quick question for montessori parents

[davidsmom184]

I've got a son with PDD-NOS, who is almost 3. I've read that kids on the spectrum have been accepted to Montessori schools, but I'm concerned that the fact that my son doesn't talk at age level might be a hinderance to his acceptance and/or being a good fit.

I've read that kids are partnered up, and. Thus, my worry. Should I wait before enrolling David?

[AllyRae]

They aren't really "partnered up" or at least not in DS's montessori school.  But they are in mixed age classrooms--so 3-5 year olds, 6-8 year olds, etc.  My son has autism and is behind socially and was pretty far behind in conversational skills/social communication (although his vocabulary has been quite good.  He still is behind in appropriately using it--he has a huge vocabulary and has tested into the gifted category for language but has difficulty communicating thoughts to other people in a way that the other person can understand them...it's like he knows the words, he knows how to say them, but it gets lost when he tries to say them to other people in a conversational sense.)

That being said, he has done very well in Montessori.  In the early years, they don't need to come in with a huge vocabulary or a lot of communication skills, especially at 3 years old.  It will come...  For DS, the mixed ages were a blessing because cognitively, he worked a couple years ahead, but socially he was always at the lower end of the range, so there was always someone "at his level", as well as always someone above his level that could pull him up a bit.  He is very well accepted at school (although for some reason, there seems to be a pretty high percentage of "quirky" kids at his school....there are only 3 autistic children in the school, but there are quite a few that come in with sensory difficulties or IEPs of some sort, and then there are others who are just quirky by nature), so he doesn't reIally "stick out" so to speak.  I think the mixed age groups help because if you're behind, you don't stick out as being behind, because there are kids at the younger and of the age range who are at a similar level. 

I think you'll find at 2 1/2-3, most of the children won't be too chatty at school, especially in the beginning.  And the emphasis that the montessori method puts on language development might be very beneficial to him.

[physmom]

Originally Posted by davidsmom184 

I've read that kids are partnered up, and. Thus, my worry. Should I wait before enrolling David?

Somebody correct me if I'm wrong here... but isn't being partnered up against Montessori? Or better put artificial partnerings that are not of the child's own design?  From my understanding a child shouldn't have to work with a partner if they don't want to.  However, many choose to work in groups (but more so at the elementary level than in preschool). 

[Shanny2032]

Even if the children are partenerd up (which has not really been my experience) there are 2 scenarios I see.  1.  he would be paired with an older child who would no doubt be verbally ahead of him regardless of an delays just based in his age.  The older child is likely to not even notice!  2.  Children, particularly raised in Montessori and particularly at this age are a lot less judgemental than we think they will be and not nearly as much as adults.

What I have seen is the earlier of the 2.  The older children aren't so much paired with a younger as much as they just tend to offer a helping hand and that's that.

[rumsmyname]

The only instance I have seen of partnering up was a particular lower el classroom where a first grader would have a third grader assigned to help if/when needed.  My son was thrilled as a first grader with his third grader (3rd grader high function autistic) even though I don't think there was much interaction.  None of the early childhood classes had specific assignments as far as I was aware.  All three of my children have thoroughly enjoyed being the oldest in their classrooms, taking the responsibilities very serious and being helpful.  It is one of the best parts of the three year cycle.

I think it will all depend upon the particular school, the teacher and the classroom dynamic.  My son at 3 was diagnosed PDD-NOS early on .  He was not really ready to enter the class on his own but his twin sister most definitely was.  Because he spent his time observing and absorbing what others were doing as opposed to doing the activities himself, it would have been easy for the school to say wait.  However, our wonderful teacher watched him very closely and given his personality, what she thought he was getting from the situation she was happy to have him.  The school we moved to 3 years later when my younger dd was in her second year of early childhood would not have taken him (we moved).  Given their environment and application of Montessori it was very consistent with how they present themselves.  No biggie, just very different environment...I think.

My ds you would never know the learning difficulties, peculiarities that were present when young.  He is still somewhat an odd duck but has been completely successful to date in Montessori.  The environments we have encountered have celebrated the individual successes while recognizing we all have areas that need to be worked on.  Its ok to be an odd duck.

So my long winded way of saying...depends on the particular school, teacher, classroom and your son.