weening a paci addict

[Rhiannon09]

DD started sleeping through the night when she was about 4 months old, sleeping in a car seat next to the bed in our bedroom.  Since then, I’ve had to start sleeping on the floor next to her in her nursery (long story), and now, at 7 months, she’s started waking up many, many times (like, ten) through the night wanting her pacifier put back in.  I wake up exhausted (and I think she is too). 

I think I’ve propagated this problem—she stirs or wakes up, I pop her paci in when I’m mostly asleep, and now she needs to have it in her mouth to sleep or go back to sleep and wakes up entirely if she doesn’t have it. 

The question is, how do I undo this?  Is having her cry it out the only option?  If so, how would I go about it?  (Do I need to start out letting her cry for 3 minutes one day, 5 the next, etc., or do I do it every time she wakes up?)  Suggestions would be most appreciated—we need some solid sleep.

[snoopy5386]

I've heard of folks putting about 10 pacifiers in the crib with the baby and they learn to find one on their own at night. Worth a try!

[RiverandJulie]

Im right with you! SOunds just like mine (he is 11 months)  Mine is preemie too, I have a theory that they have a little more trouble self-soothing and that they are not only asking for the paci, but also for the comfort of you.  Here is what I started doing and it seems to help a little.  (It is a combo of No Cry Sleep Solution and my own)

I rock him/feed him etc to almost asleep, then put him down while he is still awake.  I pat him, hang out with him.  (He is all over the place)

Just before he falls asleep I take the paci out.  If he starts crying, put it back and try again when he is almost asleep.  Eventually he is asleep without it.  When he wakes up, I am tired and I just stick it back in his mouth.

THe other thing I have started doing, is during the day, I give him the paci in his hand, not his mouth.  To teach him to do it himself. 

It is working, we went from every hour or two, to once or twice a night. 
Good LUck-let me know if any thing else works, because some nights I am ready to throw them all away!

[P.J.]

Originally Posted by Rhiannon09 

DD started sleeping through the night when she was about 4 months old, sleeping in a car seat next to the bed in our bedroom.

A car seat is not an appropriate place for a baby to sleep. Please get your baby a bassinet, mattress or crib. I am hoping someone else can provide a link to research that shows that car seats are not healthy for babies to be in more than a couple hours at a time maximum. It has to do with oxygen. Please, please provide your baby with a better place to sleep.

And no, Cry It Out is not the answer here (or ever IMO). Letting your baby cry alone can destroy trust, not just in you but in the world in general. Not only that, but some babies develop a real fear of going to bed after being left to cry, and the parents have an even bigger bedtime problem than before. It is terrifying for a baby to be left alone to cry, not knowing when her mama will come back. The No Cry Nap Solution has a chapter about breaking the suck-to-sleep habit. I recommend reading that and trying her method first. A lot of people have success with it. Good Luck!
 

[Snapdragon]

I am also trying to paci wean somewhat! IT was such a great tool in the beginning but now I don't like how often my baby is sucking on the piece of plastic! Luckily, he falls asleep with it and then it falls out or I take it out and it doesn't obther him. but he uses it every night to go to sleep, and also to calm down if he is upset. He is 8 months and dh and I are trying to lead him away from the paci a bit more. But we haven't been too successful yet! I think we are going to try to just give it to him less and less when we can. I like the idea of putting it in his hand. I would love him to use the paci less and less as time goes on.

[Rhiannon09]

Snoopy: That would be a great solution, but she’s in a bed that keeps her slightly elevated rather than a crib.  I’ll keep it in mind for when she moves into her crib!

RiverandJulie: Thanks for your suggestion…but I’m afraid I don’t quite follow!  Falling asleep isn’t a problem so much as her waking up and wanting the paci.  It falls out multiple times throughout the night, so I have to keep putting it back in—that’s the problem.

In any case, I’ll definitely be putting it in her hand during the day in hopes that she learns how to wield it herself!

PJ: During the time DD was in a car seat, there was no safe alternative.  DD had a severe reflux and choking problem (and shouldn’t have been sent home from the NICU as early as she was, imo).  Laying her down flat risked her choking, and being eight weeks premature, her brainstem was too immature to know what to do when that happened.  She would begin to asphyxiate, and did, many times.  The best neonatologists in my state recommended the car seat to avoid this, and her pediatrician actively encouraged it, for her safety.

I’ll take another look at Pantley’s chapter; thanks for the reminder about it.

[Knitting Mama]

I think what RiverandJulie is saying is that her method is to teach her baby to not need the paci while sleeping by teaching him to fall asleep (and then stay asleep) without it.

[Rhiannon09]

Aimee: Oh, indeed--thank you!  Yes, I see what you're saying now, RiverandJulia.  That makes sense; thank you for the suggestion. 

[RiverandJulie]

Yep-if they can fall asleep without it, they are less likely to need it or be confused whenthey wake up without it.