I am still nursing my DD who will turn two this month. She has been nursed to sleep since she was born and basically has never had a bottle or pacifier. She has recently started to nap without nursing for her Dad or Grandma – but will not sleep without nursing for me. We had a co-sleeper when she was little, and then a family bed, then transitioned to a twin bed on the floor beside our queen bed when she was around 15 months. This worked great for a long time, she'd sleep on her bed and climb into ours 2-3 times a night for milk, and roll back into hers to sleep. Unfortunately the situation has stopped working the past month or so and I am getting desperate for sleep.
Bedtime is now a huge struggle, she will do anything and everything not to go to sleep. She'll fall asleep (nursing) on me, but wakes when I transfer her to bed and will cry for an hour if we try to make her stay in bed or if her Dad holds her. She'll get up and play, or go back to nursing with me, but nothing else will do. We have never had a crib, so if we leave her to cry in her bed she'll kick and cry for a while, then eventually come into the room we are in and start to play a peek-a-boo type game. She is very verbal, so she comes up with all sorts of excuses not to lay down (super cute...but frustrating!!).
During the night she insists on staying latched on, and while she is nursing she suddenly wants to touch, pinch, and switch sides constantly. She “flutter sucks” my nipple so she wont get milk and tries to stay latched on all night. My nipples are red and sore for the first time in our nursing relationship. When I disengage her she'll wake and cry and kick and scream. Nothing but nursing will get her to calm down, and when I give up and let her nurse again I feel so much anger and resentment I just want to put her in another room and close the door and leave her there. Since we are all in the same room I feel a lot of pressure to keep her quiet and sleeping at night so her Dad gets enough rest to work. (He works full time, I work part time, so I can make due on less sleep)
We tried setting up her own room with her own big girl bed and making a special deal of it. It works during the day and for naps. She loves the idea of “her room” and loves to play in there and show it to people who come over. But at night she reverts back to the neediness and will not stay in her room. I tried for a few days to go back and forth to her when she cries at night – but I couldn't get her to nurse back to sleep in her own bed, so I eventually gave up to get some sleep.
I am out of ideas. Is this just another phase? Do I just have to suck it up and suffer for a few weeks with absolutely no sleep? Will it even work? She's almost two – should I just wean her? I don't really want to, and if she would go back to just wanting to nurse for the nourishment 2 or 3 times a night I wouldn't mind. Has anyone tried to substitute a bottle at this age? She's never had one and I know all the risks of tooth decay...and eventually I'd have to wean her from the bottle. But I need some boundaries and I need her to learn that I have a body and needs too and she can't just have everything she wants all the time. (we talk about these things and during the day she seems to understand, but at night if I say no she get completely frantic)
In the light of the day things don't seem so bad, but at 3am when my nipples are sore after hours of her nursing and wrestling around I feel like I am going to scream. Sometimes I feel like I want to leave her and her Dad to figure it out while I spend a week at a hotel!!
Please help me with some tips to make it through this without causing too much trauma for my DD!!
