Homebirth Mama's March 26 - Page 5

[love2all]

Hey, what's up all. I am just checking in. If I do not have this baby in the next two hours, very unlikely, I will officailly be OVERDUE.hahahahahalol

what is in a number anyway? The only impatient person is dd. I feel i could wait a few more weeks if I have to but boy is the 8 yo ready to play little mama. For her sake, I wished to have the baby on time as it is her school break, but as I keep telling her, she was 15 days past the edd, her brother was 6 days past the edd, sooooooooo we may have to chill out a bit!!!!

Anyone else feeling it would be okay to stay preggo a while longer? i know this is my last baby and I am starting to feel a bit sad about never feeling someone growing inside of me again. Also, as much as I want to see baby, i know that it is a lot of work and right now i am just enjoying my 2 big kids.

[adventuregirl]

Its nice to hear you all talking about savoring pregnancy as this is my first and likely my last (as of now, we only want one). It helps on the days when it feels like its going slow and I want it to speed up.

I have been feeling out of place as a hands off homebirther in my due date threads, I feel like I'm the only one who isn't getting an u/s. And at almost 19 weeks, I think I'm the only one who hasn't heard my baby's hb yet. I feel really good about my choices, just a little out of place I guess. I know you all can understand.

Well, just wanted to check in, hope all is well with everyone else!

[mamaroni]

Maria! I'm thinking about you, and sending you peaceful and happy labor vibes (for when baby and you are ready )

I have heard other mamas say the same thing as you--that they'd be happy to stay preg for a while longer. I was so ready to be done, so I had the opposite experience, but I do know what you mean. I'm now feeling that, though, as I hold my newborn and know it's the last time for that. So, I hold her as much as possible and marvel at her beauty and wonder! I am so in love, for the 3rd time!

adventuregirl, I had a couple other homebirthers in my due date thread, as well as at least one UC'er. Are there ANY others in your thread at all? I do know what you mean? I was a bit surprised at how "medical" some of the mamas seemed to be, since this is MDC.

tanja, maiya sounds like she's doing just great! My dh will be off for his urologist consult very soon as well.

tabitha, hope you're doing well. here's a for ya!

peace mamas

[sweets]

Adventuregirl,

I too felt out of place on my due date thread but have found a happy home here with like minded folk who believe in the natural beauty of birthing.

[tanjarine]

Adventuregirl count me in too, on my expecting club thread i almost didnt exist, it was so weird i was almost getting a complex about it!! Seriously no one ever responded to anything I said and I was just being nice and socialable@@!!
Thinking of you too Maria!!

Its so nice to chat with mamas I have alot more in common with and I love the friendly support here!

Dh's vasectomy is May14, when he told me i started to cry because its so soon, he said it would be very financially irresponsible of us to have more children and left it at that. He said that afterwards he is supposed to lay on the couch allll weekend till monday and he will be fine.. Hmmm I dont remember getting to lay on the couch for 2 days after i had a baby@@!!! I dont know what we are going to do that weekend to stop 2 little boys from jumping on dad while he is laying on the couch, looks like im going to have to find somewhere else to spend the weekend!
Tanja
~me~

[Mummoth]

2 DAYS?!? What a joke! Dig his cup out of his sports gear for him.

[mollyeilis]

adventuregirl, I'm active on another board altogether, and I'm the ONLY one that didn't have ultrasounds up the wazoo. Not that I had any, I have had none (doppler included of course).

I just heard the heartbeat at last through the fetoscope, at 35 weeks, and it was SO worth it! I've had stuffy ears this whole pregnancy, so I'm sure I could have heard it before with clear ears, but as it was I had to wait.

I decided to "go for it" and posted about how great it was to hear the heart itself, not a mechanical version of it. : The sound of silence and then the defensiveness ("doppler was an amazing sound, too!" and I had actually acknowledged that in my post) were stunning.

I'm so alone over there...but it's more active there and keeps the days interesting, so I don't leave.

****

I've been gathering my birth items, tonight I pick up the official "kit". I have to go count old towels, to see how many we actually need to buy (from Goodwill or something similar).

[tanjarine]

thanks Harriet!! Your post made me smile! I remember reading your post about when your family was sick and i can totally relate!
What can i say dh is a super duper big lazy suck and such a hypochondriac and he would loooooooove to have an excuse to lay on the couch for 2.5 days without being yelled at. I said oo man if you are going to be laying around for 2 days at least stay upstairs in bed so i wont be responsible for keeping the kids off of you and he pouted and said well only if you bring my food to me in bed all weekend.. geez louise let me wipe your bum too!
Men!
After Maiya was born dh's boss gave him the week off with pay, the first day HE needed a nap all afternoon and the second day he spent trying to fix something on the computer after promising to take the boys somewhere. So on the third day i made him go back to work!
Even after my huge episiotomy with ds2 I was up and on my own all day taking care of the house and kids.
Tanja mama to Raven 11, Jakob 4, Ben 2 and baby Maiya!

[Greaseball]

That's really not fair. And I don't even think it's true. All the literature I've read says men may need one day of taking it easy - take the day off work, no sex, no heavy lifting, etc. - not two days of bedrest!

How does he know you won't be able to afford more children later? If you don't even want him to have the vas then he shouldn't expect you to wait on him, especially if he did not wait on you when you needed it.

No wonder women are the ones who have babies...the divine power or whatever knew in advance men would not be able to handle it!

[tanjarine]

I know I know..! You can bet he will soak it up for all its worth after with the moaning and groaning.
Well what can i say, he is probably right that financially its not a great idea, we are just squeaking by right now with me staying home, and beleive me i have become the queen of frugal living and i havent bought myself a thing in forever!! Plus four kids is alot at times too, although i know the wild and crazy years are short. BUt as far as parenting responsibilities/housework go I do all of that myself, dont get me wrong he loooves us and is great that way, but he has never changed any baby diapers unless i was totally unavailable (he hasnt even changed maiyas diaper yet) He grew up in a home where mom did everything and dad worked and that was it so thats his model for life sadly. He is turning 39 next month so he feels thats too old for more kids (im'28 and feeling i would like at least one more)But maybe im just baby crazy.. Maiya is soooooooo lovely and soo sweet and she has been so easy. She hardly ever makes a peep and i have never even had to sit up at night with her, she just nurses and snuggles back to sleep with me. I am sooo in love with her!
If men ever had to have babies everyone would be only children!
Tanja

[mamaroni]

Originally posted by Greaseball
All the literature I've read says men may need one day of taking it easy - take the day off work, no sex, no heavy lifting, etc. - not two days of bedrest!

This is what I've always heard, too.

[love2all]

Adventuregirl- ditto, it is hard on the due date clubs sometimes but that is what this homebirth page is for. I will admit to having way different opinions of things then most of the mamas in my club, but I have lesrned alot from them- mostly about me being accepting of how other women make choices that they feel are best for them, even when I am way far away from agreement. So in this way it has been good for me and I have found some friends to really laugh with and appreciate!!

Tanja- maybe dh will surprise you and be up and about when he realizes 'oh, this is nothing'hahahahahahaha lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good luck mamas, stay in touch
Patiently awaiting the pleasure of giving birth--Maria

[chrissy]

Hey mamas,

tanja, what a tough situation! i hope either he changes his mind or you come to peace with it before may 14th. i know i will feel very conflicted when we decide we are done even if i feel and know it is the best thing for us.

maria, i bet you don't have long. sounds like you have a trend going towards closer to your due date. you sound so peaceful and calm about the whole thing. awesome! i hope to be the same way when my "due date" comes around.

tabitha, of course we are not upset about you focusing more on yourself, your baby and the rest of your family!! pregnancy is such a good time for that. i would offer to take over the website if i thought i could do it but i am so not good at that stuff. i seem to have a mental block against it. i can't even figure out how to get pictures from my camera to my computer. perhaps i could learn though if no one else is up to it.

i had a great appointment yesterday with my midwife. measuring just ahead of schedule. heard baby's heartbeat and everything is looking good. i recently read a thread here on mdc about previous 4th degree tears and it kind of freaked me out (since i had one with noah) so we talked about that some. my m/w was very reassuring and not worried about it at all. we talked about some strategies to reduce the risk of tearing too. it was all good. i so love my meetings with her! i am already so excited about this baby's birth.

well, noah needs me. love to all,
chrissy

[adventuregirl]

Thanks ladies, this is a great group! Don't get me wrong, I do love everyone on my due date thread, they are fun and I learn a lot from them everyday, I just have felt recently like an oddball over the u/s issue. I really am in no way judging them, I have respect for everyone's decisions, I just never expected to feel so out of the ordinary at MDC.

Mamaroni - there are two (regulars at least) other homebirthers on the thread, so that's great (Hi Chrissy & Lynsey!).

Tanja, I'm glad you have your sweet little girl to savor while you are unhappy about dh's vas. That's a hard spot to be in when you aren't in agreement. Best wishes to you.

[cottonwood]

Adventuregirl, I'm on the September board too.

[TurboClaudia]

About the due date threads... since this baby might be born at the end of May or the beginning of June, I started out reading/posting on both those threads. Well, on one of them, one week half the posts were everyone trying to apologize and be diplomatic to one person on behalf of another person's post and it became a total blown-out proportion miscommunication and in the case of one person, she simply did not want to hear that things are any different in the world than she believes them to be. I publicly announced that I was resigning from that thread, and to be honest, it made me feel kind of down that the majority of them didn't seem to care. I tell myself it doesn't really matter since most of them are much more medically-minded than I am, but sometimes it bugs me. And I find it sad sometimes that I avoid posting on threads started by the one person who originally got offended and really doesn't want to hear facts that don't support her agenda.

Now that I have THAT out of my system...

Received my homebirth supply kit yesterday. Just have to collect the other assorted things we need for the birth (towels, hydrogen peroxide, hose, etc.) and we'll be that much closer!

I didn't sleep very well last night. I've been having lots of Braxton-Hicks and my pillow arrangement sometimes makes them more uncomfortable than usual. And I had lots of heartburn that even a glass of warm milk couldn't get rid of... grrrr...... ended up watching a TiVo'd episode of Ellen at 4:30 in the morning and fell asleep on the couch before the end of it. Went back to bed again. Oh well. At least I was awake at 4:30 when my mom and dad called from the airport in New York after my dad found out they weren't really coming to visit us here but instead were going to the Bahamas as a surprise 60th birthday present... he sounded really excited and we are relieved to not have to keep this big secret any longer! My mom's been planning this for almost a year!

I have no appetite to eat and not much desire to drink liquids either. I know I have to and I force myself to eat high protein things when I do get a hungry feeling, but my tummy feels so questionable most of the time and I really hate puking... I can't even cry freely because it activates my gag reflex and makes me feel like puking... even more grrrrrrrs... I'm a Moon Child, dammit! Let me cry in peace!

I think my cats sense something is changing... one followed me into the bedroom last night while Bill was still working out on the couch (strange for this cat to do this) and now they are both sitting by the window here in our office... hmmm... what do they smell?

warmly,
claudia

[Greaseball]

I don't understand why I need 4 large bath towels for the birth kit. The baby should only need one, right? And I also need two washcloths and 4 blankets. Anyone know what all that stuff will be used for?

[tanjarine]

Hi Greaseball
I needed I think 8 towels and 16 washcloths for my birth kit.The towels they used to pad the table that they used for laying out the oxygen and recusetation (sp) equipment, and for coming in and out of the bath etc.. and wrapping baby in. The washcloths in my experiences have been for warm perineal compressess which i found really helpful during pushing, the midwives have done that for me everytime. I think the warmth of the compress brings more circulation and elasticity to the area, I even had a huge episiotomy scar from my 2cd homebirth and it didnt tear at all and they were sure it would since it fell apart afterwards and was restitiched at 6 weeks.
I just borrowed old dark towels from family and we didnt even use half of them but its nice to have them if you need them. The washcloths they wanted to be new, but they are pretty cheap anywhere.
In Ontario are birth kits are free from our midwives , but we have to provide the extra list of supplies like towels, peroxide, olive oil, etc
Hope that helps!
Tanja

[mollyeilis]

Oh claudia I have the same symptoms going on. I'm learning the art of sleeping while sitting up, which I'm not happy with but it's better than misery.

I too just got my birth kit, it's in a pretty basket and each major component is wrapped in tissue paper. Since the midwives will know what's what I'm just leaving it like that, which is almost like showing a kid wrapped presents but not letting them open them.

Since I'll have the fishy pool for labor (if I want to get in it), I have to have TEN towels on hand! And ten washcloths. We bought the washcloths but just discovered that we do have ten old towels. Excellent...

Now if only I can figure out what the crockpot is for...I'm imagining it's for tea, since ginger is also on the list. : I, of course, was imagining all sorts of other things that would be going in the crockpot but hubby pulled me out of that.

[Mummoth]

I *think* the crockpot might be for warming the vitamin E or olive oil. The only thing I have left to do for my birth kit is gather the things that are already in the house (which may prove to be more of an ordeal than the trip to the store was! :LOL )