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How am I supposed to live without my daughter? - Page 2

post #21 of 104

I am so sorry to hear of your loss it's such a sad thing  a parent has to go through . Many thoughts and prayers to your family to send you some comfort during your grieving .

 

There are some support groups for loss of children maybe you can see if you can find one and are you able to get added help for your boys  since it's hard to move on to just continue after such a unexpected loss.

 

 

 

Due to your loss share with parents about getting things to childproof those blind cords it may help you by helping other parents realize what danger blind cords can actually be by sharing your story .

 

You will be helping protect other family kids by passing that around .

post #22 of 104

I read your post hours ago and bawled me eyes out.  My heart and soul ache for your family right now.  I don't think there is anything that anyone can say to take your pain away, but we all wish that we could!  I agree with pp that said you beautiful little girl knows that you love her and that you would have done anything in your power to keep her safe. This is just such a tragic accident that is so fresh right now.  I know that time will help heal, but please be talking to your husband, your family, your friends, a support group, even a professional, about how you're feeling.  You need support to help you get through this.  You are so young----you don't deserve to live the rest of your life feeling like this. 

 

Please know that you are in my prayers.....Sending so much love your way tonight.

 

post #23 of 104

Oh my. I have no words of wisdom or even words of comfort.....nothing I can say will make it better, (I wish I could) No mom should outlive her child. I hope you have a lot of support. What a tragedy. HUGS.

post #24 of 104

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I know how much you must love your little girl.  Please do whatever you need to to get through each day and find some extra support for yourself and your family.  Our prayers are with you.

post #25 of 104

I want to reiterate what a pp'er said, so many of us are just lucky that bad things don't turn worse. This summer a young child drowned in a public pool, with lots of people around - it took so little time. 

Your daughter enjoyed your immense love her whole life.

I'm so so so sorry for you and your family, and my thoughts are with all of you.

post #26 of 104

As a counsellor, I can tell you something that will actually help with the trauma - EMDR. It is a trauma therapy. A good EMDR therapist can help you deal with the upsetting images and feelings without making you forget...it will just be less upsetting and easier to deal with. It is not that it will solve your grief but it really will make a huge difference, often you see vast improvement in the first few sessions (even the first for some people). You cannot go through what you did and not have trauma - untreated you can expect it to stay with you. EMDR may also help you remember the good things about your daughter when she was alive rather than the images of her after the accident. It will also help you deal with any negative messages you have about yourself in the situation.

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. You should be able to find someone through the EMDRIA website (just google it). Other ideas would be finding someone who does Self Regulation Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, or SensoriMotor Psychotherapy. I would advise this after dealing with it via EMDR though. Avoid traditional therapists doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or other talk-based therapies as they can be re-traumatizing and also much longer term therapy. Therapy used to be all about talk but there are now approaches that do much more than cognitively resolving issues.

This is the type of situation in which you should seek help. Certainly also look for peer groups, etc. However an EMDR therapist can really make a huge change in your level of functioning - which of course will help so much with your sons. It will also help you feel less disturbed by the whole thing...which I'm sure is figuring huge right now.

Blessings, Momma. Let me know if you have questions.
 

 

post #27 of 104

candle.gif I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter.

post #28 of 104

I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your family.  :hug

post #29 of 104

There are no words hug2.gif.  Losing a child is the most profound loss a person can face.  I am so so sorry.

 

I have a friend who's 18 month old daughter died after being accidentally caught in a blind cord.  Only in her case it was at daycare.  My friend and her husband started a non-profit to help change laws and inform people about this danger.  I know everything is still raw but if you'd like a link to their website please PM me.

post #30 of 104

hug.gif I am so so sorry. I am in tears and my heart is breaking for you. This is the deepest loss a person can experience in this life, and you are going through your darkest hour right now. I echo the sentiment to seek support. I also think Somatic Experiencing (as mentioned in a PP) could help, as it deals with surviving trauma and helping to regulate your body's response. I would also want to be connecting with other parents who've lost a child. They are the only people who can even begin to understand what you are going through right now. Please reach out for help.This was not your fault. Your angel baby knows you love her and will always be with you in spirit, your souls are intertwined. I don't know what your spiritual leanings are, but I found the book No Death, No Fear by Thich Nahn Hahn to be a good resource when I was grieving. The teachings of Eckhart Tolle also address the spiritual aspects of facing great loss.

 

candle.gif

post #31 of 104

So, so sorry for the loss of your precious girl.  If there is a compassionate friends chapter near you, they can be a

Godsend in having people who understand walk with you through your grief. 

 

Saying a prayer for you.

post #32 of 104

i am so so sorry. i just want to send my prayers to you and your family.  oh, my heart is so sad for you.

i also want to repeat what others have mentioned.  find a local compassionate friends chapter.  they can really help you.  also, find an EMDR therapist.  i have done that form of therapy and found it most helpful.

post #33 of 104

My heart has been breaking for you. I'm so very sorry that you lost your precious little girl. Please take some of the wise suggestions given to you here, day by day, minute by minute.

post #34 of 104

I am so sorry for your pain.  I know it as well.  I posted here a few months ago, "i am lost" is the name of the thread.  My 18 month old daughter was laid down for a nap and never awoke.  My heart is always feeling like its going to burst.  I'm 8 months out.  If you want to email me and talk I will be there for you.  mjmjam2002@yahoo.com  If you don't want to talk and just want to read my blog let me know I will send you the link.  I understand.  Hugs and prayers.

post #35 of 104

I am SO so sorry.  (((hugs)))  My heart breaks for you.

post #36 of 104

oh mama.....my heart is breaking for you and your family. i am so so so so so sorry for the loss of your daughter.

post #37 of 104

I'm so sorry.

post #38 of 104

I am so sorry mama.

post #39 of 104

I am so incredibly sorry. It feels impossible to ever go on living, but you will. You will never forget her, but you can move on and live your life. ((((((hugs)))))

post #40 of 104

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

I would second the Compassionate Friends support group as a good resource.

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