not working (as in a career) and a twinge of sadness

[kathymuggle]

I am a little down - and would like a hug or a btdt!

I work for a library for 15 hours a week.  I am well paid and I love, love, love my job.

There is an opportunity to move up to supervisor, which would mean 35 hours (plus - but the plus would be unpaid/from home) a week.  It would mean a raise in income of about 30, 000 per year.  To be clear though - we do not need the money.  Our income is decent and we do not have any real debts.  My Dh would like the money, but he has $$ for eye sockets, lol.  I have not told him the position exists as i do not want to discuss it with him.

I will not be applying for the job.  It would mean putting my youngest in school, and I am committed to not doing that until she is at least grade 7.  The list of reasons is long and not up for debate.  I might consider putting her in a cool, funky private school if one existed in this area...which it does not.  Working fulltime would negatively affect my family in other ways - I would see less of my one child who is in school, and I would be less availible to help my oldest with his online classes/ ferry him to drama (which is very important to him).

I know, however,  I would apply for the job if my kids were in school.  The extra money in a job I love is a good thing.

I am feeling a bit sad because HSing is causing me to not pursue my career further.  I know this is a choice i am making and we all make choices.    Oh well, they won't be young forever...and more opportunities await in a few years, I am sure.  Sigh.  

Edited by kathymuggle - 11/19/10 at 1:00pm

[mrsfrenchy]

Have you considered the possibility of working and homeschooling?  There is a yahoo support group for this that I am a member of.  My kids are still quite young, but I hope to work fulltime (or at least 25-30hrs/week) and homeschool at the same time.  It's a lot but it can be done.

Some people have a relative watch their kids (not my first choice).  Some hire a nanny of sorts.  This is what we do and will continue to do.  Our nanny is with the kids while we are in school.  When the kids are older, we expect that she will simply do a lot of reading (whether practice for our child or reading things like Magic School Bus, that fit into what we're studying in history or science), outings, art projects, educational computer games, and most of all--play.  We'll work on school on the weekends and in the afternoons (when kids are little, I don't feel you need much structured learning and when they are older [and can read] they can do some independently during the day and you can finish/follow-up on that work at night).

I don't think that working and homeschooling have to be incompatible.  It is a lot of work, but its also something to consider.

[kathymuggle]

Thanks - I actually had not thought of the nanny route.

[bobandjess99]

I just bumped up my work to 25-30 hrs/week, from 10ish, with the opportunity to go FT 40 in January.  I am still homeschooling my kids.  I also am using a babysitter/nanny to cover the hours I am at work.  Also, their dad and I work different days, so some of the time I am at work, they are home with him, so for example, for a 32 hour work week, they only go to daycare for 3 days, spend 1 day with dh and 3 days with me.  In those 4 days, we can get all the schooling done we need, and of course the sitter plays games and reads and stuff with them...as dd gets older, she can even bring workbooks and stuff to work on.  :)  

It's a hard choice.  It would be even harder if we didn't need the money (in my case, we desperately do).  You are right, everything in life is a choice, a tradeoff.  You just have to do what you think is right.  Maybe in a few years, you'll feel like FT work is the better choice? who knows!

[phathui5]

I can relate.

I'm a doula right now and also working on a certification as a childbirth educator. What I want to do is go to midwifery school and become a midwife. I know that what I want isn't the best choice for my family, so I'm putting it off until my kids are older, hopefully in 5-6 years.

Putting it off isn't my ideal, but I think it's worth it to keep them out of school.

[SusannahM]

I am in graduate school, my husband works, and we still homeschool.  We went with the stay with a relative choice someone mentioned.  It has worked out well so far.  It is definitely possible.  I am lucky that my daughter learns quickly and is quite self-led in her studies.  My son is not school-aged yet, and he learns very differently (read: he's very, very stubborn LOL, but since he is just shy of 4, I will see if that trait works itself out a bit with age!).  So, we have to take things one step at a time to see if this continues to work or not.  But, so far so good!

[inky leeuhhh]

i'm about to quit my job in feb and i'm feeling the same way. i am so torn between staying at home with the girls and working. i'll still be working a tiny bit, but more just to get myself and the girls out of the house (i'll be teaching preschool 4 hrs a week and they will come with me). i just feel like its the best option for us right now. i think once i'm actually home and getting a routine worked out, i will feel better about it. i'm actually really surprised i feel this way- i have been wanting to stay home for an entire year since i came off maternity leave.

[spruce]

*hug*