potty training troubles

[maisiedotes]

ETA: sorry- that should read "potty learning troubles"

DD, who just turned 3, started using the potty right after she turned 2.  But only if she was naked from the waist down.  As soon as she had panties, trainers, etc on, she would wet them.  I explained that "this isn't a diaper, they are big girl panties because you are a big girl now.  Don't get them wet!  if you have to go, you run to the potty and tell me and I will help you".. well, a year later, we are still at the same stage.  Yesterday she wet through 4 pairs of panties.  She made no attempt to tell me she had to go potty.  I have tried everything- sticker chart, tons of praise, rewards... we got her the panties she picked out, coax her by telling her that her girl cousins whom she totally worships don't peep in their panties, etc. Nothing is working.  Oh- and she has no issue at all being wet.  She hates wearing a diaper and having it changed, to the point where if she poops in a diaper she runs and hides so I won't change her.  ick.  Oh, and I ask her frequently if she has to go potty and she always says "no mommy, I am fine" but within 10 minutes she is wetting her pants.

Is she just not ready?  Or am I missing a step somewhere in here?  Thanks for any suggestions.

[lavatea]

I really wish I could offer some words of wisdom, but alas, your DD is doing better than my DS (who will sit on the potty if I take him but will.not.use.it). to you. We'll get through it. What I keep telling myself is what I heard/read somewhere long before I even tried to train DS - you don't see many kindergarteners in diapers. At some point they just get it, I guess.

One thing, maybe instead of asking if she's ok you could just take her every so often? Set a timer or something maybe? And make sure she practices taking her panties down and pulling them back up. I know some kids have difficulty with that.

[~Amy~]

I would stop asking her if she needs to go.  DS will always say "no" if I ask him, even if he really does need to go.  Instead remind her constantly to tell you.  Give her the responsibility.  Keep her close and when you see that she's starting to pee, rush her to the potty, but don't force her to sit on it.  If she sits, that's great.  If she goes, even better (at this point, you can give a reward or praise if you're into those).  We found it helpful with DS to clear our calendar and really focus on PLing for a few days.  He caught on very quickly, despite lack of any typical "readiness" signs.

[bella99]

I'm still new to this, but we're almost a month into my daughter peeing on the potty every time.  She turned 2 on 11/7 and aside from naps and bedtime, spends her days in underwear.  I agree with stop asking.  We starting going to the potty every hour.  When it's time, we tell her, and bring her to the potty.  Most times, when we tell her, she just stops what she is doing and follows me to the bathroom (or wherever her potty is), but occasionally, I have to lead her.   Asking her if she needed or wanted to go didn't work, I just started tell her it was time and we went. 

Of course, pooping is a whole other story.  The idea of pooping on the potty makes the kid so anxious, that we keep a diaper handy when she tells us she has to poop, so we can offer it to her.