This may be long..
I was online friends with a local woman who we ended up using as our doula. After my son was born the doula client relationship ended and we became friends. She was going through a rough time in her life (fertility issues and personal worth issues), and I feel like she really relied on my husband and I for support and we were glad to give it. This went on for month, probably about 6 months, we would get together for coffee or lunch, always somewhere she picked and talk, mostly about her. We had invited her and husband to many things that we were doing, including parties at our home, my son's christening, his birthday party and she would never come.
Over the last few months, we started going through fertility treatments for a second time and they weren't working the way they did the first time. I tried to talk to her about it, knowing she could relate and she totally blew me off. The next time we talked, I tried to talk about me again and same thing so I decided to distance myself because it was making me angry! She also started to get on my nerves with her FB post about being vegan - I know I should let whatever someone posts on FB get to me! but I did and we had a heated discussion about 'owning' your pets and ridiculous stuff like that, and after this she seemed to distance herself from me and focus on her vegan lifestyle (which I totally supported).
So, sure enough she's going through a tough time and emails me and asks if anything is wrong between me and her, so I told her how I felt. I don't know what I thought would happen, but her reaction was pretty negative (that was to be expected) and didn't address any of what I said about how I felt she hadn't been there for me, she only defended her lifestyle. which I never had a problem with. Her solution was to stop being friends in person and on FB.
I thought telling her how I felt would make me feel better.. I think it did, but it also ended up hurting me because I thought she would have tried to save our friendship.
Why do I feel bad about losing a friend who I thought wasn't being a very good friend?