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any one suck at keeping their house clean??

post #1 of 32
Thread Starter 

i'm feeling like a crappy mom/wife/person right now... i had a really hard time keeping my house clean.. i have 4 kids (oldest is 5 1/2 and has autism.. and youngest is 2 months) i feel like to keep up on my house i would have to clean all day every day... literally... dh and i will spend 3-4+ hours getting ready for company to come over and that's just to get all the main areas clean clean... our bedroom and the kids bedrooms will still be a disaster... ugh..  i'd like some help/support/advice...... please?!?!

post #2 of 32

Pop in on the decluttering forum. I could lurk in there for hours. There's a thread right now about being overwhelmed and not knowing where to start. 

 

Flylady and Motivated Moms are 2 programs that some people find really helpful. Flylady talks about the CHAOS syndrome--Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome. 

 

And basic decluttering really does help, as knowing that most SAHPs don't keep a house like you see on the Clorox commercials! Ha!

post #3 of 32

Me! me! *raises hand wildly*

 

I like to have a clean house but I really suck at it. It is one of the points of tension in my relationship with my SO actually. He feels like he can do it, so I should eb able to also. He misses a few kepy points, one beign that I actually play with the kids, not jus set them in front of the TV to clean. This takes up more of my time. 2, i cook meals, usually with both kids clamoring for my attention, and they are "real" meals and not frozen pizza. If i gnored the kids all day and fed them junk food tit would probably enable me to keep the house cleaner.

 

thirdly, I have a bit of an internet addiction. redface.gif I'm working on that. MDC seems slower since the format change so that helps, lol.

 

things that I've learned from flylady which helpme:

DO IT NOW. take the extra 30 seconds to clean up as you go along.

shine your sink. It sounds crazy, but the shine your sink concept helps me because once the sink is shiny and empty I feel motivated to wipe the counters, declutter the table, etc.

 

the thinkg I love most about flylady is that she always says "you're not behind. just jump in wherever you are." sometimes the gult/embarrassment around how our house looks or doesn't look can be immobilizing. knowing that it's not the end of the world, other people have the same problem, and you don't have to do it all right this minute makes it easier to take baby steps toward the end goal of a clean house.

post #4 of 32

I know your post isn't meant to be funny. But I cracked up when I read the title....because it is SO ME RIGHT NOW!

 

I loved this:
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy View Post

the thinkg I love most about flylady is that she always says "you're not behind. just jump in wherever you are." sometimes the gult/embarrassment around how our house looks or doesn't look can be immobilizing. knowing that it's not the end of the world, other people have the same problem, and you don't have to do it all right this minute makes it easier to take baby steps toward the end goal of a clean house.


 

Check out my thread in this section (the one about why Bree drank) and there are some great tips.

post #5 of 32

I suck at it. It's been my goal for oh, 7 years now (the age of my first and the number of years as a SAHM) to be good at it.

 

I find I am getting better and I make progress, but then something happens (holidays, illness, travel, new baby) and my progress takes a step back. I am not hard on myself about it though. I know that what is most important is happy kids and a happy mom so that takes priority. I have no problem leaving a mess to go take advantage of a fine day at the park or to go to the zoo or aquarium. I have also seen a pattern, when a child reaches the magic age of 3 it suddenly becomes easier to make a progress. I guess I am able to move some of my energy from the intense early years of parenting onto other things like cleaning and organizing.

 

I am finding the key to hanging onto progress is less stuff and living a simpler life. It is sometimes painful to let go of clutter and make room for everything to have a designated place, but it is the solution for me. I find that the feeling of freedom I get from the taking big step of letting go of "stuff" to be well worth the pain of the process.

 

I'm also finding that I need to be very honest and practical about my own hangups and way of being. That means that the vacuum needs to live close to the living room so it will be used regularly and put away when I'm done, keeping it down the hall, in another room's closet just doesn't work. I need to keep a trash can in the living room to quickly pick up all of the paper and trash that seems to breed there. I can't stack things, somehow the extra step of lifting to get to something makes putting the thing away when I'm done too much. I have to have lots of shelves in my linen closet so I don't have to stack piles of linens and towels. I can just stack one set together or only have a stack of 4 towels, rather than tall stacks that are easily disheveled when you reach for something in the middle. Same for the kitchen. Only there buckets or bins work in the cabnets rather than stacks. (Sounds crazy, but it's true for me.) I have to minimize surfaces, because shelves and tables collect clutter. Strangely, cabinets or shelving with doors does not. I started arranging all of my clothes in my closet by color rather than by type and it made it easier to put clothing away and find it again (this works for books and DVDs too). I have hooks by the front door to hang up diaper bags, purses, jackets, etc... We recently rearranged the furniture in our living room and put all 3 of the kids toy strange units together, in a line, like it's one piece of furniture. I can't even begin to tell you how much better/easier it is than having the 3 toy storage units even slightly apart. Little simple changes in how I do things, changes that would not seem to be that big of a deal, have made all the difference. I don't really know why this is, but it is.

 

Hang in there mama. It will bet better/easier. You have your hands very full with a new baby and a child with special needs. Your kids need you to be focused on them right now, the house will still be there when they are older and are less intense about there needs. (FWIW I do understand. I have a 7 year old that is very spirited, enough so that I often wonder if she has mild SPD, and a 3 year old with Ds that was just diagnosed with leukemia. Homemaking is not at the top of my list for where to focus my energy everyday.)

 

PS It helps to have everyone, especially DH, on board with your goal to make the house more organized and clean. Nothing makes me feel more defeated than trying to implement a change to make thing easier than to have others, *ahem, DH, ahem*, not follow through with the change.

post #6 of 32
Thread Starter 

thanks ladies! i appreciate the help!! i will go check out those other forums in a bit!

 

decluttering is a huge problem for me... we just moved back to az from alaska and we had to downsize..... and we had too much stuff for our house up there to handle... the problem is my dh has a REALLY hard time when i try to get rid of things... and it doesn't help that he doesnt mind coming home to a mess..

 

do it now is probably the thing i am worst at.. the last thing i feel like doing after i eat is cleaning the kitchen.. and my kids are so little i dont get much of a break!

 

*sigh* oh well i'll figure it out some day.... probably when the kids are out of the house and i dont have 6 people to clean up after!!

post #7 of 32

oh hey i SUCK lol i clean all freaking day but somehow my house is trashed...

post #8 of 32

That's me! I'd blame it on the crippling disability, but really, I've never been good at it. It's just not an overwhelming interest of mine; I can always find something more fun to do than clean. ;)

 

I'm getting better though. I can actually blame the disability for that. It's slowed me down a lot and I find it very difficult to get anything done some days, but because I use canes, I NEED to keep the floor clear. And for my sanity and to maximize what I can get done when I'm having a good day, I need to have the house be more organized and less cluttered. So I've gone on a major decluttering spree this year, aiming for 2010 items in 2010. Almost there! I've switched up how I do a few chores to stay on top of them and keep things organized.

 

The house still isn't a showcase of clean by any means, and some days it's downright messy, but overall it's better. Onward and upward is my motto!

post #9 of 32

I suck at it, horribly! I can clean the entire house one day and the next it's trashed. I'm just not organized and that contributes to a lot of it. Oh, yeah, and I'm lazy, too. hide.gif

post #10 of 32

I used to be really good at keeping a clean house, but since having kids, it just seems pointless some days! You know? You know that if you clean top to bottom, the next day it's going to be trashed again, so why do it? That's why I just have a minimum cleanliness level I like to keep. Toilets need to be clean for hygiene reasons, laundry needs to be kept up with, diapers washed, counters wiped, and rooms picked up at the end of the day. Floors getting mopped has fallen way low on my list since having a kiddo. Dirty mirrors can go for weeks, sticky cabinets, windows, tables, etc can be put off. It helps me keep some level of sanity without getting obsessive compulsive about cleaning. I'm definitely more of "neat" person and less of a "germaphobe" So the house can be dirty but still be neat.

post #11 of 32

I tell myself that if the house is clean enough for company 1 day a week, i'm doing alright.  With kids in the house, it's not until it gets to the point that it 'can't' be cleaned that you have a real problem ;)

post #12 of 32

LOL I am glad to have seen this thread....it means I am not alone.  We have too much stuff....I find that every flat surface is used to put stuff (not hoarders bad of course-just cluttered).  I  find with the hardwood floors I am sweeping multiple times a day....old house and 2 cats=lots of dustbunnies.  It seems that I get the kitchen spotless in time to make the next meal.  The sitting room is also the toy room....well that is a lost cause.  I clean the baathroom regularly and with a little boy and a husband who decides not to put his glasses on in the middle of the night I am constantly wiping up accidents....grrrr plus I am to blame too as I would rather put off til tomorrow.

post #13 of 32

 I'm not so great at it. I wouldnt say I suck, but it's definitely not easy for me. I had to answer your post though.

You are being WAY too hard on yourself. You have 4 kids, 5 years old and younger!!

If everyone is fed, loved, their bodies are relatively clean and clothed (even in pajamas), you are doing a great job.

post #14 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2happy View Post

 I'm not so great at it. I wouldnt say I suck, but it's definitely not easy for me. I had to answer your post though.

You are being WAY too hard on yourself. You have 4 kids, 5 years old and younger!!

If everyone is fed, loved, their bodies are relatively clean and clothed (even in pajamas), you are doing a great job.



This is what I'm REALLY trying to come to terms with before I give birth...It's been hard on me to take care of a spirited toddler and be pregnant. There are days where I think, "He's fed, he's playing happily (by making a mess), and I did one chore today (dishes usually). Day = Success." There are days my son wears his PJ shirt all day long. Or just goes naked (we're PLing) If nothing else it cuts down on laundry!

post #15 of 32

Aw heck, most days i wear pajamas all day long, never mind what the kids are wearing lol!

 

But seriously, the best encouragement i ever got was from a childless older man; he told me that being a mom was work enough, and keeping my kids happy was far more important than keeping the house pristine.  Of course that was something i had (obviously) decided for myself, but it was nice to hear it from an un-invested third party.

post #16 of 32

My mother in law likes to tell me the story of how my father in law came home from work one day and said "what do you DO all day?? This house is a mess!" and she said "do you want a clean house, or children who are alive?"  (my DH and his brother were holy terrors and needed CONSTANT attention and are only 11 months apart). 

 

My house is usually a disaster.  I blame alot of it on DH.  He comes in the door and puts his jacket on the back of a chair, throws work papers on the kitchen table, and kicks his shoes off wherever.  I really can't stand to pick up after him so sometimes I just leave it and see if he picks it up, which he never does.

 

I started cleaning the kitchen after dinner because it is SO much nicer to wake up to a clean kitchen, and me and DD pick up the toys before DH gets home.  Thats about all I can say about our clean-up routine... the bathrooms get cleaned once a week and the beds are never made.  And the laundry is another story altogether...

 

I need motivated moms. 

post #17 of 32

I'm currently blaming the mess on: a 20mo, being 9mo pregnant, and we're moving. So there! lol

 

Seriously, though. We don't have a lot of "stuff" but we also don't have enough space in this stupid apt. The closet space is crazy limited. I'm looking forward to moving (and I usually don't like to move) because I'll be able to put stuff away as we move in and then develop a system. (That's the plan anyway)

post #18 of 32
My house used to be a lot tidier, but my 2 year old is a tornado. I don't know what to do with her. I'm cleaning up one mess, while she's making another. I can't even take a shower without her getting into something and messing up the house.
post #19 of 32

OH thank you for your post.  I was coming on to say the *exact* same thing but our kids are: 9, 7 and 3 so you have a much better excuse.  I just have some friends whose houses are constantly clean and organized and I seriously wonder how in the world they do it?

post #20 of 32

um yes. i can't even says it because im a parent. i have always had trouble keeping things neat and tidy. i have been working on keeping things tidier. 

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