Is harder going from 1 to 2 kids or from 2 to 3?

[JFTB1177]

I am 30 weeks pregnant with #3 and a bit worried about how it'll be when baby comes. My kids are 4 and a half and 20 months. It was kind of rough the first few months after my 2nd was born (my oldest had some jealousy issues, trying to learn to juggle two kids, etc) so I am worried 3 is going to be chaotic lol! Can someone please reassure me? But be honest.

So... those of you that have 3 or more kids, was it harder going from 1 to 2 or from 2 to 3?

[Stayseeliz]

Hmmm. It really wasn't hard going from 1-2 or 2-3. I'm more worried about going from 3-4 in the spring. lol Just know your limitations and keep expectations low for the first six months and you'll be fine.

[GretchenC]

1 to 2 was harder for us. For some reason adding #3 didn't increase the chaos only the sleep deprivation!

[beckwith]

I felt like I lost more brain cells going from 2 to 3 :)  Definitely had to become more organized on a day to day basis.  Then again, mine were all age 3 and under...a lot of that time is a big blur!  Now I'm going from 3 to 4...a friend of mine with 4 said to me today that it's like going from 3 to 100!!

[spatulagirl]

Going from 1-2 was tough for me. I was really nervous about going from 2 to 3 but it was a breeze, except for the sleep deprivation and the lost brain cells PP mentioned.

I am not nervous about going from 3 to 4. It will be chaotic and I am expecting that but I don't think it will be that bad. Wishful thinking?

[Stayseeliz]

ACK!!! 3 to 100??? I hope not! I'm hoping the fact that mine are a little older might help. My kids will be 9, 7 and 3 1/2 when the baby is born and my older two are already a big help.

 

Originally Posted by beckwith 

I felt like I lost more brain cells going from 2 to 3 :)  Definitely had to become more organized on a day to day basis.  Then again, mine were all age 3 and under...a lot of that time is a big blur!  Now I'm going from 3 to 4...a friend of mine with 4 said to me today that it's like going from 3 to 100!!

[sewingsparklz]

I would say going from 2 to 3 is easier. The older two have already learned that Mommy is shared! And you have learned how to multi-love. And multi-care for. And multi-change diapers.

PLUS! And this is big for me. #1 and #2 have each other to play with! Makes a huge difference!

[Beverly]

For us, going from 1 to 2 was absolutely the hardest.  2 to 3 was a breeze, really, and 3 to 4 was mostly okay (our then youngest took it pretty hard, but that was a personality thing more than a numbers thing).  Now we're going from 4 to 5, and I'm not really worried at all ... I'm just bracing myself for more chaos and less sleep!

[MyFullHouse]

2 to 3 was the hardest for me, sorry!

But there were so many factors involved.  My oldest was starting school and going through autism evaluations, 2 and 3 were only 13 months apart, it was a complete surprise pregnancy, we were in a tiny apartment, money was really tight, and dh and I actually went through a round of counseling.

Despite it being harder, we made it through just fine, which is the important part!

3 to 4 was much simpler after that.  4 to 5 is causing a bit of anxiety though, lol.

[kawa kamuri]

my first three are 4 and 5 years apart so neither were difficult for me. the fourth baby was when it all got chaotic 

[JFTB1177]

Thanks SO much ladies for all of the replies! I see that it really varies, but many of you said going from 2 to 3 was not bad so that makes me feel a LOT better! :-)

I would still love to hear from more of you and whether it was harder going from 1 to 2! Thanks!

[ibusymomto5]

Going from 1 to 2 was definitely my hardest transition. I think it depends on the age spread, though. My oldest was only 2 and still in diapers, couldn't get her own drink or get herself dressed, etc, so it was very tough trying to juggle constantly nursing a nb and meeting a 2yo's needs as well.

Going from 2 to 3 was easy for me, but we had an over 4yr gap between our 2nd and 3rd and oldest dd was very much a mother hen, responsible type who could fix sandwiches, get drinks for her and her sister, help with laundry, and entertain the baby for short spells without me fearing she would get too rough with her.

Each transition since then has been increasingly more easy, probably because I have so many older helpers.

[nadia105]

2 to 3 was the hardest for us, but there were a lot of other factors at play at the time -- DH got switched to overnights a couple weeks before ds was born  andhe started a master's degree when ds was 3 months old.  That left me with three kids under 4 all getting up at 5 am, since DH wasn't home yet and had to sleep after that -- that led to some LONG days.  The good news was that the hard part didn't last forever, we did find a groove that worked for us and it got lots smoother.

[nova22]

I was more nervous about going from two to three because I knew my husband and I would be officially outnumbered. I no longer had room on my lap for all my kids or enough hands to hold all my kids' hands. However, fro me, that was one of the easiest transitions. Maybe it was because my third was so mellow, or maybe it was because I was more experienced, or maybe it was because my first one was so incredibly high-maintenance that any subsequent children seemed easy in comparison, but I have found that each transition gets easier and easier as we have more kids.

Personally, I think 0-1 was harder than any other transition.

[FoxintheSnow]

The hardest by far was going 0-1 for me. 1-2 was easy for me (relatively speaking) Im worried about 2-3 because my second born is very challenging.

[feelinhot]

My hardest was from 0-1 too.  I thought 2-3 was pretty easy but #2 was such an easy baby.  I thought 2-3 wasn't too bad but the older two were a bit older and they helped me out some.  I'm hoping 3-4 isn't like 3-100.  I'm a little nervous this time.

[Hope4six]

The hardest for me for was going from 1 to 2.  But my first two were my closest pregnancies, also.  With one kid, it's just not that big of a deal, you can still pick up and go pretty much, but when you've got two in carseats and diapers, it just changes everything.

However, my house didn't really fall apart until after #3 came along.LOL  I kept it under control until she was a few months old, but it slid downhill.  If it hadn't been for Flylady, we would have lived in chaos from then on!

Going from 3 to 4 was an easy transition, and 4 to 5 was even easier.  But once you have older children to be extra hands (and I home school, so they are always around), it just isn't as stressful to have a baby.  And, for me, I got more and more content to simply stay home.  The biggest hassle is getting them all ready to go somewhere, but the older kids can help the younger ones.  I usually only have to worry about myself and the "baby".  Once the twins are born, I will only need to worry about them, and my toddler will be someone else's responsibility when it's time to go out.;-)  And that's if she isn't taking care of herself by then; she's pretty independent.

So I will warn you that the ages between your #2 and #3 are a prime age for jealousy issues.  Right around 2yo seemed to be about the worst time for kids to handle a new sibling.  Three to three and a half seems to be a prime time, from my experience.  They are old enough to feel that they don't need much babying, and can welcome a younger sibling with open arms.  At 1yo, they don't seem to care too much about a sibling, so that works, too, if you can handle having two babies!LOL  I've never had a spread longer than 3 1/2 years, so I can't speak to that.

[Liora]

I shouldn't have opened this thread since I"m going from 1 to 3 with no 2 in between!  :)  Think of that and it will help calm you!