Constant status reports

[AtYourCervices]

It started with my oldest child (age 12). When she was younger I was an overly attentive mom. I had to know where she was in the house at all times. I hovered. So my daughter learned to notify me whenever she went into another room. She'd tell me when she was using the bathroom. She'd tell me when she was getting herself a drink. She'd tell me when she was taking a nap. She'd tell me when she was going to watch TV. She'd tell me when she was going to read a book.

My other kids developed this same habit from her example. I get "status reports" every 2 minutes ALL DAY LONG. 

"I'm going to go pee!"

"You don't have to announce it."

"I'm going to take a bath!" 

"That's fine... but you don't have to tell me that."

"I'm going to get myself a drink of water."

"You don't have to notify me that you're getting water."

"I'm going to go poop."

"REALLY?!"

I've tried sitting down with the kids and telling them they can't keep doing this. My husband has snapped at them a few times (when the 9 y/o tried to give us status updates when my husband and I were being intimate). I've even locked myself in my bedroom a few times to escape the constant updates. Of course that didn't work, because the kids just knocked on the door and yelled through the door what their next moves were. 

I really want my children to be independent. I want 5 minutes where I don't get a status update. Oftentimes I'll tell the kids to watch a movie, hoping it will distract them long enough that I can read a page from a book without an update.

Has anybody else dealt with this? How do you handle it?

[BFandHS]

Wow, I can see how that could get annoying.   I don't know what else you could do except for continuing to remind them that they don't have to tell you.  I hope someone else has more ideas. 

[Attached2Elijah]

Maybe I'm mean... but I would totally turn the tables on them and start doing it to them. EVERY single time I got up to do something, I would announce it. Even the stuff they don't want to hear... then when they start complaining, remind them how many times you've told them the same thing. ;)

[MusicianDad]

For what it's worth, DD is big on status reports. She thinks I have not each and every thing she does all day, that includes an entire run down of her school day from the time she steps out of the house until the moment she gets back. Which means she usually talks for at least 30 minutes straight upon coming home and I have intimate knowledge of what goes on at school. She is also a very independent person.

One thing we did start doing, which has helped somewhat, is schedule in regular updates. That way all the status reports come at the same time, instead of as they happen.

Or you could get all the kids their own twitter accounts... 

[camracrazy]

LOL Is my oldest at your house?

She does this ALL THE TIME. It drives me bonkers. And she cannot simply answer a question with a yes or no. It has to be a 5-10 minute long perusal of every time this particular thing you are asking about has happened to her in her life and what she did in those other situations. It is completely maddening!

Sometimes I end up covering my ears and saying, "Okay, okay, okay" until she stops, but you are probably looking for better advise that that!

[Smokering]

She must be a natural at Facebook.

Right now I'm wondering if I've created a monster by responding to DD's every comment. She's only two, but she seems to have learned that the most banal statement, from "She's got a white dress!' to "That's a fire truck!", should be met with an enthusiastic response. Not just "mm", but "Yes, she DOES have a white dress! Isn't it pretty?", or "Ooh, it is. I wonder where it's going." And she likes to comment on everything... so it's starting to get taxing. She'll just repeat the statement until I make the appropriate noises to indicate the insightfulness and depth of her remark. So I feel your pain, kinda. :p

She notifies me when she's leaving the room too - even if she's still in my line of sight, because our house is open-plan - often with solicitous concern that I should be deprived of her presence. "OK, mummy, I'm just goin' a kitchen. I'll be back soon. You stay here, OK?" And sometimes she tacks an "I love you" on the end. If she should get murdered by pirates on the way to the sink, it's good to know that she won't have left anything unsaid, and I'll have a complete statement to give to the police. But still...

[annamama]

Originally Posted by Smokering 
. "OK, mummy, I'm just goin' a kitchen. I'll be back soon. You stay here, OK?" And sometimes she tacks an "I love you" on the end. If she should get murdered by pirates on the way to the sink, it's good to know that she won't have left anything unsaid, and I'll have a complete statement to give to the police. But still...

That made me LOL literally!
 

[laohaire]

I get a lot of chatter and also not a few demands sprinkled in for good measure. It can get old, fast. Here's where she's got me good. When I'm feeling exasperated I might answer the 1000th "Mom?" with a "WHAT?" I don't know if this is a strategy of hers or if I just manage to get frustrated at the wrong time, but she'll then say "I love you Mom" and I'll feel like Asshat Mom Of The Year.

She really got me good about a month ago. We were going to the YMCA for a swim lesson. She was blabbing the whole car ride and I was tired of her demanding constant attention from me. We got out of the car and were walking up the Y steps and she goes, "Mom?" And without thinking, just reacting because it was the last Mom? I could take, I did the "sigh, WHAT??" thing - right when another mom and her kids were coming out the door. And DD of course goes "I love you, Mom" and I wanted to die.

The other mom was one who seems really AP, I think she homeschools, and I was hoping we might strike up a friendship. Boy I really showed my AP side to her that day (not).