I havent read all of the responses-i gleaned a little bit of 'well if mothers like you would actually teach their kids some manners...' kind of attitude, so wasnt inpsired to read further. I could be mistaken, and i want to thank everyone for offering their wisdom and especially those with experience of consesual living.
My kids probably are a little more daring than others, because they havent learned fear. This isnt a criticism of other people, or of anyone on this board, so please dont take it as such. On top of that, they probably have personality types that make disruptive bahviour more likely, but they are great in a playground. Being boys, also makes this more likely. (girls can be like this too, but from what i have observed, its less common)
I also think there is the fact that i dont have an overpowering personality. Some people are just more commanding, and it takes less effort for them to make others do what they want. Those people as parents, will experience less of what i am experiencing...thats just a theory, i dont know.
In some situations, its hugely impractical to 'leave'. But I certainly take any child of mine out of the room if they are disruptive. Its not like it just sit there and let them do what they are doing.I also get close to them and explain that behaviour is not ok, and that its important to be considerate of others.
But...that isnt really enough.
At home, my kids are great. We never have bedtime issues, we eat at the table together. They are considerate within the expectations of their age, because i emphasise consideration of others in their upbringing. Compassion and sensitivity rate very highly on my list of values. That is why, i detest engaging power struggles that involve physical force, and bossy or even manipulative behaviour. (That doesnt mean i dont see it as necessary sometimes.)
I also think that some of these 'child friendly' places are not as child friendly they say. I did go to one place where there was total acceptance of child like behaviour. Toys were strewn at the feet of worshippers, and children played with them in the crowd as people prayed. There was a general din, but it didnt bother those worshippers. If a child was really over the top-yes, take them out, But guess what, it didnt happen. Not even my boys. It was nice to let them be themselves in a place of prayer.
Ive talked about this with friends IRL as well. Ive received advice that i should 'discipline' these kids, with a spank on the bottom (which they claimed wasnt hitting).
Ive received other advice, which i found more helpful-to read up on personality differences in children, and to speak in greater detail *before* the event about my expectations. Some people on this board have suggested this too, and i have done it, but maybe i will do it more.
Sigh...i think i may be stuck with this behaviour until they grow out of it, because i do believe its more a personality issue.
Just my thoughts for now....
You have to know that my 5yo is actually a very considerate kid, and ive always considered him to be nicer than his peers. 2yo is a 2yo....
I like my style parenting.
What would naomi aldort say about this do you think, anyone?