #26 of 30

That sounds like a wonderful lunch ! 

 

Most of the school lunches here are frightening  - either for being junk or just being so bad they are barely edible.  I have heard of some schools with decent cafeteria food but I still remember the food at my schools and how really rank and horrible it was.  I personally think rules about school lunches and nutrition should only apply to what is served by the school.   I think it's important that parents can pack whatever they want, and the only rules about what comes from home should be regarding allergens and candy (because I can see candy causing problems in a lunchroom).  If a school wants to ban a certain food item because it leads to a mess or behavior problem, they should do it in writing, notify all the parents, and enforce it consistently.  It should never be one teacher saying "don't send this", "don't send that" etc.  I also think it's fine for schools to suggest guidelines for what is a good lunch, or let a parent know if a child is having trouble managing something that is sent in his/her lunch, but it should only be a suggestion.

Quote:
Originally Posted by anechka View Post

I agree. Ask her for a written policy. I bet she does not have one.

 And sorry to say that but I just could not help myself:. I was born and raised in the USSR and we had by far MORE FREEDOM in chosing our lunch. We had an option of bringing whatever we wanted to bring (except alcohol, of course:)) or we could eat food at the cafeteria. My elementary school was very tiny and we did not have cafteria there. So,my mom would pack a sandwich and fruit or a vegetable for my lunch. The teacher usually made black tea or cocoa for all the kids and that was our lunch.

 In my secondary schools - and I have attended five of them in different cities, cafeteria lunches were absolutely amazing. Couldn't even compare to the crap American kids eat here. 

Here is the menue for one day (it changed daily). 1.  Beef, mashroom and barley soup.  2.  Mashed potatoes and a meat loaf with a small side salad. 3. Pastry  4. Compot (a drink made out of dried or fresh fruit). Here you go! This is what I call a nutricious lunch that kids in the USA (or rather their enlightened parents) could only dream of.  Honestly I cringe every time I think about the cafeteria food inthe American public schools; I hate to see my daughter eating it. Some schools did start making changes but they have a loooong road to go and I doubt that they will ever catch up with the cafeteria food that was served in the Soviet schools.


 

post #27 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by JudiAU View Post

The tube yogurts are banned from my preschool. Because of mess, mostly, but they are generally higher in sugar than non-tube yogurt. The only one I've looked at (Horizon maybe?) had twice as much sugar as other sweetened yogurt.

 

Regular sweetened yogurt: 27 grams of sugar in 170 grams of yogurt

Organic Horizon Tubes: 10 grams of sugar in 57 grams of yogurt

 

Horizon tubes have about the same amount of sugar as regular flavored yogurt (but it's organic, which matters to us), so I don't know where you're getting your information.

 

OP - glad you've worked things out.  We've had to deal with lunch issues ourselves, as lunch is required as a part of tuition (private) but dd has food intolerance.

post #28 of 30

DD's 1st grade teachers told us, "I'll only believe half of what your child says about you if you only believe half of what they say about me." This is sort of understandable at that age lol. I taught preschool for a few years and you wouldn't believe the stories we'd hear about how parents ate glitter, how dad used mom's toothbrush, how the cops were at the house every night (because he liked in the apartment above them lol.) I can imagine the stuff parents heard about us lol.

 

Some kids are black and white. My son is totally like this and we have trouble with him taking rules to extremes. We got in some really embarrassing situations in the early years getting all upset over something that really wasn't the case. Ugh. It's better now but still, I try to get both sides before I go off now lol.

post #29 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by DevaMajka View Post


Sigh. This is what I get for listening to a 6yo.

I told the teacher that ds was under the impression that he couldn't have yogurt for lunch. What SHE said was that she prefers that they don't eat yogurt during their snack time/recess, because they eat in a circle on the carpet and runny stuff like that makes a mess. She prefers that they have something solid like an apple or other fruit or veggie. Yogurt is perfectly fine for lunch (the have a longer time, and she washes the tables before and after), she just prefers they don't have it for snack time. She said that they still *can* have yogurt for snack if it really matters to them, but she prefers they don't. I'm not sure where he got the sugar thing from :headscratch

 

The raisins, basically they had a lesson on "tooth friendly" foods, and she told them that raisins are sticky and aren't good for your teeth unless you brush afterwards (ds said something about brushing in relation to the yogurt, so I assume this is where the mix up is). Again, she said something about it's better to save raisins for lunch and not for snack (I'm assuming because the other foods can help get the raisins out of their teeth).

 

So it's all good, and I feel a bit goofy about the whole thing.

 

She did say that ds seems to take "rules" too seriously, to the point that it's stressing him out. (as evidenced by the yogurt thing). He tells on other kids for things like running (that aren't a big deal, really) and she's talked to him a few times, trying to help him understand what is important to tell, and what isn't. So I think this is something I need to work on with him- I don't want him to be stressed or feel bound by "rules" that he doesn't understand.


 

Glad to hear that you had a good meeting. The teacher sounds very reasonable. 

 

I think someone already mentioned reinforcing the difference between telling and tattling. Telling will get someone out of trouble. Tattling will get someone in trouble. If he thinks someone is going to get hurt and he wants to prevent harm, it's okay to tell. If, however, he's motivated just because he's unhappy or angry at someone or is causing mischief, then likely he's tattling. What gets missed sometimes when discussing this with children is talking to them about what they can do themselves before they go to the teacher. If it's an emergency or a very serious problem, then it's important to immediately report it. But if it isn't, he can ask himself if there's something he can do to solve the problem, like speaking directly to the others involved, or if it really is a problem at all and he can ignore it. 

 

Tattling seems to peak with a lot of children around age 6 or 7, and then they seem to outgrow it. I suspect that they learn from experience that other children don't like tattlers, or they are on the receiving end of tattling, so they learn it isn't nice. 

post #30 of 30
Thread Starter 


I like the thing about believing only half of what the child says happens. lol. Sounds accurate!
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by One_Girl View Post

Good thing he misunderstood the rule.  My dd was forever doing this at that age and has always been concerned about rules and routines, though not to the point of anxiety, I do it also and do get a little panicky and short tempered at times.  I am not sure if you are concerned about the stress over rules, but if you are I wanted to say that as a person who likes routine and rules I tend to get a little panicky and more serious about things when I am stressed out about other things.  As an adult I can usually recognize what is going on and address the root cause of the problem, or at least make a conscious effort to relax, if your son tends to get like that when he is stressed he may not be able to do that without support.  Normally I am a calm and even keeled person who just naturally follows a slight routine, but stress really sets me off the deep end.

Dp and I were talking, and I think it has to do with the emphasis on being "good" or "bad" at school. He already was a rule follower, even requesting for me to set a solid limit instead of letting him make his own decision (which he ends up doing easily with no apparent stress). But I think the thought of him doing "bad" or not getting a sticker, or getting yelled at, or alternatively getting a reward if he does something "good" is stressful for him. We don't punish or reward, and have very few actual rules. Our guidelines at home basically have to do with how our actions affect other people.

 

 



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree View Post



 

Glad to hear that you had a good meeting. The teacher sounds very reasonable. 

 

I think someone already mentioned reinforcing the difference between telling and tattling. Telling will get someone out of trouble. Tattling will get someone in trouble. If he thinks someone is going to get hurt and he wants to prevent harm, it's okay to tell. If, however, he's motivated just because he's unhappy or angry at someone or is causing mischief, then likely he's tattling. What gets missed sometimes when discussing this with children is talking to them about what they can do themselves before they go to the teacher. If it's an emergency or a very serious problem, then it's important to immediately report it. But if it isn't, he can ask himself if there's something he can do to solve the problem, like speaking directly to the others involved, or if it really is a problem at all and he can ignore it. 

 

 I've never thought of it like that. I'll have to discuss this part of it with him. Thanks for the food for thought :)

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