Do you think I'll get a VISIT?

[5gifts]

Yep, that kind of visit - from CPS. I've never participated in those 'should I call' threads - and in 18 years of parenting cps has never been on my radar, or me in theirs.

Today I let my 12.5 yo DD watch my 5.5 yo DS at the park for an hour. I had to talk to an insurance guy & big brother had a violin lesson - I was never more than 2 miles away. The park is right in town, small rural community. (but not by the downtown area with sidewalks/stores. No one is just walking by in that area) Not near any housing; never see loiterers there. It was 2:30 - a sunny, calm day 60 degrees. Parents were just showing up after picking kids up from school. We've had 2 days of rain, so many kids playing was a sure thing. (We all had been at the chiro from 1:30-2:15, and 5yo asked to play at the park. We go every once in a while, and I've left 3 or 4 of them there without me - oldest is 17 - maybe twice before in the past 2 years)

I didn't have the slightest thought that someone would have a problem with this. Violin was done at 3:30 & we headed back to the park, in no hurry. As I'm about to turn in DD calls me. She says 'good thing your here, a police officer is here'. Trying to make this short...they were behaving just fine, officer didn't seem too concerned...but a lady called in that they were left for 3 hours (she yelled at me 'you dropped them off at 1:00!) ...and that the 5yo was barefooted....he had his cowboy boots with him. There's more detail, but the boys want a story...He took lots of info down, asked lots of questions...kept emphasizing 'we just want to know that you take care of your kids.' The lady walked over to my van where we were talking & said "Your not going to do anything? Your not going to arrest her!?!"

I had my 4 mo baby too..8 & 17 yo ds's were at home....I won't be surprised if I get a visit...Your thoughts?

[Honey693]

I'm pretty sure the babysitting age here is 12 so I'd look up and see if there's one of those for your state.  If there is I wouldn't worry.  Heck I wouldn't worry anyway.  I bet CPS has way more to worry about than *gasp* barefoot kids at the park and big sisters watching little brothers.

[waiting2bemommy]

that is just...stupid. yeah you might get a visit but that is the dumbest thing.

Where I live, you can drop off your child at th library or rec center with anyone 12 or older to watch them, during any hours that the facility is open. So hypothetically your 5 yo could be there for 11 hrs a day (from 10 AM to 9 PM) with just your 12 yo in charge. That sounds way worse to me than what you just desci=ribed. Not to mention that in our old neighborhood my almost 3 yo used to go to the park without me with a pack of kids ranging in age from 2 to  9 years old. granted the park was almost directly in my line of sight from the house and you could hear the kids if they yelled, but still he went without me. I can't imagine why a 12 yo and 5 yo wouldn't be safe together. Some 12 yo's are paid babysitters.

[JBaxter]

answers.com

As far as I am aware, there are no laws defining an age for babysitting. If you are in a professional care setting, such as a day care, there are licensing regulations for the business you work for. But for informal home care of children, I don't believe the age is set down in law in any state.

[mamalisa]

Good gracious, people really don't have anything to do these days. If I saw a 12 and 5 year old at the park I'd be thrilled. Our parks are a ghost town. Arrest you for what? Letting your kids play? Insanity and any CPS worker that found a reason to follow up on a call that kids were at the park playing barefoot should lose their job. Even if it ws three hours (which you can prove it wasn't) isn't a bad thing. It's a GOOD thing to play at the park!!!

[Honey693]

http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm

It looks like most stages don't have age limits on when you can be left home alone so I wouldn't worry about a babysitting age.

[LynnS6]

Your 12 year old was babysitting your 5 year old and someone called the cops? I sure hope your 12 year old looks really really young for her age, otherwise, I can't fathom why someone would call the cops! (And you left her with a cell phone, so she could get ahold of you!)

[5gifts]

I know that I didn't break any laws, but its the whole appearance of it. It seems this lady got the whole playground worked up over it. The officer said 'several people were upset'. My DD handled it very well. She said the busy body & another lady were asking her about her family. After they asked 'Is your mother married?' and 'Do you all have different fathers'...she decided to answer further questions with 'And why do you need this information?' The busy body left, and when DD saw her return, she guided ds to sit with her at this little puppet theater under some of the equipment - and told him not to answer questions if the adults come over. So when the officer showed up about this point, and came over to them...ds stepped out, pointed to his sister and said 'talk to her!' She said it was funny : ) The officer started to question her, and she just said 'would you like me to call my mom?' - that's when I showed up.

I just hate that we might get checked on...we have plenty of connections in this community...lots of people know we are a good family with great kids : ) But this old farm house is quite a construction zone at the moment...a visit would just be...ummm...'interesting'. As soon as we got home, we did a total clean-up of the front porch. Its a big wrap around, this is a working farm, and we are a big messy family. I'm almost done taking care of the shoes, socks, jackets, boxes of books, hand-me-down clothes, gloves, hats, leashes, ropes, halters, clutter - down the front hallway to the kitchen. And gave it a badly needed sweeping! The piano is cleaned off, but here is a table covered in stuff. Bathrooms down here are ok, kitchen is fine - other than 1 cluttered pass through counter...and only plywood for floor & half the cabinets gone. Ours & DD's rooms are in the front of the house down here. Her's is the 1 completed project so far - just refinished the old wood floor & put her room back together - its beautiful! My room - old bare wood floor looks bad, we tore up gross carpet. The little boys hauled their stray legos & toys upstairs. I must work hard to clean up in here - its a mess! With no LR this is the hang out spot. We are 5 in a king size bed! But there is a pack n play set up for baby...and bunkbeds upstairs the little boys don't sleep in. DD & my neice slept in them all summer while we fixed her room. With no storage at the moment, lots of STUFF is piled up! Will make my bedroom good by tomorrow! The living room is huge & completely taped off right now...DH just this weekend sistered more beams/joists in the ceiling, sealed it off with plastic and is screwing osb board up for a ceiling. (we ripped out a nasty drop ceiling) The floor...there is no floor...old wood sub floor in one corner, 12ft wide concrete (old porch) peremiter...and open to the dirt in between.

Upstairs...well I never go up there! Big open room,with lots of toys & bunkbeds. Also 2 bedrooms each with own bathroom for my teen boys. Bound to be messy! I forsee kids picking up toys all morning...and stray clothes, cups/plates ect... I hope the big boys' rooms aren't too bad. Wow, this house is very 'lived in'! So far, thanks for the reasurance that I wasn't doing something way off base, leaving them to play!

[5gifts]

She doesn't look 'young' - She is very tall, but not yet developed.

The first thing I said to the cop was 'I'm sorry, is it not ok to let a 12 yo babysit a 5 yo at the park for an hour?'

He said 'well she's 11'...so the busy body must have assumed that was her age. I said 'No! She'll be 13 in March.'

Now if we were visiting a park in Atlanta or Chattanooga, I wouldn't let them out of my site! But we are totally not city people...out of my comfort zone!

[ElliesMomma]

wow times have changed.

Edited by ElliesMomma - 5/29/11 at 12:05am

[lilyka]

I have had to speak to an officer before when a crazy lady called the police on my naked baby.  (we were in a secluded spot and baby wet her pants.  she was 2. )  He opened with " I know this is dumb"  Part of his concern was that if he didn't come and talk to us that lady would take matters into her own hands.  she was aggressive and demanding that something be done.  He knew that coming out and doing something would protect us from her.  I doubt anything will come of your little encounter.  You did not do anything wrong and it is clear to see there was a crazy busy body exaggerating things to make a scene.  I Mean for petes sake, my kids walk to the park for at those ages or less.  our parks are full of little kids with no parents.

[tink79]

I started babysitting *all the time* when I was 11.  I loved it, had a regular all day every Saturday job with 2 little girls (started when they were 2 and 5) and we regular walked up to the park, alone.

I guess times have changed but wow, what a busy body, nosy lady trying to start trouble.  I wouldn't be concerned, your 12 year old is aloud to watch your 5 year old.  IMO, a 12 year old is much more likely than an older teenage sitter to pay special attention and appreciate her "job" as babysitter because she is young and eager. 

[mamazee]

My guess would be that the police officer felt like it was a waste of his time and nothing more will come of it.  What a busy-body.

[Youngfrankenstein]

No, I do not think you'll get a visit.  When my  dd was almost 3, she was outside and walked down the front of the sidewalk in front on the neighbor's house.  I was around the corner out of sight in my driveway.  A woman driving down the street saw her and pulled over, picked her up, and called the police.  So when I noticed she was missing, I headed out to the front of the house and saw her holding dd across the street and the police were pulling up.  Of course her shoe had fallen off.  He took my name and what-not and I was worried I'd get a visit or a call but nothing every happened.  I felt very bad because she was undersupervised but I really hated having to give my name to the police...

[cappuccinosmom]

If it was me, I'd keep cleaning up just in case, 'cause I worry.

But it sounds like the busy-body made a fool of herself, and the officer probably won't pass it on to CPS if he didn't seem concerned at the moment.  I'd be much, much more concerned if the busy-body had acted like a sweet, reasonable, concerned citizen.  She acted like a jerk, and that'll probably work in your favor, because it's really hard to take someone seriously when they behave like that. 

[TiredX2]

You definately shouldn't get a visit.

I think you should have definately mentioned that it was IMPOSSIBLE for them to have been there.  The "lady" said they had been there 3 hours.  "That's odd officer, because we were at an appointment until 2:15 and it's only 3:45 now."  Just to make it more obvious that it was *her* issue.

That would *really* bother me.  I hope you're okay and the kids weren't too scared.  I feel so bad for them having to hide from that woman--- did she really think she was helping?!?!  It sounds like your DD did a great job of protecting DS in the situation.

[5gifts]

When he was done talking to me, he went & talked to her at her car for a long time...and they were still talking as I drove off...I waved bye to the officer. I'm just worried that she wanted something done so bad, that he'd assure her some one will check up on us just in case...blah!

I thought I'd play devil's advocate here : ) What if I posted the extreme of what she might have thought based on appearences. What would you think?

Here goes:

Some lady pulled up to the play ground today, let 2 young kids out & just drove off. The girl looked older elementry, and the other - I think it was a girl looked like should be in school, but talked babyish & was hard to understand. The little one was dresses on baggy green sweat pants & a camo long sleave shirt. Even had a funny looking christmas colored knitt hat on...but get this - NO SHOES!! He was even coughing. Found out latter he was a boy. The sister had some boots with her for him that looked HUGE, deffinately not his size. The girl had these tickets she was selling for a breakfast with Santa she said the girl scouts were doing. I talked to them a bit about where their mom was, and when she didn't come back, I called the police. They did a drive by, but did nothing! The kids must have been hungry being left there for hours! They were eating granola bars. So I left to go find someone & came back with the police. Don't you think they should DO SOMETHING?! I mean you can't just leave your kids like that!

OK, so I made up what this lady might say - I have no Idea what else she may have thought of the situation. DS was coughing some, both my little guys are - but they are not sick. I was just talking to the chiro about it - my throat is scratchy. We've been stirring up alot of dust in the house right now, as we work to seal it up, fix it up/clean up. DD did have tickets in her purse for a santa B-fast - the GS service unit is doing. $5 a person who is eating. She loves selling & will talk to anyone with confidence. (she's big time cookie seller, always is complimented on her poise & gets lots of job offers at businesses LOL!) Anyway, when they first got there DD talked to her,  she said the lady wanted ticket but didn't have the money then. DD gave her my cell # if she would like to get in touch for tickets. I'm not sure how it went down after that - other than DD said the lady would come back over & ask questions DD didn't feel comfortable with. And DD regretted giving her my #. Her & DS were just running around playing with other little boys.

So really, that lady could have called me. I told DD giving out my # was fine. She does it all the time with cookie selling - lots of her customers call for more, or to meet somewhere. (she sells 1100-1300 boxes) It's the only # the kids are allowed to give out - I'm the only one to answer that phone & its always on me because of my chicken house business. They don't give out the home phone or other cell #'s. (like if they sell/buy something off CL or adults from their activities want to get hold of them - its through my phone) None of my kids has a cell phone, or their own e-mail/ FB for that matter. They do everything through mine. We have 1 extra cell phone for catching chicken house alarms - we call it the 'kids phone'  Nobody has that # - not even my mom. It shares minutes, so they can call home, mom, or dad. If someone is going off on a bike ride, or we are splitting up in town - they take the black cell phone.

Ok - baby girl fell asleep naking...so that got long LOL!