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Homebirth Mama's March 26 - Page 3

post #41 of 163
So last night my partner was at a poker party with a bunch of guy friends and he came home and told me that an acquaintance of ours had just had their baby recently via cesarean, "apparently for a real reason" (as it was described to him) because the baby is presenting an arm and a leg. I think this probably means a transverse baby. I asked if she was induced, but he didn't know.

Then I went to watch his hockey game today and another acquaintance whose fiance just started playing on his team said that her sister (and the wife of another teammate) had just given birth to their baby this past Thursday three and half weeks early via cesarean because baby "was breech, but they knew that all along". She showed me a picture of the baby and said that both are healthy and just went home today and another acquaintance is with her now. And then as we were leaving, the dad of this new baby was there and had been playing hockey!

So two feelings came upon me: the first was why was the dad playing hockey three days after the birth of their baby????!!!!!????? And especially after a cesarean birth???????!!!!??????????

The second feeling: I'm sad for both of these women. I know every birth is beautiful, but I'm sad that because of the art of birth is being overtaken by technological assessment and intervention, they are now recovering from major abdominal surgery and healing themselves when their energy could be better used to nurture their baby.

Or maybe I'm just having empathy because I'm pregnant...??? It's a rather numbing feeling...

post #42 of 163
I just found out that a hosp in my area has a 42% c-section rate.

Ina May was here this weekend doing a workshop on bringing down the section rate (she came even though she was sick) and you know the one thing they we are all struggling to deal with is there are so many women who don't expect more from themselves and have decided that Dr's and husbands must know something they don't about their own bodies. We will never be successful until we can break through in that regard.
post #43 of 163
Hmmmm...the only thought that comes to my mind after hearing that story is - why the heck would you have a cesarean 3 weeks early for a breech baby??? That baby still couldve gone vertex.

I personally have had a csection for a breech and stupidly I let it be scheduled for 39 weeks instead of after labor started naturally. In my defense - 19 years old, single and dumb!!!

Also, I think csections are so common that most people dont think they are a big deal anymore. My then partner didnt help out afterwards except after he was off work (he didnt take any days off) and my mom only helped for a few days. Its a good thing I didnt have other children to take care of!
post #44 of 163
My cousin was told c's were the way to go. No muss no fuss. I call them open uterine surgeries when speaking to people to remind them it's a major abdominal surgery. After having one with DS and a vaginal birth I definately prefer the vaginal birth. The tearing healed faster than the scar and people forget underneath the scar is a whole lot of muscle that has to recover too.
post #45 of 163
mom2baldie: The mama went into labor in the early morning hours of Thursday. They had planned a hospital birth, so they went to the hospital and she dilated from 2 to 9 in just a few hours so they quickly scheduled the cesarean delivery for 8 that morning. It still makes me sad...

I know everyone here has different due times, but I've been experiencing some changes in body functions and I was wondering if anyone else has, too. First, every morning I wake up and my nose i full of dried snot that is mixed with a little blood. I've rarely had sensitive capillaries in my nose. Is this typical for late pregnancy? (I'm due late spring.) Second, the past few days I've been pooping twice a day and it's less formed, softer poops. I know that's typical, but I still have a couple of months to go...

On another note, I had a realization yesterday afternoon about my partner's family. We have purposefully NOT told them we are planning a homebirth because Bill's dad is a surgeon and overall, they are a much more medically-minded bunch than Bill and I are. Last weekend, Bill's dad asked to talk to me on the phone, to see how I was doing, feeling, etc. He asked if we knew what we were having and if we had had an ultrasound (no and no), and then we chatted a bit more and he ended the conversation with an offhanded comment about Bill not doing well in situations "like that" (meaning birth). I didn't think much of it, because I've been educating Bill about birth for about as long as I've been educating myself. No, he doesn't got to conferences or trainings or networking meetings, but he does have a pretty good base of knowledge about normal birth on land and in water. And yesterday afternoon, all of a sudden I realized why his dad had said that: Bill hates hospitals (so do I, but that's another story) and he thinks we are planning to birth this baby at a hospital! Bill is of the mind that if they don't ask the specific question, we don't have to tell them about our plans to homebirth. I sort of agree... I certainly don't need the stress of negative energy surrounding our birthing time at home, but overall, I'm not a very good secretive person. I definitely wear my heart on my sleeve and if you know me, you know how I feel and what I think. I also realized that I have to tell my mom that if perchance she does talk to Bill's family before the baby is born, could she please not mention our plans to homebirth. I hope this doesn't become an issue...

post #46 of 163
My grandma didn't find out that my dad had delivered me at home until 3 years ago! So it's possible to keep it a secret as long as you want, I guess. You don't even have to lie outright, since people will just assume.

I think I posted a while back about the dried blood snot thing, which I still have. Only now I am really sick, fever, sore throat, everything, and even more congested, so maybe the nose thing was just leading up to that. Hope it doesn't get anyone else!
post #47 of 163
I'm just 14 weeks, but I've got the snotty nose with a little blood first thing in the mornings thing too. I hope mine doesn't lead up to a nasty cold. Hope you feel better soon, Greaseball!

Claudia, I think purposely keeping it a secret would be hard on me too. How often do you see/talk to them?

So Molly, how did yesterday go? I've been thinking of you and wondering.

The whole unnecessary c-section thing really makes me sad too. I think, sadly, most women just don't see birth as a beautiful, natural process, rather they see it as something to avoid/ignore/manage as much as possible. I know I'm not the only one who has heard people who are glad they "get" to have a c-section or hoping for one.

Maria, so weird about your midwife!! Any word from her yet? I hope she is okay. You sound so calm. I am sure you will handle everything just perfectly, with or without her, but I sure do think it is strange that she has just disappeared right around your due date.

Mamaroni, Happy one week birthday to Karis!! I hope everything is going okay with dh back to work.

Tanja, thanks for the link on how to do a belly cast. I didn't do one with Noah but I do want to do one this time.

And I am definitely henna'ing this belly at least once! Dh gave me a henna kit from Dharma Trading Co. for Christmas and I can't wait to try it. We're going to the beach at the end of June so I think I'll do some then and then more in September, when my belly is so full and ripe. I'm hoping the stuff I do later will stay until baby's birth. I have this vision of me laboring on my deck in the tub and looking down on my big giant belly covered in henna!

It is so pretty and springy here today. I am loving it! Hope it is nice where you all are too!
post #48 of 163
Thread Starter 
.. Regarding blood in your nose..The increased blood volume may cause the small and sensitive vessels in your nose to break easily during pregnancy. It happened to me in all four pregnancies especially when it was dry in the house, (probably starts about the time when your blood volume doubles) as far as I have read it is common symptom in pregnancy.
And the pooping more often and looser stools thats pretty normal too.
On c-sections I was 16 going on 17 when I had my daughter (eleven years ago) and I had a perfect pregnancy and totally anticipated a natural birth at hospital (at the time i could never have afforded a midwife, now they are free with our healthcare) THen at 36 weeks I beleive my OB said baby was frank breech and I had no choice but a booked c-section. I bawled like a big baby and I probably cried for a good week after I was so dissapointed! I didnt know I had choices! Plus I was very alone, no partner and no parents to support me at all. So I went for my scheduled c-section and I truly beleive at that point she wasnt even breech anymore, for sure not a frank breech anyway because she didnt have her legs curled up to her ears like they said she would.
Anyway regardless, it was a painful experience and I was not treated very well in hospital at all. They forgot to give me pain medication after the surgery and I had an IV bag explode all over me. I had a hard time figuring out how to latch baby on myself, so they had me pump milk and promised they would cup feed her and ordered me to get some sleep and I woke up 7 hours later to find my baby in the nursery fast asleep and similac on her chart. I bawled like crazy!! I was sooo mad!!! Then they said I had p/p/d and wouldnt allow me any visitors.. IT was crazy..
The lack of control in this situation is unreal!
Regardless I went on to figure out breastfeeding after using a rubbery nipple shield for a short time and ended up breastfeeding successfully for three and half years!We also co-slept untill she was about five. Pretty good for being only 17! She never had a bottle or formula.
But back to topic , my three homebirths were so healing, amazing and empowering and left me in awe of the strength of women!
Where I live in Ontario I read recently that they are making c-sections an option, like for example and epidural being an option, They are just going over the legal wording of it now. Isnt that insane I was shocked when i heard that!! Imagine rather having major surgery!! What can you do though some people just dont want to listen!
Tanja mama to Raven 11, Jakob 4, Ben 2 and baby Maiya!
post #49 of 163
Tanja - ACOG just did it stateside saying that a woman has the right to choose how she can birth a child and that thanks to modern medicine surgery is no longer risky like it used to be. And then I saw some lame article in one of the mainstream magazines touting the whole things.

You have the right to choose what kind of intervention you want but try and go without and they all go batty.
post #50 of 163


can you guys check this out for me please?

post #51 of 163
Finally jumping in here, thanks for giving me the encouragement I needed, katje!

I have had six homebirths, but it looked like this pregnancy I needed a hospital birth. I had lots of miscarriages since my last living baby, and last year they finally discovered a fibroid, which was most likely interfering with implantation. Got the fibroid removed with a myomectomy, and when I woke up I got the 'c-section prescription' A bit traumatic.

And although I knew I was NOT going to have a c-section, I still believed for a while that it was better to go to the hospital, even although I was not totally happy with that choice.

Have been doing tons of research and soul searching, and last week I decided that I am going to stay home after all. Haven't told my midwife yet though. I might wait till after I have the meeting with the 'she needs a section' backup ob, want to see how that goes first. I just posted a letter to that ob in my blog (3/27 entry) if any one wants the long story of why a vaginal birth is just fine and why uterine rupture during labor is extremely unlikely.

So here I am, so happy to be back to home birthing, not sure yet whether it will be assisted or unassisted. Two of my babies arrived before the midwife did, so I would be fine either way.

post #52 of 163
Wow, I am off the computer for a weekend and three pages pop up!

Hi Karen! It is so wonderful to run into you again. Wishing you good luck with staying home. Follow what you feel is right! I cannot remember when you are due, the ttc days seem so long ago now.

My good friend just had a baby girl at home yesterday. It got me so excited about this birth! I am measuring a bit behind right now, not enough for worry, but of course it make my mind run. This is unusual for me as, with my girls, I was huge! I am so much more active this time around and this baby is transverse and low, so no worries. Perhaps this is a boy?

post #53 of 163
hey, molly! come back and tell us about the GOOD parts of your shower!

maria, has your midwife shown up yet? when my midwives have been MIA, it's been because they've been at a long or complicated labor... usually i get a call back after they get a couple hours of sleep, but a week? that's not cool! something is up and i hope you can track her down soon...

yay, karen! i'm glad you made it here... us older-moms-with-multiple-losses-and-mad-cake-baking-skillz gotta stick together! seriously, i've been sort of lurking on your blog and keeping an eye out for your posts, because you're ahead of me on a similar path... and if you can do it, maybe i can too!

it's a strange concept to me, to try to keep a homebirth a secret from someone. then again, i have no problems telling folks that they make the decisions for their kids, and i'll make them for mine, thank-you-very-much. i say, "i appreciate your concern; i'll keep that in mind" a lot for the more persistant ones, but i just don't argue. it's a case of them having a different opinion than me, and that's fine with me. nobody can force their opinion on me... i guess it would be a problem if dh was against it, but then again we probably wouldn't have gotten married if he had that kind of mindset!

lots of little kicks lately. so fun!

post #54 of 163
There's also the option of inviting the worriers to your birth. They probably won't show up, but if they do I'm sure they'd be jealous at how much more peaceful a homebirth is and how you get to do whatever you want and never hand over the baby and not have someone's hand on your cervix when you're trying to sleep.

And maybe they will learn something!
post #55 of 163
yes all, midwive has shown up!!! Thanks for all the concern.
Actually, there was no good reason except a busy life. She now has 2 others over due and me with an edd nextish week. She is sooooo cool and calm and really expects no problems. Me too, i feel whatever happens was just meant to be, meaning she will be here or not. Whatever. It really is all good at this point.

My dh and dd have that horrible stomache virus that is rampant around here. So I do not mind staying pregnant for a while longer, no hurries........

My only complaint is that I am soooo tired and I have not been to the Y in about a week. Yikes, I have been going 5 times a week this pregnany and can feel the extra cellulose building on my thighs lol-- thats just baby milk hahahahahaha.

Take care, that is about my limit on thinking in full sentences.
peace-- maria
post #56 of 163
I was wondering how everyone's food intake is? I'm having a hard time getting enough protein, and I worry. I read that I should be getting about 100 to 120 grams per day. Rarely do I get this amount. I don't have an appetite for meat at all, so this makes it hard. I've never been a big meat eater, but now that I'm needing so much protein I've been trying. Overall I enjoy fruit a lot, so I've been doing smoothies with protein powder, and lots of eggs. But you can only eat so much of these items. Lots of peanut butter on whole wheat bread. What does everyone else eat?

I sure am enjoying this thread. I love coming here and reading about how everyone is doing.

It's so great to hear about all the new babies that are arriving! I'm getting excited.

I've noticed that my energy is dwindling. I just entered my last trimester, so this must be why. I can't believe how quick this pregnancy is going.....

Love to all you Mama's!
post #57 of 163
Our whole house is a mess - I have not been able to keep anything down since Sat. and the kids just have runny diapers. Not so good on a sensitive stomach. On the other hand this little one is kicking up a storm and I had my first B-H - worried that may be because I am not staying very hydrated. It's weird for such a tiny belly to get so tight.

Can spring just come and stay?
post #58 of 163
We *just* got through a nasty, nasty week of the stomach flu over here, too. DS & I came down with it on the same night. It started with him puking all over me. It took me a while to figure out I was actually sick, too, and not just uneasy from that. We ended up taking DS to the hospital at 1am (he was barely waking up to puke, & was instantly asleep right after... I was so scared for him) The doctor gave Roland some Enfalyte, and then strongly suggested that I let him see me. When I started to blow him off, he just turned to DH & started talking to him instead. (I didn't have much time to be pissed off about that because I started puking again, and it was bloody, so I changed my mind about staying pretty quick :LOL ) So I got an IV. I didn't feel the baby move for nearly 1/2 a day, but then it started back up again & was back to normal really quickly... I don't think it had any fluid to swim in!!

I'M GOING TO RANT NOW. You may not want to read it.

It took DS & I a day or two to feel better, and then DH came down with it. It was then that I realized how little work he actually did when he was 'taking care' of Roland & I. He got me up at 9:30... 4 hours after we got home from the hospital, to take care of Roland while he went to the store for Pedialyte (I got him to pick up stuff for the b.r.a.t. diet we'd be on once we were well enough for solids) Fine. Thats fair. I don't expect him to take a sick baby to the grocery... but after he got home, he played on the computer until 2pm, while I took care of DS. (At 2pm, DS & I went back to bed for a nap) I got up at 5pm, and DS slept until 9pm. I actually woke him up... I wanted to give him something to drink before I went to bed. Then, since DS got up, I couldn't go back to bed, because DH wouldn't take care of him by himself. Luckily, DS was ready for bed again by 11pm. The first time DH puked, he gave ME the puke bucket to deal with, even though we were both in the bathroom (I walked there with him, because he said he was feeling light headed) and I realized that he didn't even know *how* to deal with it. I don't mind AT ALL that I had to deal with my own when I was sick... but that means I did ALL the cleaning up after DS, too? It hadn't even occurred to me.

It hasn't helped that he's such a sissy when he's sick. He got his dad to take him to the hospital, and the triage nurse all but sent him away, because he just plain wasn't sick enough to be going to the hospital!! (he hadn't even puked for over 12 hours at that point) AND he disregarded everything I said about not gulping fluids, then the b.r.a.t. diet... he had to hear it from a doctor. He carried a bucket around with him for 2 DAYS after he puked for the last time. He shat himself... twice. He's 27 years old!!! Apparently, it makes more sense to shit your pants than fart on the toilet. He's had the mildest case of the flu, and made the biggest fuss over it. Next time he gets sick, DS I are packing up & going to a Motel until he's better. I'm. Not. Kidding.

Things are back to normal today, I hope. If DH comes home early I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. He got sick on Saturday, so he's taken 3 1/2 days to 'recover' from a 24-hour bug. His only reason for staying home yesterday was that he didn't know what to bring for lunch (since the almighty doctor suggested a b.r.a.t. diet, he's been following it to a T... oh, but the doctor didn't actually use the term b.r.a.t, so it's NOT a b.r.a.t. diet, even though he's eating bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast)

I'm so glad it's over. I hope DH gets asked to work on Saturday.
post #59 of 163
Peaceful Mama- you sound just like me! Meat has been such a turn off. I have been eating beans, but I mostly want fruit. So I have been struggling with the protein intake too. We had a nice day of weather and dh barbequed, and I was actually able to eat some meat without gagging. Try eating more nuts and seeds. They are a nice compliment to fruits and will help out with the protein and also provide some other important things. Right now my favorite meal of the day is my snack after my walk which is two oranges and a large handful of walnuts.

HomebirthHarriet-I am so sorry you and ds son have been feeling so sick and have had little help. Sending you restful wellness thoughts

ketilave-wellness and restful vibes to you too! Staying hydrated can be so hard when sick. Try taking a drink of water everytime you go to the bathroom and kitchen. When so busy it is hard to remember to take a drink.

I am 24 weeks, the third trimester is getting so close! I have just started feeling uncomfortable when I sleep. I really need to do some futon shopping. We have been sleeping on a pile of blankets made into a palet for 7 years now. It is usually quite comfortable, but pregnancy changes things. I need some cushion! I am also waking at night and unable to get back to sleep for and hour or so. This has made me more tired during the day. Other than that I feel pretty normal and comfortable.

Love and Light,
post #60 of 163
Peaceful mama - I used to force myself to get 100 grams a day, but it really is hard. So I've been experimenting with how little I can eat, as long as it's over 70 grams. For one week I ate 80 grams a day and at the end of the week, baby measured 3 weeks ahead! So I guess for me 80 grams is fine. I have protein powder for when it looks like I won't get enough food, and also protein bars. I try to get at least 25 grams at breakfast - eggs, whole grain toast, yogurt - and that's a good start for the day. I also eat a lot of pasta, but some meat as well.

I've also been sick and have been eating almost nothing. I've lost 4 lbs already.

Our ped knows about our homebirth plans and is supportive! She says it's a very wise decision, although she also said she can't let her partners know she feels that way.
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