I do appreciate the replies, but its sounds like the assumption is that i just let my kids disrupt everyone. I am a polite person, so i do not allow this, and i take them out. It is very very very very exhausting for me. I am trying to figure out why other parents just sit there, and so do their kids (most of them), while mine donT. Admittedly, my 5yo is usually ok, not always. He has matured a bit and maturity plays into this. But he can still act goofy while his peers wouldnt dare.
As for keeping my 2yo near me, you havent seen my 2yo. He is not your average clingy toddler. He is fearless, and runs off. It wouldnt matter how many times i grabbed him and kept him by my side. He would go off again. As long as i think he's safe, i cut him some slack. When it came to the playground, he repeatedly snuck back out again. He wouldnt take no for an answer. My 5yo was less interested, being 5, and found a pillar he could run around (that he wasnt supposed to) He found another 5yo friend to do the same. I let him because i couldnt see the harm, and was busy with 2yo.
Other kids tho, just wouldnt do it. I watch in amazement as 2 year olds stick by their caregiver. Especially girls. Mine dont do that.
I haven't read all the posts, yet.
A lot of behaviors happen because of temperament. People can't help the temperament they have and there are strengths and weaknesses for every temperament trait. It's our job as parents to help our kids develop their personal strengths. Having a high energy and outgoing toddler can be exhausting for a young child's parents, but being high energy and outgoing can help a person be a socially successful and productive person. Some of the other high energy outgoing preschoolers and toddlers just don't go to places where they can't behave appropriately. My 5 year old DD took a year long break from restaurants, indoor kids groups (like library story time) and most shopping when she was around two. She just was just too busy to be safe or behave appropriately at some places. We also started going to parks that had fences or were surrounded by very large fields. Sometimes one of us put her in the backpack when we went somewhere crowded. We still tried going to places but left at the first sign that she wasn't up for it. By the time she was 3, things were getting better and by 4 her self control and ability to listen was much more in place. I also don't think leaving if a person isn't able to behave appropriately is punitive. It's stressful being somewhere that is too structured or quiet for your temperament. We'd just do things that suited her better, going to places where she could run, climb and be noisy.
We have boundaries and rules but we don't use punishment at all. Our rules are about safety and being respectful of other people and they're family rules for everyone to follow not just DD. We do talk about behaviors and why things are a good idea or a bad idea. But at age two we usually just left if DD couldn't behave. For example when at a restaurant, one parent would take DD for a walk outside while the other would pay and get the food to take it home. Actually DD didn't really mind leaving when she wasn't able to stay in her seat in the booth and play with whatever we brought. If leaving annoyed anyone it was annoying for DH and I, but we figured DD couldn't help her temperament and would grow out of it. It seems we were right.
Find some places you can take your DSs that fit their temperaments better so it isn't so exhausting.
Edited by ssh - 11/18/10 at 6:16pm