How do we gently say NO to plastic toys?

[maisiedotes]

I am ready to scream.  Last year, I casually mentioned to my mother in law that I wanted to buy our daughter a little wooden kitchen I had seen in the Nova Naturals catalog.  it was little and adorable and simple... next thing I know, my MIL calls and announces that they got DD a kitchen!  I said "oohh, is it the Squirrel Nutkin one?" no, it was a giant plastic one with fake stickers and an 88 piece plastic accessory set.  I said "oh, that is so nice of you" because I didn't want to seem ungrateful.. she said "oh, I figured this plastic one woudl be easier to clean." 

So, my mom called me a month or so ago because she was at a yardsale and found this great wooden one for $75 that she wanted to get the kids for christmas.  I was so happy- I said YES, grab it and we will figure out what to do with the plastic one later.  Now the time is approaching.. my MIL comes over pretty often and I don't want to hurt her feelings by getting rid of the plastic one. I considered telling her it was recalled or that we read that BPA was leeching into our home from it or something, but knowing her she would double check that online. 

Why don't I just get a set of bollocks and say "we had mentioned that we wanted a wooden one and we found one, so we passed the plastic one onto a needy child" or something? 

Can anyone tell me how to gently bring it up?  If we don't, she will continue with the plastic toys. she is a great woman but she does what she thinks is best for our kids, not what we want for our kids.

Thanks!

[hildare]

a suggestion.. are you in a place where the plastic kitchen could be used outside?  then you could have the sweet wooden one for indoor play and the plastic one could be used in your yard with sand and mud etc and get hosed off?  i totally agree about plastic, but it might be fun to use outdoors and would satisfy everyone (it IS easier to clean, mom!  see?)

then.. later, send her a news article about the hazards of plastic and explain that you are trying to avoid plastic and why.  it worked for my mom, at least. 

[crunchy_mommy]

Oh man do I feel your pain...

Putting it outside could work if you have the space. Or maybe you could just tell her, You know, we really wanted DD to have a wooden one & we found a great one at a yard sale that we just couldn't pass up. Would you like to keep the plastic one at your house for when she visits? Or could you tell her the plastic one was just too big?

I don't know, it's so hard to not seem ungrateful while still trying to keep to your ideals. It seems like this would be best to nip in the bud rather than sidestepping the issue... I told my mom that DS likes wooden toys better & plays with them more (true) & that it looks nicer in our living room since that's where all the toys go (also true)... This didn't quite get at the heart of why we're avoiding most plastics, but that was the only way I could explain it that would make sense to her. However, that still didn't stop her from grabbing DS a giant plastic toolbench from the side of the road... It feels like it will be a never-ending battle (and we haven't even tried broaching the subject with the inlaws, though we did decide to send them a Christmas list for DS but who knows if they'll stick to it, not that they have to but I am hoping seeing all the nice wooden toys on the list will steer them away from the plastic noisy ones... or from giving him clothes 2 sizes too small lol)

[Sfcmama]

Btdt!!! Some great ideas from pps. We are also challenged to uphold our values and still be grateful.
Don't know if your dynamics are like ours but my MIL always responds better when a message comes from DH. I can't tell you how many times MIL has either dismissed, ignored or "forgotten" something I've requested for DD, only for her to do it the first time asked by DH...

[maisiedotes]

keeping it outside is a great idea!  And I think I will have DH gently approach his mom and explain it all. I will let him be the "bad guy".  It is odd- my mom, who thinks we are weird with our natural lifestyle, is much more likely to do what we want than my open-minded, progressive mother in law who  buys the plastic toys, barbies, etc.  She babysat for us the other day and we returned to find DD not only playing with barbies, but a toy gun!