Help me communicate why this bothers me!

[MunchiesMom]

I'm not sure how to describe what I'm feeling, and I'm having a hard time explaining it to my husband. Could someone help give me the words I'm looking for?

Santa is at the mall now, along with a little train kids can ride on. I'm fine with him riding the train but don't really care if he even looks at Santa, let alone sits on his lap. It annoys me beyond belief when my husband gets so exited for santa and tries to push it onto DS. Like if DS isn't interested, who cares! Ug, it irritates me. I really don't want DS obsessing over a fictional character. I'd rather see him get excited over a nativity scene, since that's what Christmas is really about.

We don't encourage our toddler to watch TV and up until a week ago he had never seen a movie. However we bought Toy Story 3 because we wanted  to see it, and now DS is hooked. He asks for the movei, shouts out all the character names and now recognizes Disney characters when we're out of the house. This really bugs me, but what?

Can someone help me find the words?

[tzs]

could he just be excited b/c he did this as a kid and it's a nostalgia thing?

[BFandHS]

The words you used here made perfect sense to me.  You do not approve of the commercialization of Christmas and prefer not to have your child participate in the big Marketing To Children racket of Capitalism.  Some people have a hard time understanding this concept.  And as tzs said, he probably has some nostalgia involved with it. 

[lilmom]

I have the same issues as you, OP. I really get where you are coming from. We are Christians and I feel that aspect of Christmas is way more important than Santa. I also am totally against all the marketing to children that goes on with movies/tv/commercials.

I basically said those 2 sentences exactly word for word to my husband. Jesus is more important than Santa, so let's don't make it all about Santa. I also said, Let's try to encourage values over material things. So that means we have to be extra diligent in regard to what our kids are watching and what they are getting obsessed with.

My son is 3 now, and believe me, even when you are diligent, OP, this is a tough road. DS is obsessed with the Cars movie. DH went out and bought it and they watched it together. Part of the battle for me is that the only real bonding my DH did with his own dad was over movies and/or toys. Sad, but true. So he has that sense of nostalgia, and it's what he knows.

As time has gone on though, I have really encouraged him to DO thing rather than be entertained by technology, but it is very difficult. Just keep telling DH over and over and over. And if it's a serious issue, stand your ground. Also, keep instilling values in your child that reflect what you want him to learn.

This year we may go see Santa at the mall for the first time, because this is the first time DS has shown interest. I am so grateful that the past years with him, he could have cared less. I used to be totally against going to see Santa, but I think I have come to a point where I feel like, it will not kill him, and he wants to do it, and it would also be fun for DH. It's just not my hill to die on. Some other things would be..like a violent movie or something like that.

Just wanted to say, you're not alone, and good luck. Just tell him simply, from your heart, what is on your mind.

[lifeguard]

I find I feel the same way with a lot of things with the younger ones. I personally like the Santa thing - when ds is old enough to understand & get excited about it than we'll do it, but I don't get pushing it on them when they aren't interested. I DESPISE seeing pictures of people's poor babes crying on Santa's lap - I just don't get it. But to me is beyond Santa & not even really about commercialism (for us Santa was a fun thing & not all about more & more stuff) but parents doing stuff "for" their children when really it is about themselves. Big, over the top 1st birthday parties fall into the same category for me.

[MunchiesMom]

Thank you, all, for sharing your thoughts! I'm glad I'm not alone. BFandHS - you couldn't have said it better... the "commercialization of Christmas " and "Marketing To Children" racket of capitalism. Thanks, now to talk to hubby. I just feel like DS is so virgin and easily influenced... I want to shield him!

[BFandHS]

Glad I could help.    Let us know how it goes. 

[SomethingAnonymous]

You're not alone, and you are right that he could totally become obsessed. I have a 4 year old that proves it, even though I have tried to push the importance of Jesus and ignore Santa all together.  If one parent says Santa is real, blah blah blah.. and the other says he isn't.. just a character, etc- how can you explain that your child? So I definitely recommend being on the same page.  I hope he comes to understand your point of view!

[MunchiesMom]

I totally hear ya! Ug, the Santa issue is getting worse in recent days. DS (2.5) now points him out everywhere he goes. DH and I have agreed not to talk about him in our home and not decorate with santa holiday decor. But DS gets so excited when he sees Santa. We have an old Night Before Christmas book that he wants to read like 6 times a day. And now he shows no onterest in the Jesus Loves Me book. I guess Jesus doesn't visually attract toddlers as well since he doesn't have bright colors and bells!

We sat DS down and talked to him about the true reason for Christmas, all the amazing things Jesus has done for us, etc. Isn't creating all the fun zoo animals and nature pretty cool?! Oh, but Santa bring toys/

Any suggestions on books or short cartoons tha a child would enjoy on Jesus and the true meaning of the holidays?

[fyrwmn]

i've always loved "santa, are you for real?" . my mom had this book when were kids, and our bible bookstore had it when dd was little so we bought it. it explains the story of saint nicholas so thyat kids understand how santa came to be. it also focuses on the real meaning of christmas. dd is 5yrs and i've tried not to bring much of santa to the holiday season in our house. we've talked about how santa is just something pretend, but i'm not sure she believes me on that. we focus on doing for others throughout the season instead of all the speculating about what santa might bring. and there are no grand wish lists here, though i expect that may change as the kids get older. for now, dd (our oldest) wants a barbie and m&ms. it helps that i run the secret santa program for the town (for families in need) and we pick a child or two that are our kids ages and they help select the gifts for that child. we do get a picture with "santa" but only because dh is the town's santa. even that depends on the kid's tolerance for the year...dd was scared to death of santa when she was 3, so we skipped it. i can't understand the pics of terrified kids with santa!

[Belia]

Now, you see, Santa doesn't bother me one little bit.  Maybe because I'm not Christian??  The meaning I have chosen to assign to Santa ever since way before DS came along was that he represents the spirit of goodness and generosity and helping others- thinking hard about what might make others happy before yourself.  And, for myself, Santa represents the wonder and innocence and pure joy that is Christmas to a small child.  You know, before we grew up and Christmas became another chore and obligation.

That said, I totally respect where you're coming from and think that if you aren't feeling the Santa vibe for yourself, your child, and your family, then there's nothing wrong with that.  I get why you'd want to unplug from that aspect of the holiday.  No harm, no foul.

P.S.  I'm also one of those people who got the screaming picture on Santa's lap next year. And I kinda loved it.    What can I say?  I"m a scrapbooker, and we're a weird crowd.  I take pictures of EVERYTHING, and the pout on my LO's face when he was checking Santa out was just too adorable.  I know, I'm a horrible mom.  

[Belia]

One more thing... a tradition we had growing up was that on Christmas Eve, all of the kids and my mom would bake a birthday cake for Jesus.  Then we would decorate it and put birthday candles on it and sometime on Christmas Eve or Day the whole family would gather around and sing "Happy Birthday" to baby Jesus.  

That might be a nice, friendly way to incorporate the meaning of Christmas into your family.  A few years ago my mom revived that tradition when the grandkids started getting old enough, and even though I no longer consider myself Christian, it still brought tears to my eyes to see the next generation doing that.