RSVP ettiquette question... (food allergies/ special diets) - Page 3

[CCJWGM]

We are gluten, dairy, and soy free.  At parties I RSVP as normal and contact the host/hostess to find out what the menu is.  I do not expect them to change the menu or accommodate.  I simply do that so I can match it with our own food.  If finding out the menu is impossible I just make something special and bring it. 

[VisionaryMom]

With all 3 of the end of the season sports parties, we were told that the coach was buying the pizza, and we were all welcome to bring other snacks for the kids (this was sent by e-mail).  2 of the coaches bought all pepperoni pizzas from Dominoes, and 1 of the coaches bought a mix of plain and other pizzas from Papa John's. 

Yes, when DH has coached, we've paid for the end-of-the-year party. It's usually about $100 after tip for pizza & drinks for everyone. I draw the line at buying other things for the adults, though DH thought that made us look cheap. So, yeah, I can see how someone would say "hmm, deal on pepperoni pizza? That's what we'll do." 

We always, always ask for dietary restrictions. We had 2 times when people didn't respond to that request and then showed up with their own food, and I found that incredibly rude. I am a good hostess, and I will go out of my way to provide you with what you need to eat. But...I can see how some people might not. We have a diverse group of friends who are very thoughtful about their food choices, so I'm aware that we probably have a tougher time accommodating than most folks. If I still lived where I grew up, for instance, I probably would never have anyone with special diets at my house because I can't think of a single person I knew who was vegetarian or vegan or who had religious restrictions. Back when I was a kid, only one person I knew had a severe nut allergy. So I also get how someone may not consider other diets. 
 

[SilverLace]

When I am hosting, I do make an effort to ask and happily have something for everyone.  However, that is a personal preference based on loving to cook and being familiar with food allergies and other food issues.

Unless asked, then I take it upon myself to happily work with what is available.  And teach those manners to my kids.  I guess I don't want food to be a really charged issue, at home or out and so my response is in part based on that.