When only 1parent does Santa

[Honey693]

Does anyone have a significant other that doesn't want to do Santa with the kids?  DH never believed in Santa, but I did and I loved it.  I wouldn't change my parents pretending about Santa for anything.  DH was the youngest of 4 and never believed in Santa.  He was the kid telling other kids that it was mom and dad, not Santa.  He wasn't planning on doing Santa with our kids, but I was.  Our compromise is i can do whatever I want, but he's participating.  He won't say there's no Santa, but he's not telling them stockings are for Santa, tracking Santa on the news, etc.  What do you guys do if your s/o doesn't do Santa?

[pianojazzgirl]

That seems complicated!  How old are your kids?  Is this the first year it's an issue?

Honestly I don't see how it would work.  My feeling is that sooner or later dh would end up either a) occasionally mentioning Santa (playing along) or b) telling the kids there's no Santa. 

I'm curious how this has worked in other families... I'll be watching the thread!

[crunchy_mommy]

Interesting. DH & I never even talked about whether we'd do Santa, it just hasn't come up yet & DS is almost 2 lol so I guess we're not doing Santa?? Or at least not yet?? Fine by me either way, I would rather not do it but I don't really feel that strongly either way but I guess DH & I should at least talk about it!

Could you do something like play Santa but tell the kids you're just pretending? Does your DH have some kind of painful/traumatic feelings related to Santa or is it more just a general disinterest? Is there any aspect of Santa that he might get really into? Like putting sleigh tracks in the snow or even just eating the cookies & milk?

I think you need to get on the same page somehow, I don't see how it would work to have one parent play Santa & the other just ignore everything Santa-related... I'd try to get to the heart of his feelings & try to communicate yours as well & see if that leads you both more in one direction than the other...

[new2this]

nak

We are in the same spot. DH and I compromised by this. I can do all the Santa things but if DD asks him if Santa is real he said he won't lie to her and I had to agree since I knew there was no real winning on it. However I also know once its fun for her he will get into it some and not crush her about it. He just overall isn't big into holidays and birthdays where I am all about them..lol  And I also plan on doing the Christmas Elf all month long when she is a bit older. 

[mbhf]

My dh and I agree on this, but we don't do santa. I would not be upset if my dh wanted to do Santa as long as he made it clear to our children that it was pretend. I would be very upset if my dh wanted to tell our children that santa was real and/or wanted me to go along with it.

[laohaire]

DH likes Santa and I'm indifferent to it. DD is 5 and so far it's fine. I don't participate but she hasn't asked me if Santa is real.

I figured out the whole Santa thing when I was 8, and I think I was on the late end of things, so even if she asks me next year or the year after, I figure we'll have gotten the usual mileage out of it.

[chaoticzenmom]

I'm the anti-santa person in our house.  I've told my children that Santa is us.  We still play that Santa game.  I love that it's fun and it's not deceptive.  My kids make lists for  Santa, that talk about Santa, I say "Santa's watching you!"  and tell the kids to "put it on your list to Santa" when they want something.  When they ask me honestly, "Is Santa real?"  I say "no.  Do you want him to be real because we can pretend he's real if you want."  Last year, they all wanted him to be real, so we made him as real as possible...put presents out on Christmas eve, etc.

I'd rather not do Christmas at all and have a small Yule celebration, but I've been outvoted in my house, so we play the game.

[Honey693]

Originally Posted by new2this 

nak

We are in the same spot. DH and I compromised by this. I can do all the Santa things but if DD asks him if Santa is real he said he won't lie to her and I had to agree since I knew there was no real winning on it. However I also know once its fun for her he will get into it some and not crush her about it. He just overall isn't big into holidays and birthdays where I am all about them..lol  And I also plan on doing the Christmas Elf all month long when she is a bit older. 

DD is 2 and I plan on doing Elf on the Shelf next year.  I get so excited about Santa and Christmas!  I have a feeling that DH will get more into once he sees how excited DD gets about it.  This year she won't get what's going on, but I think she will next year.  It's also why we're not taking her to church this year.  I just don't think she'll get that either.  not that  I'm comparing Santa to Jesus, but you know what I mean.

[New_Natural_Mom]

I'm the parent that doesn't do Santa.  My DH would really like to, but this is a HUGE issue for me.  So we aren't doing it.

[Caneel]

Niether DH or I grew up in a Santa house and to this day, we don't really "get" the appeal from a child's or an adult's point of view.

DS came to Santa totally on his own through playing with santa-believing kids and possibly from the media. 

It blows my mind to see how much he desperately wants to believe in Santa.  Last year he constantly pestered me about whether or not Santa is real.  I kept the explaination simple by saying it is a tradition some families do but, no, Santa is not a real, human person.  I compared Santa to Big Bird.  Nope, not good enough, he would not let it go - seriously, he questioned me daily about it.

A few days ago, he asked me if he could believe in Santa if he wanted to.  I didn't really have an answer and babbled something about if he thought it would be fun to make-believe, sure go ahead.  I don't want to squash his imagination.

[philomom]

My kids have had a great childhood without any santa or the drama it can cause.