DH planning vasectomy when I'm 38wks PG - good idea?

[dickybird]

I'm due Jan 1st., with our third child, an unexpected "bonus baby".  We're excited to welcome our little surprise into the family, but we're both on board with this being the last baby.  DH has a vasectomy scheduled Dec. 17th, which I was OK with originally, but now I'm wondering about the recovery and how he would be able to assist should I go into labor.  From what they told him at the clinic, he needs to be laying down for 24hrs afterwards, and taking it easy for about a week.  It just seems like it's cutting it close, but maybe I'm overestimating how difficult the recovery is?  Can anyone share their experiences with vas recovery, and what we can expect?  thanks!

[HulaJenn]

My DH hasn't had the procedure, but asking around in preparation of it, the recovery can vary greatly depending on the man, the surgeon etc. I don't think there is any way to know 100% that it would be okay - some have complications after surgery. If it were me, there is obviously no rush to getting it done while still pregnant, lol, so I would wait until you are gearing up to need birth control again post partum?

[mich]

I asked Dh to wait until our youngest was 2, but I tend to be a catastrophic thinker, if you know what I mean.

As far as recovery, DH spent a day in bed then we went to the beach for a few days. He was fine, he did wear a cup for a week or so, to protect himself when the little ones jumped on him. The only thing is he could not lift anything. It's a favorite memory of his. "Hon, remember when we went on vacation and you had to carry all the bags, and lug all the beach stuff, and carry the kids, everyday!"

[sleepingbeauty]

I'm with Hula.  If you DO go into labor sooner then you're really going to need him to be ready to go, you know?  I'd wait a little bit, but that's me. 

[happysmileylady]

Originally Posted by HulaJenn 

My DH hasn't had the procedure, but asking around in preparation of it, the recovery can vary greatly depending on the man, the surgeon etc. I don't think there is any way to know 100% that it would be okay - some have complications after surgery. If it were me, there is obviously no rush to getting it done while still pregnant, lol, so I would wait until you are gearing up to need birth control again post partum?

DH hasn't had it done, but my BIL did about 3 wks after their youngest was born.  He was actually pretty much down for a week.  I don't think it was the actual recovery, so much as it was the pain meds.  He was in quite a bit of pain, and taking vicoden, so that really wiped him out.

[Kindermama]

I would wait! My DH had a V 3 months after our 4th was born. We, of course, at the time were utterly convinced we were "DONE". Turns out, not so much and now we are 4 months post-reversal! It's a crazy time to make a long-term decision. I would wait. That's not even taking into consideration that he'll be down and out for at least a week. That in and of itself is a good reason to wait a bit!

[mommathea]

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Edited by mommathea - 5/11/11 at 1:04pm

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

My dh had the v on Friday morning. Rested Sat. and Sun. and was back to work Monday morning with no issues. He has a very hard job with heavy lifting and on his feet the whole day. He only had very mild pain and the bruising was not visible unless you really looked for it. DS was born Oct. 18th and dh had his V Jan. We did decide to wait until after ds was born for the V just in case. I know kinda morbid but......

Neither of us has regretted his V for a minute. 2 was it for us period. We knew we could never afford a reversal since insurance wouldnt cover it so I guess that played a roll in the no regrets as well. Once it was done that was it no going back.

[babygrey]

Originally Posted by mich 

I asked Dh to wait until our youngest was 2, but I tend to be a catastrophic thinker, if you know what I mean.

This. I don't know anything about recovery time, but I wanted to second this. We are done after these babes. DH more done than me, and, if I said okay now, he'd run out and get a V tomorrow.

However, I'm a worrier and I know I personally could not handle the unexpected loss of a child combined with the loss of potential future children, yk?

I asked DH to wait a year post-birth, tho I'll probably flex on that if everything looks a-ok for a few months.

[Funny Face]

My dh just had his V over thanksgiving when I was 36 weeks pregnant. He would have only been inhibited really if I'd gone into labor that first 24 hours- but then I don't count on him for a huge amount of physical support in labor or postpartum (I've parented solo for a few years and I'm pretty used to it). 

I think we should have waited. Definitely until postpartum, better if we could have waited even longer. But the chance that I will get pregnant is HUGE and another unplanned pregnancy at this point could seriously put me over the edge physically and mentally. I wasn't at all sure this was what I wanted but he did and so he went ahead with it.

While I'm pretty sure I never need to be pregnant again (for physical reasons) it still felt like a big decision and we did discuss the 'what if' in the event that this baby did not survive or we were to lose a child. We also discussed the idea that we have always planned on adopting and that will still be an option for us.

Oh, and recovery-wise the more they rest and really focus on healing the better. Most complications are because they over did it too soon. Dh has had some bruising and tenderness and took ibuprofen the first few days. He has been up and moving around 'regular' since 3 days post-op (which was too soon imo but it's his balls  ). So far so good. Time will tell.

[zinemama]

You're both on board with this being the right choice for your family, so I think he should go ahead. My dh sat around for a day with an ice pack and then was fine. He was back to bike commuting the next week. It really was no big deal.

[tinuviel_k]

I say wait a little while. My husband is one of the men who had severe pain for about two weeks after his vasectomy. He was ultra careful, spent the whole first day after the surgery in bed. By the next morning he was in so much pain, and it just wouldn't go away. He had to stay home from work a full week, and it took him a full month to be able to get on a bike again. His doctor said it was unusual but it DOES happen.

[RaeDyCo]

My DH had his vasectomy done just after DS2 was born.  He was in a little pain that day but was back to work the next day.  He didn't even take any of the pain meds he was given.  He would have been totally capable of being there for me in childbirth if he had it done right before I went into labour.

Personally, we had no need to wait.  We knew 100% that we are done, our family is complete.

[Contrariety]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X 

My dh had the v on Friday morning. Rested Sat. and Sun. and was back to work Monday morning with no issues. He has a very hard job with heavy lifting and on his feet the whole day. He only had very mild pain and the bruising was not visible unless you really looked for it. DS was born Oct. 18th and dh had his V Jan. We did decide to wait until after ds was born for the V just in case. I know kinda morbid but......

Neither of us has regretted his V for a minute. 2 was it for us period. We knew we could never afford a reversal since insurance wouldnt cover it so I guess that played a roll in the no regrets as well. Once it was done that was it no going back.
 

Yup.

OP, if you are confident this babe is your last and will not want another regardless of the outcome of your birth, I say go for it!  It would have been nice to have DH's wait time the same time as my own wait time.  DH had his vas when DD was about 5 mos old and I was just getting my drive back, and it was a bummer to use alternatives until he got the all clear.

But I would have a back up plan in case there are complications.  It wouldn't be crazy to see if there is another adult who can stay with you for a day or two.  DH would have recovered really quickly were it not for the pain meds which he was overprescribed and so OD'ed (took just what the doc prescribed, nothing more or less).  He passed out cold in front of the toilet while peeing.  He fell back and the space between the toilet and the wall was just so that he fell with his back on the floor and his head at almost a 90 degree angle against the wall and practically cut off his airway.  This was at 6AM and I was sleeping with the kids in our bed while he was staying on the couch (didn't want any midnight kicks from the kids! Lol!) I just happened to hear the bang and was drifting back to sleep when I realized what the sound was.  Good thing, too!  I got in the bathroom and DH was struggling to breathe and turning blue!  He's not a small guy and was really wedged between the toilet and the wall so it took some jostling to get him free and breathing again.  I can't imagine being able to do that at 38 weeks pregnant, adrenaline rush or not.  That's why I say it might be wise to have another adult with you in the house to help you deal with any unforeseen events such as we had.  Oh! I hate to think about that experience! Nothing gets my eyes watery like that!  Anyway, he was puking all the rest of the day and was completely bed-ridden sick the day after that. 

As far as his vas went, all he needed was some ibuprofen and an ice pack for a few days.  He would have bounced back real quick if it weren't for the pain meds (which I TOLD him not to take unless he ABSOLUTELY needed... but why would he listen to me?).
 

[dickybird]

Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences!  I really appreciate it.  I've shared the thread with my husband, and we've decided that we'll go ahead if it can be moved up a week, and otherwise we're going to wait until after the baby is born and I've recovered.   I did go through all the "what-if" scenarios if the unthinkable should happen to any of our children, but we're really done with having biological children.  If we should find ourselves wanting another in the future, we would want to adopt. 

Contrariety, what a scary story!  My DH hasn't reacted well in the past to pain meds, and I could all too easily see him having a bad reaction.  I think I'll encourage him to make full use of the ice and ibuprofen.