Another pacifier thread

[quietmim]

My sweet little one is almost eighteen months old.  She has been using the pacifier at night and for naps only for months.  She has been struggling these last few weeks with a cold, teething, and sleep issues.  Now she asks for the paci when she is upset.  I have been relieved to read posts here that don't condemn the pacifier at her age, but I also don't want her to start increasing the amount she uses it at this point.  Part of me is impressed that she asks for it when she needs to calm down, that she is able to soothe herself, so to speak, albeit with a tool.

What do you think?  Should I put my foot down and let her roll on the floor crying for the thing? I haven't done that at this point, and I am not sure I could.  Does anyone think that is appropriate here?  Will she give it up when she is ready?  I was actually confortable with just for bed, not so much during the day when she gets sad or frustrated.  Also, when she will be 23 months a new sibling will be arriving.  I wouldn't want to limit it then if I haven't been all along, so I am feeling a little pressure.  Oh, and a neighbor made a comment that she seemed old for the "binkie."  hmmm

TIA.

[Cheshire]

I wouldn't get in a power struggle - she knows what she wants.  If you make a big deal out of it then it might turn into a bigger deal.  Ignore your neighbor's comments and follow your gut instincts.

My 15 month old loves her paci.  Her brother, who is now 6, loved his as well but he started having dental issues when he was about 18 months old, maybe a little older.  So, we knew we had to get rid of it but wanted to do it gently.  So, we introduced him to the idea of the paci fairy.  After talking about it for a week or two and when he seemed receptive we moved forward with it.  We gathered up all of his pacis one night, put them in a basket for the fairy and the next morning he woke up and found the fairy had left him a toy and taken his pacis.  He asked for one a few times after that but he didn't have a fit over it - we just reminded him about the train he had received.  Maybe not very AP but it worked for him (and for us). 

We're taking a wait and see approach with our daughter.  We figure she'll outgrow it when she's ready and if she starts having the same teeth problems her brother had we will probably try the paci fairy again.

Best wishes!

[quietmim]

Thanks for your response.  Can I ask what dental issues?  I guess it is time to make an appointment with the dentist.  Then I'll know for sure that it is necessary to remove it.  Also, that fairy idea...  DD is more verbal that other children her age that I know, but it is hard for me to imagine her grasping the fairy concept.  Am I underestimating her?

[Cheshire]

He started having bite issues.  He was (and still is) very verbal for his age.  At six he is way ahead of others his age on the conversation front. 

You could always talk with her about it to gauge her apprehension of the concept.  Or, just wait it out.  Trust your gut - you'll know what to do because no one knows your daughter like you do.

[K1329]

Both of my kids used their pacifiers until about 3.5. IMO, no big deal. They used it at night only, as they got older, but, at 18 months usually walked around with them all day long! It helped sooth them, and, I know alot of 6 yo + kids that still suck their thumbs, so, I had no worries about the paci. I was happy they used it instead of a finger or thumb! Ignore others opinions and do what works best for you and your child. If you have another on the way, and big changes coming for your lo, you might want to consider waiting.

Our dentist said that most bite issues from using a pacifier self correct and seemed not worried about pacifier use in a toddler. Neither of my kids have had any dental issues due to pacifier use, that I'm aware of, anyway.

Good luck!

[Ava's Mama]

Don't know if this helps...My SIL is a dental hygenist and she poked holes in the paci for her DS and he threw the paci in the garbage himself within 7 days.  I guess just so you know that when you decide enough is enough there is a pretty simple way out!

[pbjmama]

I'm a binky mama. I don't have a problem with kids having binkies in general. My ds had one until almost 4.5, with many attempts to give it up along the way. I believe he needed it until he gave it up. And I tried alot including cutting it and it did not phase him one bit, he stick sucked that thing. My dd is now 2.5 and going strong with the bink. I'm not in a hurry for her to get rid of it. Re: the neighbor, they should mind their own buiness. 

[YayJennie]

My 20 month old loves his "baba", ALWAYS needs it to sleep, uses it most of the time when he's in the car, and if he asks for it (which he does fairly regularly...once a day probably when we're hanging out at home) I always give it to him.  I don't let him take it into stores or on errands, only because I'm afraid he'll lose it.  And I don't let him have it when we go on outings like playgroups or to the museum or play places, because I want him interacting and talking to other kids, not sucking on his pacifier.  But really, if we're home and he's upset, or he is teething, or he just asks for it because he wants it, I'm completely fine with that.  I have no problem with him using it for as long as he needs.  It's just another thing that they will give up when they're ready, and I am all about baby/toddler-led weaning,  Which includes weaning from a pacifier