20 month old wakes a lot and sits up crying mama

[kfillmore]

I sleep with my nursing DD. She does sometimes have a hard time getting to sleep. But our real issue (MY issue) is her waking up. The pattern is approx.-asleep around 8:30, wake 12:00 and pee and nurse. Then again around 3:00 and then just about every hour until 7:00.

The hardest part is that almost every waking is like this: stir for a couple seconds, sit up and  say "mama" in a slightly concerned voice and sometimes crying. I am next to her in bed by the way. FYI she tosses and turn a lot and moves around in the bed (and doesn't wake up).

I am so tired and have a hard time managing life on the worst days. We have worked with Pantley pull-off and that is why she now sleeps for for so many hours in the beginning of the night. I still pull-off but she has to be pretty much asleep before she will stay off nipple (otherwise she grabs on like a little baboon)

I don't know why she wakes the way she does. I don't know how to do the pull-off better in case she wakes so upset becasue she need nipple. 

Any ideas?

[blithespirit]

Hi Mama. I can relate to your agony.  Actually, until last night I was having issues with my nursing DD (29 months old).  It was made a bit more challenging by a new baby (7 months old).  I night weaned my daughter before the baby was born.  It was very difficult but we eventually were able to do it.  When the baby came, we had a period of time with frequent wakings and sceaming.  I finally learned to lay DD on my belly, belly to belly and rub her back and calm her down.  I did not give her the breast but I let her hold them.  She did a lot of crying early in the morning for milk. 

Last night was the first night my daughter slept in her own room.  She wanted to sleep in her "reading nest" I had built for story time and so I let her.  She slept all night long and is there again.  I feel both sad and relieved.  I'm wishing I could re-do some of my night-time parenting because I was not always calm and good natured.  Sometimes I was a little bit grouchy :( 

I think that part of the problem was that my daughter was awakened constantly by us all moving around in the bed and this caused her sleep to be worse.  Is there a chance that this might be an issue.  We'll see how tonight plays out for my daughter.  If she sleeps through the night, I might really start thinking it was a "too close for comfort"type of situation.  Her sister sleeps half the night in the co-sleeper because she sleeps better in there.  Older DD refused the co-sleeper after baby came.

Good luck to you.  I don't know that anything I have said will be helpful but I want you to know someone hears you and understands.  I hope that helps.  Hugs to you!

[nukuspot]

Wow, your post sounds exactly like my nighttime life.  DD is 19 mo and wakes up at about the same times, same frequency, sitting up or on all fours with her eyes closed still yelling "Mommy".  Or "Nurse".  I'm right there next to her so she shouldn't freak out like that.  We still nightnurse---A LOT!

I wanted to ask what the "Pantley pull off" is?  Sounds interesting.  I have a hard time getting my nipple out of DD's mouth during nightnursing and also naps.  It feels like an art form and I'd love tips.

[JMJ]

I have a very similar situation.  Here are some things that help me.

-A sidecarred crib: She can do her flopping around in there and come back when she needs to cuddle.  I get more sleep.

-switching breasts regularly: The Pantley pull-off does not work for us.  The only way to get her to let go most of the time is to overwhelm her with another let-down, and she'll roll over and let go.

-Going to bed when she goes to bed: Her biggest chunk of sleep is at the beginning of the night.  If I miss that, I'm only trying to sleep for the wake up every hour stuff.  I do a lot better with at least 1 larger chunk of sleep.  I usually have some time in the morning to myself before she gets up, and if it's an especially terrible night, I can just sleep late with her to make sure I get enough sleep.

-naps: I nap with her most days, even if it just means laying down with her for half an hour and reading, I get some rest in the middle of the day to give me energy to face the rest of the day.

-attitude: Sometimes it's hard, but I have so many memories of being a kid and waking up in the night not feeling well or worried about something, and feeling very alone because I knew my parents would rather sleep.  (not that they were being at all unreasonable)  I'm so glad that I can be right there with my daughter to address her concerns quickly so that she does not have to spend the agonizing hours that I did as a child.

[kfillmore]

Nukuspot- the pull off is from No Cry Sleep Solution. I really like the book even though I have not done most of it.

p.s. that is a GREAT picture as your icon or whatever you call it.

[ainh]

I bit the bullet and nightweaned my 22 month old.  It was hellish the first few nights, but he's really old enough that he understood.  I explained that we'd hug and cuddle in the night, but no nursing until he'd had "a few really long sleeps".  I nurse him at about 4am now and that's it before he wakes for good at 6 or 7am.  I also started putting him to sleep at the start of the night without fully rocking/nursing him to sleep.  In some totally bizarre move he actually started falling asleep on his own...I had to check on something downstairs and told him I come back up, but that he might be asleep already and he did fall asleep on his own.  I had a friend that always said "I'll come back once you're sleeping" and I thought it was perposterous, but it actually worked...it was like he knew it okay because I'd come back, even if he fell asleep.