Don't know what this is or what to do

[Dancerchic1981]

My husband and I don't know if there is cause for concern or we are just freaking out. Please share advice and opinions.

My youngest daugther is turning 6 in December. I homeschool her and her older sister and I just started Kinder with her about 3 months ago. She is making barely any progress at all. She has always been delayed. Didnt walk until 19 months. No full sentences until about 4 years old.

We went through many peds who never seemed concerned and always told us she was just delayed. They would never give us recommendations to specialists or anything. They've always just brushed it off.

Anyways, we are now noticing more delays. She only knows basic shapes (rectangle, circle, triangle) and only common colors (white, black, blue, red). She only knows how to count up to 5 and sometimes has trouble with that. She can't really name letters by sight and cant even spell her first name.

Her speech is fine but sometimes forgets simple words and leaves them out of sentences (some, like, can't, don't) and those are just a few examples. She'll completely skip over the word and look at you like what she said was normal.

She doesn't always follow basic instructions. It isn't a discipline issue. She looks like she is trying to understand but can't. ''pick up your teddy bear and bring him to your room' is an example. She stands there staring at me and kind of rocks withoout noticing it like her body is trying to figure out what direction to go. That doesn't happen all the time, but a few times a week and it seems to be getting more frequent. Her hearing is great so that isn't it.

I just don't know what to do anymore. Are we being paranoid? If not, what should we do and how to go about it?

Thanks! Any questions that you have I'll gladly answer.

[askew]

I wrote this long post and accidentally cleared it. Ugh. 

My point was, it seems like a lot of what you write are pretty significant delays. I would get it checked out either by a developmental ped or get an assessment through the school. Many things you describe, like spelling name, counting, colors and shapes are things that should be mastered in preschool. My NT child could do all those things before 3. The development you describe sounds a lot like my SN kid who has a chromosome deletion that causes her delays. I would think it is best to get to the bottom of it soon, as the cognitive expectations of school take a big leap by 3rd grade and if she needs support or services best to have that in place early. Good luck. Not knowing is the hardest part. 

[anj_rn]

Yes I would be concerned.  I would start with a new ped, and specifically state that you are looking for a work up for developmental delays (poss. apraxia).  At minimum you should get referrals for a developmental ped, speech, and OT.  If your insurance won't cover therapy, you can also get an eval through the school district.  I think they have to do the eval and offer services even if you homeschool (although that may vary from state to state).

[NataliaI]

Well...  I agree that it sounds like something is up -- most importantly because your mommy-radar is telling you so.  But as to some of your specific questions, I have had the opposite experience with my NT child.  He did not know basic shapes, colors or letters at Kindergarten age.  Didn't care,  didn't want to learn.  My children on the spectrum knew them by age 1. 

Just pointing this out because the "academic" type issues you describe are not a red-flag for me.

I am surprised that your ped was not concerned about a child that did not walk until 19 mo or speak in sentences until 4 yo.  It may not mean anything.  But to me, these are bigger issues than the shape and color things.

My nt kid made no progress with these for years.  We didn't make a big deal out of it and one day he just knew them.

I am also concerned that she does not follow basic instructions -- esp. if you think she is unable as opposed to uninterested.

If you are concerned, contact your local school and schedule some evaluations.  The information you gather will help you decide how to proceed.

Peace and love to you.

[Dancerchic1981]

Thank you everyone. I was worried I might be bashed for not trying before. We've tried but our insurance was sucky. Now that we've got better insurance I can finally move forward with this.
We are in the process of finding a new ped since all the ones we've seen think she is fine. I guess my new approach while talking to them will be ''I want answers now and won't take no for answer. You in or you out?'' That should help me weed out those who won't give me recs or take me seriously.
We acutally have a ped in mind that a friend rec. He works at the children's hospital so we're going to meet him today.

[NataliaI]

Have you contacted your school district?  They usually do these evaluations at no charge.

[Dancerchic1981]

We met with the ped at the children's hospital. We explained up front that we expected our input to be listened to. After the initial meet and greet we spoke about our daugther specifically and what he thinks might be a good approach.
He said he would recommend us to a developmental physcologist in the same hospital for our daugther to be evaluated.
We set up an appt for him to meet with our daughter for tomorrow afternoon. He'll give his own evaluation and then recommend us for a professional eval.
We are hopeful. He was very thorough, nice and had a sense of humor. Hopefully, my daugther likes him.
Thanks everyone!

[bender]

I would talk with your school district as well.  Having a medical diagnosis or plan will be helpful, but the school district will have to perform their own evaluation to qualify her for any additional services.  I know you are homeschooling right now, but it would give you other options for the future.