7yo girl and mood swings- please help me

[kittie313]

My oldest girl will be 8 in April and has mood swings.  I started the same thing at around her age, and I have no clue how to help her with it other than to NOT handle it the way my parents and grandmother did.  Do you have any suggestions for me, and for my poor dh who has the pleasure of being the only male in a house with a wife and 4 daughters stairstepped?  In the next few years we could have a tween with PMS (I was 11 or 12 when I started my monthly cycles and I anticipate that with all our girls as it is the average age in my mother's family, my mom was the exception with starting at 16) and me with PMS and at least one of the other girls going through the mood swings that our 7yo girl is going through now.  My husband wants to invest in a small one bedroom home or condo for him to live in one week a month in the next couple years, and I don't blame him.  My 7yo girl is driving ME batty with how quickly her moods change and how she seems to be set off over the smallest things.  What can you suggest for me and dh in this one?  This is completely new territory for both of us, as I was raised an only child and didn't have much interaction with other kids (despite being in public and private schools my entire life) and dh is the youngest of 9 but 14 years younger than the sibling closest to his age (he has siblings older than my parents, he was obviously the unexpected blessing) so he pretty much grew up an only child (although he did deal with his mom going through the change when he was a teenager, he is DREADING the time when I go through it myself).

On the same note, are there any books or anything that you would suggest for HER that could help her better understand?  She isn't a strong reader at all but I know that if I can find a book or two that would help her understand it that I can read with her and discuss, maybe she won't feel like such an oddball.  She has commented a few times recently to me in private about how she's uncomfortable in her own body and doesn't really know what is going on, so this is something I need fairly quickly.  I'm going to the library tomorrow, and planning to make a purchase at amazon for some books tonight, so any suggestions are welcome for books for both child and parents.  Please help us, she is moodier than me sometimes and that scares me and dh both when we are in the middle of a meltdown.

[3xMama]

Having not been through this, I can't really help all that much. I can tell you one piece of advice I got from a former very close friend when I first had kids. She told me that if I ever felt that I was in a situation where I wanted to not do what my parents did to handle a situation with my kid, to figure out what the exact opposite of their reaction would be and start there. It may not work, but at least you know you aren't doing what you don't want to do and it is someplace to start.

I can also tell you that my grandfather was in your husband's place many many a year ago. He had six daughters, all stairstep, and a wife who spent a lot of her time pregnant while the girls were going through that mood swing change into adolsence. He managed to survive somehow!

Good luck!

[tink79]

My 7 year old has started these crazy emotional meltdowns lately too.  I think, for the most part (for her anyway) that she's tired, has big, busy days and by the end of the day, her emotions just pour out.  I'm sure hormones are probably playing a role in there too somewhere.  After she melts down for 15 minutes or so, usually sobbing, she's cool, even apologizes for the "outburst" and goes on her merry way.  It's pretty humorous at this point because she's so aware of it and it comes out of nowhere but I'm sure as she gets into the preteeny stuff, it's not going to be as funny. 

Anyway, I feel for you, I only have 3 girls close in age but that's enough for me to be scared for the teen years LOL.

[thefreckledmama]

Carrie at The Parenting Passageway has a lot of good advice and ideas for handling the emotional swings that comes with this age.  I found with my daughter, who is now 8, that understanding the "whys" behind it really helped me be able to guide her through her emotions and keep her from getting so worked up all the time.  You might have to search through blog entries, but it really is worth it.  Her wisdom has been immensely helpful to our family.