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Neighbors calling CPS just to harrass us... - Page 5

post #81 of 84

I strongly agree that their goal should be to remove both the mum and the child together. But in cases where the mum chooses not to leave, then the child shoudlnt have to remain there and be a witness to that behaviour.

 

I'm sorry you did not get the support you needed. Comming from a professional stand point that is unacceptable.

 

I'm in Ontario, so I dont know about the states CPS protocal. Just what we do up here. And that was a new mandate in the late 1990's to remove children from abusive relationships. It would shock you to know how many women stay in abusive relationships even when their kids have been removed. So the best thing to do is to remove both mum and child. But when the mum is not willing, the child needs to be protected.

 

I myself was in an abusive relationship. I have used CAS and have had ot used against me. It is not perfect. Far from it.

 

post #82 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by beenmum View Post
 It would shock you to know how many women stay in abusive relationships even when their kids have been removed. So the best thing to do is to remove both mum and child. But when the mum is not willing, the child needs to be protected.

 



The guy that abused me was removed from his home as a child because his mother refused to leave her abusive boyfriend. :( And unfortunately I don't think being in foster care was much better seeing as he ended up abusing me.

 

(Sorry guess that's kind of random to the conversation, continue on!)

post #83 of 84



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by beenmum View Post
 It would shock you to know how many women stay in abusive relationships even when their kids have been removed. So the best thing to do is to remove both mum and child. But when the mum is not willing, the child needs to be protected.

 



The guy that abused me was removed from his home as a child because his mother refused to leave her abusive boyfriend. :( And unfortunately I don't think being in foster care was much better seeing as he ended up abusing me.

 

(Sorry guess that's kind of random to the conversation, continue on!)


Sounds like you blame foster care for your abuser's abuse, not the fact that he witnessed abuse before he was taken into care.  That's a lot unfair to all the awesome foster parents out there.
 

post #84 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishmommy View Post



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by beenmum View Post
 It would shock you to know how many women stay in abusive relationships even when their kids have been removed. So the best thing to do is to remove both mum and child. But when the mum is not willing, the child needs to be protected.

 



The guy that abused me was removed from his home as a child because his mother refused to leave her abusive boyfriend. :( And unfortunately I don't think being in foster care was much better seeing as he ended up abusing me.

 

(Sorry guess that's kind of random to the conversation, continue on!)


Sounds like you blame foster care for your abuser's abuse, not the fact that he witnessed abuse before he was taken into care.  That's a lot unfair to all the awesome foster parents out there.
 


No no... sorry I was typing quickly because DS was driving me nuts. I'm sure witnessing abuse & being abused (before going into foster care) was a big part of why he became abusive... and unfortunately he had a couple of really bad foster homes so that just made things worse. I know there are great foster parents out there & even some of the less great ones are likely better than being an abusive home, sorry if I offended anyone.

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