Originally Posted by philomom
Women with lame partners, maybe. My dh was Bradley trained and was an amazing amount of support and comfort to me. Not once did anyone in the room suggest anything to me. I had gloriously intervention free, drug free births.
I find this offensive. My DH is not lame because his desire to support my wish was at war with his desire to fix my pain.
Originally Posted by fireHC11
Recently I learned, from a yet-unpublished study, that women that had their spouse present during birth were much more likely to choose pharmacological methods of pain relief.
I pose these two questions to you, empowered birthing women:
1) Why is there such a correlation?
2) What can we women do to better prepare our partners?
My theory is that birth partners, no matter how prepared, break down when seeing the woman they love in labor. Maybe they recommend drugs when the time comes. Maybe they just don't discourage it. Maybe they stand around, paralyzed, unable to help.
And as far as what we can do to help... I have no idea.
What do you think?
I have given birth 3 times, first as a single mom, no epidural, second married, with an epidural and third, married, no epidural. I didn't want the epidural with #2, but I caved after being asked just once. He never pressed, only asked. When I was pg with #3, we discussed it at length. And your theory is EXACTLY what he told me. It's one thing to "know" that the woman you love is going to be in a lot of pain, it's another to be in that moment experiencing it. He never recommended it, never pushed it, he only asked once. He just felt really helpless, like nothing he was doing to support me was working (it was, but it can be hard to tell, you know.) With the third, I knew I didn't want an epidural, and we had a lot of conversations about it. And in the end, he didn't ask. I almost caved anyway, but ran out of time.