Should I return to home schooling my daughter?

[Lisa1970]

The saga is continuing at my teens' school. The math teacher is the biggest problem. He is not teaching. He spends much of his time on the computer playing. He frequently leaves the room for who knows why. My daughter is quite advanced in math and I feel like her math education is being ruined. Even my son, who is a slacker child big time, says this is too much slacking for him. He is frustrated. Neither child wants to stay in that class. My son wants to stay at that school, but wants out of that class. My daughter hates it to no end and wants to leave and return to home schooling. She is in the process of applying to private schools and I am worried that switching around might look bad to the private schools she is applying to. But she is miserable! Frankly, I am disgusted by how the "education" is at this school. 

What would you do? Tell her to stick it out for the year and transfer her next year or pull her out at the semester break and not worry about what the private schools she is applying to will think? I should add that the applications are all due by the semester break anyway so they might not even know that she transferred until after the admissions decisions have been made.

[LauraLoo]

Originally Posted by Lisa1970 

 But she is miserable! Frankly, I am disgusted by how the "education" is at this school. 

What would you do? Tell her to stick it out for the year and transfer her next year or pull her out at the semester break and not worry about what the private schools she is applying to will think? 

She is miserable.  She isn't learning anything.  Is there any possible advantage for keeping her in school to the end of the year?  I realize that your concern is that private schools possibly may think that she's popping around a bit, but IMHO, keeping her in this situation is likely to be significantly more damaging to her in more ways than one.  She's bright and capable -- and she wants to learn.  This is far more appealing to a school than you may think it is.

I'd pull her at semester break, if not before.

[Linda on the move]

Why did you stop homeschooling? I know from not just this thread, but lots of others, that the situation she is in really isn't working for her. But would be going back to homeschooling be going back to something that she's tried before and didn't work? Would you do something different this time?

If her first choice is a private school, how long will she need to wait to find out if she's in? It seems like figuring out what she'll do for homeschooling, getting the books, etc. would take a little time. If she might be able to start at a private school at semester break, I might ask her to stick it out. But I don't see exactly how miserable she is every day, and I wouldn't leave my teen DD miserable for very long.

Is she old enough that she could just start taking community college classes next term? Is just skipping the rest of highschool an option?

I'm so sorry that she's going through this. I can't imagine how tired and frustrated you all must feel at this point.

[sunnmama]

If your dd hates school overall to no end and wants out, I'd pull her out.  I wouldn't let uncertainty about private school admission lead me to keep my child somewhere she is miserable or unsafe.  But that assumes significant issues-- more than dissatisfaction.

But I wouldn't make any drastic changes over a single math class.  Her math education is not being ruined by a single lousy class, I assure you!  I had a lousy hs math teacher for 1.5 years.  I detested that sexist, lazy, condescending man.  My math grades suffered for that period of time, but my math education did not.  Just last week, I was tutoring a friend in statistics :p

[mattemma04]

I doubt the private school would care.Many families go private due to the poor results in public schools. I would pull and homeschool till your child is where they want to be. I pulled my kids out of public. I had to wait a few months to get one in,and till the next year to get the other in the private school.

If the school will not switch out your son's math class then I would let the school know you will have to pull your son out.Perhaps losing the state money they get for your son being in school might make them reconsider a class change. If not then it is up to your son whether he sticks with the wasteful class,or homeschools and returns the next year.

I think there is an online rating system for teachers.I would find it and put in a rating on this math teacher!

[LynnS6]

She's miserable. She's not learning. She's staying there because......???

On private school applications you can say "School X was not a good fit for dd because...." and explain it that way. If you change schools every year, then I think either you need to look at your school selection process or your expectations. It could be that no school will ever fit your expectations for your dd and homeschooling would be better for her. If that's the case, I think you'd be better off making that decision sooner rather than later.

[Linda on the move]

On the "private schools won't care" thing, I wonder if it makes a difference if a child has changed several times. I think everyone understands a school being a poor fit, but if a child has done something different every year, do schools start to eventually question if it's the child/family and not the situation?

My kids are in a private school that does a 3 day visit before admitting kids. They really don't want kids to start if it isn't a good match. I wonder if some private schools try to figure out that just on the application.

(there are some kids at our school who changed school frequently before starting there, it isn't held against them. But the 3 day visit is very important and not all kids who do the visit are admitted)

[frugalmum]

I took my children's requests to return to homeschooling very seriously.  Especially for a teen I think they can make this decision for themselves, assuming they are reasonably mature and responsible.  If she wants to homeschool then I would let her choose.  My children returned to homeschooling at their request at ages 7, 11, and 12 respectively (they are older now).  One other daughter was ambivalent about leaving school but insists now she wants to be homeschooled. 

[eepster]

Exactly how much moving around has there been?  It isn't just a question of the applications to the private schools for next year that you need to think about, it is also how it will look on college applications in a couple of years.  When the admissions officer sees so much changing schools,he might start to think she just has no perseverance.  I understand that there was a very good reason for the move out of the local school, and I know why you wish to leave this school,but holding out till the end of the year does show an ability to face not ideal situations with a certain amount of endurance.  An extra switch to home schooling at this point will make one worry about what will happen when she faces her first major challenge in college.

I say "stick it out."  You can possibly find her some kind of after school math she could do to stay sharp.  Maybe take a class at a community college, or an advanced online math class.  Those will look much better on college applications than just giving up when it gets tough.  (I know home schooling is not giving up, but I think it may be perceived that way.)

[Lisa1970]

Homeschooling was ok. It is just that she reached the point where we were doing higher level courses where I wanted her going elsewhere for these classes. I know once in high school, it tends to be an all or nothing thing. So if you home school, 9th grade, they often won't take the credits as transfer if you try to send them back to school for 10th. I was tired of paying for tons of classes and driving her lots of places. She really is ready for college level work, but has been adament that she will not go to college early. The local community colleges no longer allow anyone under 16 yrs old. It just seemed too overwhelming to me to home school high school.