Originally Posted by beenmum
I think I would avoid being confrontational. The CPS is the LAST group of people I am gonna throw attitude at. Why? B/c they have the irght to remove your child.
The workers go by the gold standard "People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing."
Nothing peeks their "Something is hinky" meter more then a parent who refuses them entry when they are there to ensure your childs safety.
I would love to say "They have no formed opinion about you prior to meeting you.". But thats not necessarily true. They drive up your road collecting subconscious data. You live in a nice upper class area...they are less likly to be invasive from the oneset. You live in a lower class area, they are more likily to be insistant.
However, they are there b/c they have been called to check on your childs welfare.
The very least thing you should do is refuse them. That isnt going to get you anywhere. TO them its like admitting guilt.
In their mind...they dont want to be there. Half the time the case is already closed in their mind (oh, its some nosey neighbour, or the kid probably fell off the bed and hit his head." )
They arent going in assuming its abuse. They dont want the headache of removing a kid. They dont like it. they want it to be nothing. They have 40 more visits to get through that week.
But the minute they bring their overworked butts up to that door...and you say "No way. Show me your warrent. Your not seeing or talking to my kid." Then you have just placed a bullseye on your and your kids heads.
B/c they ARE going to get in. And now they are goign in with the info that you had soemthing to hide.
See, this is not how I see it. In my experience, I should not have to open my life to a stranger in my door way, I don't care if they say they are there for the sake of my children. I have nothing to hide. Yet, that does not mean I have to hide nothing from them. It is my house, my children, my life. My family is safe, my children are safe, and the allegations had nothing to do with my house. I was not admitting guilt. And I had a bulls-eye on my head before she rang the door bell. I am a large, "religious" family, in a poor neighborhood, that does not vax, homebirths, homeschools, cosleeps, and had a disabled daughter due to an at-home accident some time before. I was a string of red flags. There was no way I was going to open my door to such an antagonistic person who was out to "get" me. And to be honest, even if she wasn't antagonistic, I am not sure I would have opened my door to her. She had not right into my house. And the allegations had NOTHING to do with my home. If they had, I would have "proved" them wrong by allowing a "look-see". But since they were solely allegations of me "neglecting" my children by allowing them to play "unsupervised" in MY FRONT YARD (mind you, there were six of them, the youngest was 18mth, but the oldest was 17), there was no reason for her to enter my home to "prove" my case. (My explanation, my children's confirmation of events, and the confirmation from the neighbor children were plenty of "proof" if she had been searching for it.)
Not letting them INTO my home is not the same as not letting them see or talk to my children and check on their welfare.
They are NOT going to get in my home without a warrant. There is no reason to open myself up to undue stress and scrutiny just because some busybody lied to a hot-line operator. And I am innocent until proven guilty.
BTW, the CPS workers in my area (where this incident happened) do NOT go by the gold standard "People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing". Instead, they go by their standard, "If I am here there is a reason and I am going to find it". I mean, even after my case got closed as unfounded, she sent another CPS worker to my door insisting that I HAD to participate in this voluntary program to help my family because I could use the help. Ummm. I. Don't. Think. So! She DESPERATELY wanted into our lives. And if I had agreed to this voluntary program, I would have been committed to allowing them bi-weekly visits for 18 months! Not to mention the "surprise" visits every month. That is what I was PRESSURED and THREATENED to get into VOLUNTARILY.
BTW, I was also talking to a lawyer while she was talking to the police insisting on entry. He specifically told us NOT to let her in. Even he could hear the antagonism in her voice and said she would find something whether there was anything to find or not.
Asserting my rights, in a very polite fassion does not make me look like I am hiding something. Even the police man that I did not allow into my house was very kind and did not feel that I was hiding something. He took my side and wished me a good day when he left.