I'm sitting here, wondering if I should pick up the phone and call my doctor and admit to having possible post partum depression issues ...
I guess joining this forum and writing this post is my first step really. Like most people, I hate to bother the doctor if nothing is wrong ...
coupled with the fact that admitting to having mental issues is a hard thing to do.
My daughter was born 7 weeks ago, after 24 hours of labor, they finally took her via c-section. I love her to pieces, but I'm not myself anymore.
I feel sad a lot, I never seem to laugh much anymore and when I do it feels like its forced and not genuine on my part.I get mad a lot, at little things that shouldn't bother me, and I feel just a sense of apathy, like I could sit on the couch and watch TV all day long and that would be OK while the world passes me by.
I am bonding with my daughter, but sometimes I feel guilty almost, it's silly, over bringing her into this world, especially when she's asleep and she looks so innocent and I can't even pinpoint what it is about those moments that make me feel guilty.
And I feel guilty over other issues to, such as making her take a nap just so I can have some time alone (even though napping is GOOD for babies! See, logically, I can't figure myself out either...)
Anyway, I guess Im looking for validation that what I'm feeling may be postpartum related, even though I have a suspicion it might be.
As far as thoughts on suicide and death, I'm not actively seeking them. However... should the subject of death enter my mind, either via random topics on the news or something like that, I don't fear it like I should be, and that scares me. Is there anyone else who thinks like that?
Well, thanks for reading this. I've not brought this concerned up to anybody yet. I'm normally a very closed off person, I don't talk about
myself much at all, and I tend not to tell anyone when I feel sick of any kind so this is a big step. The fact that I'm crying right now while I'm writing this is probably a clue that something is wrong anyway...
Thank you all, I hope to find a good support group to exchange thoughts with.
Also, who am I supposed to call about all this? My obgyn or my regular doctor?